Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hello, I really need some advice please. I have 3 children (all seperate dads) I am with my youngest’s dad and have been for a year and a half. My youngest is 2 months ago. A few weeks ago a incident occurred at home (completely innocent and accidentally) when my partner got out of bed he flew his arm back with the duvet in his hand and it smashed me on my glasses on my nose. It instantly bled and I felt a lot of pain, I went to hospital and they confirmed I had a slight fracture on the right side. The hospital referred this to the police and SS even after me saying it wasn’t intentional it was a complete accident because there was children in the house at the time.

SS got in touch and said they are doing background checks, my partner has numerous convictions from 4 years ago and longer… I have already seen his charge papers which was shared with me when we first got together. Assault, driving without license & the last one was Arson which sounds severe but it was a kitchen cabinet door only that set a light from a burning fag that lit a tea towel up. Anyway all convictions are from 4 years ago and longer. Nothing since then. Due to this they have decided to do an assessment.

The police got in contact and I went to the station and explained and signed a form to say not pressing charges as was an accident.

The SW has came to the house and said he cannot be at my house to see his daughter unless supervised and cannot stay on the premises untill the assessment is complete.

Since then the SW has said a risk assessment will be done and it will take numerous weeks before he is allocated a long term SW and before the SW can do a risk assessment.

I am in pieces, he has been taken out of our family home due to this and it’s really effecting all of my kids including the 2 that are not his as they are used to him in the house. He has never shouted, argued nothing infront of any of the children at any point and it was a complete accident. I feel he is being punished for his past still. My children are my number 1 priority and so is there safety but is there any advice on what to expect next please? What will they do now?

Thank you

Dear WXDF22

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I am sorry that you are having a difficult time regarding children’s services (new name for social services) involvement with your family following what you describe as an accidental injury your sustained resulting in a fractured nose.

You have been told that your partner is not allowed to be in your home and that a risk assessment if to be carried out by children’s services before he is able to return to the family home. This is causing both you and your children distress.
It appears that the hospital did not consider your injury to be accidental and it may be that they took the view that a simple action of moving an arm with a duvet would not cause the kind of injury you received which included a fracture. A referral was made to children’s services.

Here is information from our website related to the procedure followed when children’s services receive a referral. As part of their enquiries, children’s services found out that your partner has a violent past with convictions. They decided that a risk assessment is necessary. A risk assessment means using a risk assessment tool to work with the person in question and is likely to include questions about past behaviour and reason behind it. You should ask the social worker to explain the type of risk assessment that is going to be done and the expertise of the person to carry out the assessment. Your partner can be proactive in asking these questions himself.

I think the view may be that you are a victim of domestic abuse despite you making it clear that the incident was purely accidental. Domestic abuse is taken very seriously by children’s services because of the impact it has on children’s emotional wellbeing. Children do not have to witness actual abuse it is enough that they live in an environment where this happens.

As your children are, as you say your priority, there is an expectation from children’s that you will put their needs first and in doing so, you will be a protective parent. As your partner is the father of your youngest child, he can ask to have supervised contact this can include your other children if you and their fathers agree. As his child is still very young it is important for him to maintain his bond with his child.

You should engage with children’s services and work with the social worker in a positive way to get the best outcome for you and your family. Here is a link to the GUIDEon website related to working with social workers.

There is information HERE about domestic abuse and you may want to contact a domestic abuse service for more information and support. I understand that the incident was an accident, but it may be helpful for you to do so, as you taking proactive action to keep your children and yourself safe.

Your partner can speak to children’s services himself regarding what he needs to do and know for children’s services to consider him safe. He can ask about the risk assessment, what work they expect him to do if anything.

Should you wish to speak with one of our experienced advisers, you can telephone our advice line o 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)

Hope you will find this information useful.

Best wishes

Suzie