Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hello,
I know false allegations happen a lot but I can’t seem to find anything similar to what I’m going through so I’m hoping that posting will help me get some answers.
Long story short I’ve made a false allegation against my partner for domestic violence. I even went and used bruising I had on my body when I had tripped over as evidence and said he had done them. (Please don’t judge me, I’m going through a lot at the moment, peri-menopause is what I think) He was arrested, charged and released on bail with conditions to not contact me, With a new court date set for a plea hearing.
We have a daughter together who I’m now looking after. Originally I work full time whilst my partner is the main carer of our daughter, this being one of the reasons for the false allegation as I’ve been quite jealous of their relationship where I don’t get much time with her because of work. The day he was arrested completely spiralled out of control, I first spoke with a work friend who then called domestic support, who then called police and then a referral to social services was done. Each time I just stuck with my original story of what he had supposedly done to me.
I’ve been placed in refuge with our daughter and now he is only allowed contact with her once a week in a contact centre.
The first week I didn’t even bat an eyelid about me making this all up as I was enjoying the time with my daughter, almost telling myself this was all for the best as that’s exactly what everyone around me has been telling me for the past couple weeks whilst in refuge, the support workers, social worker and the police have all constantly told me I’ve done the right thing by leaving and reporting him and by doing so I have safeguarded our daughter by ensuring she doesn’t have to be around that type of abuse. although I do understand woman need to be listened to in these types of situations it’s scary that a woman can do something like this to a partner and possibly put them in prison for something they haven’t done.
I’m now regretting doing this as I can see how much it has affected our daughter, She’s difficult to settle for bedtime as she isn’t comfortable in her new room amongst other issues. It’s killing me to know I have caused this and I so badly want to rewind time.
I want to retract my original statement but I have no idea what that will then cause, will they even believe me now or will they just think I’m trying to protect him. How will social services react to this, will they see me as an unfit parent or will they take into account that I’m going through some sort of mental health crisis. I’m also assuming they will still want to be involved to ensure everything is ok but I’m worried they will look at options to take her away from me because I made this up. They are currently doing an assessment, checking with my childs teachers, health professionals etc to see if there are any concerns.

There is no previous reports between me and I guess ex-partner (assuming he will want nothing to do with me after all of this, but I’ve not spoken to him because of the bail conditions) to police or any reports to social services before this.
I no I just need to do the right thing and tell the truth but I’m scared what will happen as all I’m told constantly is I’ve done the right thing by leaving and safeguarding my daughter.
Thanks for reading and I hope someone will be able to provide me some guidance.

Dear Big Mistake 2024

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzy, I am an online adviser and will be responding to you today.

You say you made a false domestic abuse allegation against your partner, and you are now living in a Refuge with your daughter. Your partner was arrested and is on Police Bail which states he should not contact you. Your daughter has contact with her father once a week, in a contact centre.

You would like to retract the Statement you made to the police and are seeking advice on what the possible implications are of doing this.
It could be a serious matter if you say you changed your mind because you lied about what happened. The police may charge you with perverting the course of justice or wasting police time – which are both criminal offences.

If you withdraw your statement, the case might still go to court if the police think they have enough evidence to prosecute your partner. If you want to withdraw your statement because you're worried about giving evidence, you should tell the police how you feel.

I am sorry to hear that you and your daughter are struggling to adapt to your new living arrangements. It must have been huge upheaval for you both. It would be a good idea to discuss your concerns about this with the allocated social worker and the Refuge who will be able to support you with this.

You say that children’s services are completing an assessment. I will assume this is a Section 47 child protection enquiry. Please see HERE for further information regarding this type of assessment. Whilst you may wish to retract the statement to the police and the police have no further action, children’s services will continue with their assessment and may remain involved with your family if they assess your daughter as a child in need or a child who has or who is likely to, have suffered significant harm.

I hope you find this information helpful. There are many ways to contact Family Rights Group if you seek further advice in the future :

• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• Online forums where families can receive advice, discuss issues, and find support;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.

Best wishes, Suzie