Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

About a week ago I was called by my son's school to say that my son had said that My husband had poped him upon looking on him. He had a peased bruise on his arm. I was then cornered into the office and told that my son had now elaborated and said that daddy hits me and daddy hits mummy. I was told that mean my son were not allowed to go home. So we are staying at my grandparents. We was uncalled to the hospital for a medical check to which the Doctor said they cannot say whether it was accidental or non accidental. Since then, we have both been interviewed. My son has been seen in school and we are waiting for his medical history. However, my son is telling me completely different things. To when he is being confronted within the school setting. I feel like the squall is pushing him to say things because certain things are cropping up. Never heard of before. I just need help because it seems to not be going in our favour. I'm not sure what I can do.

Dear Cutesycarnival,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ forum. My name is Suzie, and I am an online adviser replying to your post today. I am sorry to hear about the stressful time you are having.

You write that following a referral from your son’s school to children’s services about a bruise on your son’s arm your son spoke to a professional and told them that his father hit his mother and hit him also. You have been asked to stay with your son at your grandparents, as a safety plan, while children’s services continue child protection enquiries.
At a child protection medical examination, a doctor was unable to conclude whether the mark on your son had been caused by an accident or non-accidentally. You and your son’s father have both been interviewed. You do not say whether these interviews were with police or social workers, or with both agencies. You are waiting for the professionals involved to have access to your son’s medical history which may provide a fuller picture.

You are concerned that your son says different things in different settings. It is true that children can become stressed when they are talking to people they do not know as well as their own family members, but children’s services task is to help him stay calm and feel able to talk openly. The best thing that you and your son’s father can do is to work with the professionals involved; to be open in response to their questions yourselves and encourage your child to do the same. Your son could be feeling overwhelmed by recent events, and you could simply reassure him that he can talk to the professionals about what has happened, from his own point of view, and that you will always support him as his parents.

You will find the Family Rights Group web pages on child protection investigations helpful here. Also the guide to working with social workers here is useful in thinking through how to best communicate while under stress and have your voice heard.

Please also see our web page for mothers here. This page links to information on many issues that social workers could be concerned about and gives advice for mothers on how to best to engage and find the right support. If a family has been having difficulties of any kind children’s services can be reassured if they feel these issues can be discussed and that they can work with the family on any support needed for the child to remain safely at home.

I hope this information was useful to you.

There are many different ways to contact Family Rights Group if you seek further advice in the future:

• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• Online forums where families can receive advice, discuss issues, and find support;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.


Best wishes,
Suzie

Does your partner hit you? Only you know if he does or does not. What ever the answer, tell them in no uncertain terms.