Family Rights Group | Kinship carers’ Forum

We had our two granddaughters living with us. Then in 2022, mum decided to keep the elder granddaughter with her after making some allegations against us to social services. Then proceeded to carry out an investigation and decided that they were happy for her to remain there and mum was meant to have revoked the sgo for the elder one.


This has never been done and we have remained the SGO's.  Last year in the may, mum made a further allegation and refuse to let the younger granddaughter.Come back to us. again.This was all looked in and decided it was totally unfounded and was more malicious than anything else. The younger granddaughter came back to live with us and all has been fine up until June this year.


Unbeknown to us , mum had decided that she had discussed with the youngest granddaughter about her too returning to live with her.


What she had done is coerced herin 2 packing some bags which she then proceeded to hide around the side of the house. 


Then on one saturday morning she then left saying she was going to her mum's for the weekend which was what was planned. 


She then went round to her dad's (seperated) and briefly, hid the bags from him too, where her mum then arranged for a taxi to come and pick her up which dad thought was odd but thought nothing of it as mum has called a taxi before.


The next day when I was putting her washing away, I noticed that some of the of the hangers and boxes where she kept her clothes was empty upon further looking realised she'd actually packed up a load of her clothes.

Upon looking at our cctv at the house, we then noticed that the day beforehand (Saturday when she went to her mum's as planned for weekend contact) is when she'd actually taken the bags.

Where is we were under the impression that she was going to the bus stop to go to her mum's which was what was originally planned.

We then contacting social services (referal to MASH and social wirker allocated) as a result, they then carried out an assessment and decided that she can stay there.

They have said for her to remain having contact with us as we have the SGO.

However, we're feeling totally betrayed by the granddaughter and the mother and also by social services who have just said that she is to remain to have contact with us.It's a good idea to do so as we hold the SGO, In case anything happens in tge future.
(Kept on piece of elastic more like)

We have decided that we are not prepared to be kept on a piece of elastic or to be used in that way and so therefore we wish to revoke the SGO.

We spoke to the SGO support group who said that we need to make an application to court, which was fine, which was what we looked into doing.

However, it then transpires that we need to go through mediation.First of all , before it goes into court , hence us calling and tgen emailing mediation
Upon reading a response to our email received from mediation, it feels that we still have to go to mediation.But we are unsure as to what there is actually to mediate?

Mum is wanting her daughters to stay there, social services have deemed it to be okay, for her to stay there.


To be fair, we are not going to oppose that decision.In fact we are quite happy for the SGO to be revoked , on both of the grandchildren as we wish to have little else to do with that whole situation.

As a result, can you tell us what we would need to go to mediation for because it is very unlikely that mum would even attend mediation?

This was something that was suggested to her beforehand back in 2023 by Social Services, in order to try and promote a better working relationship with us, which she point blankly refused to do.

No one is going to oppose the revoking of the sgo , whereas in most situations it could be a case of mum , wanting them back and us , refusing to which case we would then have go through mediation first before going to court.

As it is, it would look like that. We would have to be paying for all this. Even though mum is on universal credit and is entitled to legal aid to which case the whole situation could all be resolved quickly easily and with minimal fuss. But yet, mum is refusing to do anything or even have contact with us.

So as a result, we are pretty confused as to why we would be needing mediation.And why everyone is an agreement , it can't just be signed to go into court to then have the SGO revoked.

We have emailed this to mediation but as yet await a response.

Dear The3grandparents

Welcome to the Kinship Carers’ forum. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am very sorry to hear about what you have gone through. You cared for your 2 granddaughters under a special guardianship order for a number of years. You explain how the girls’ mother made several unfounded allegations against you over the years. Your eldest granddaughter returned to live with her mother three years ago although the SGO remained in place. Your younger granddaughter recently returned to her mother too without your consent and in an underhand way. I can see that this caused you distress and concern.

Children’s services have said it is ok for the girls to remain with their mother but suggested you retain the SGO at least for your younger granddaughter. But you have decided that you do not want to do so and that you would like to revoke the orders for both children.

I understand that you have been in touch with your local special guardianship support group. I hope they have been able to offer you some emotional support as you have been through an upsetting time and as you say, feel betrayed.

I would encourage you to think about or get support with maintaining contact with your granddaughter/s. You are hurt. But you have cared for the younger child until very recently and I am sure still care about her and that she still loves you.

You have begun the process of applying to discharge the SGOs and been in touch with a mediation service. You are awaiting a response from the service as you query why mediation is necessary if none of the parties are going to oppose the order being ended. I hope that they respond to you very soon with clarification. My understanding is that there must be a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before making an application to court to end an SGO. However, if the children’s mother refuses to attend (as you suspect) then the mediator can sign a form to confirm this. However, as this is a private law matter which is outside our remit then if you would like further advice or information about the process of mediation requirements and ending a SGO, you can get advice on this from Child Law Advice; their contact details are here.

If you are applying without a solicitor, then the charity Support Through Court may be able to help; however, they cannot provide legal advice.

I hope that this is useful.

Best wishes

Suzie