Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hello,
My son’s primary school made a multi agency referral to children’s services under “other” specifying self-harm and reported sexualised language by another parent. The services requested were “initial advice and assistance” and to record information . We received no advice and the referral closed with zero contact.
This was very unsatisfactory as we told the school in person and in emails that we wanted help and advice for self-harm. We were clear that in our opinion the reported sexualised language was not a concern, but this did not prevent us from wanting help for our son in respect of his mental health and self-harm. The school, however, put on the referral that parents did not consent to the referral. This is not true- we consented to the parts about getting help for our child and we can evidence this.
Is it possible that the reason childrens services did not provide any help or signposting is because the school said we did not consent? I would like to understand the process and what makes social services respond and what makes them close a referral? I feel that if the school had correctly reported th consent we would have received help. I believe my son qualified as a child in need (anxiety, self harm, making him self sick, persistent absences from school due to anxiety) and that social services should have responded with help/advice as per parents request. This is important as 4 months after the referral my son self harmed again in school. It was a costly error if the school had misrepresented parents consent.

Dear NewMouse222

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your further post.

I am sorry to hear that you are still struggling to make sense of the referral made by your son’s primary school last year and children’s services’ response to it. The outcome from children’s services was that the referral was closed with no advice or contact. You explain that while you disagreed with some elements of the referral i.e. in relation to the concerns about sexualised language, you have always wanted and being willing to accept help in relation to your son’s mental health and self-harming behaviour.

You explain that your son self-harmed again in school four months after the referral was closed. You are understandably wondering about the processes involved and how they may have impacted on the lack of advice or support offered to your son. You were pursuing a complaint against the school last year in terms of their response.

You believe that your son may be a child in need and your description of his needs does suggest that he may benefit from additional support and assistance to promote his welfare and needs.

I can only provide limited and general advice as Family Rights Group provides advice on children’s services in England which is not your situation. There are some differences in terms of the child welfare processes, procedures, legislation, and regulations in the different countries of the UK. Unfortunately, our funding means that we can only advise families in England. However, I will provide signposting to services more locally who may be able to advise and support you further. I would also suggest more generally that you could consider:

• Writing to children’s services asking them to clarify their response and how they made their decision not to contact you or offer advice following the referral. It may be that, as you suggest, they were aware that you did not consent to (parts of) the referral. Perhaps it was not clear that you were happy to engage and indeed wanted help with other aspects of your son’s situation. You would need to check with them directly though.
• If you were unhappy with children’s services’ response you could consider making a complaint, this may be out of time so you would need to provide a reason for complaining later.
• You can self-referral to children’s services now to request an assessment of your son’s needs in relation to his anxiety, the impact on his physical health, school attendance and self-harming.

You may be able to access further advice and support from one of the useful services linked to here. You may also find Young Minds’ parents’ helpline helpful; they provide a free and confidential UK- wide service .

I hope that you and your family will be able to access the advice and support you are seeking.

Best wishes

Suzie