Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hi my children (6&8) got removed in feb 2024, placed in long term care in august 2024 because of a deterioration in my mental health after loosing my partner, the kids dad.
I’ve put my all into getting myself well this past year and I’m now at the stage of going back to court to try and discharge the care order.
All concerns have been addressed I no longer drink alcohol and have been abstinent for over a year, I no longer use diazepam (I was over using them) I’m discharged from secondary care because of my ‘significant recovery in my mental health journey’, my mixed anxiety and depressive disorder is ‘in remission’. I’ve done a total of 17 courses around my mental health and parenting skills including the triple p parenting program, I’m doing DBT therapy and EMDR therapy (both recommended by the Psycological assessor), I’ve done 7months of bereavement councilling. I no longer have carers and have been discharged by adult social care because of my progress .
I’ve got letters, certificates and reports from professionals evidencing my progress.
I’m currently doing a level 3 health and social care course to help towards gaining employment.
All my councilling/courses/therapy has been done privately and funded by myself.
My situation has significantly changed since the care order was put in place and I’ve had a long period of stability off my medication so I’m also no longer reliant on medication.
My children want to come home and aren’t settled in foster care, they cry most nights for me because they miss me but are being told by the foster carers that it doesn’t matter if they miss me, and my daughters said that the foster carers been being harsh with her over silly things like she didn’t want to eat seeds for breakfast!
Breaks my heart knowing she’s unhappy but social services willl say they’re happy and thriving!
I need to get them home, I know my kids and they are both withdrawn and flat.
I’ve worked so hard to get my mental health into remission for my children and I’ve finally got there.
I’ve asked the social worker about a reunification assessment but she said it’s not something they’ll consider until 12-18months have passed, that’s another 6-12months away.
Would taking it to court myself in June (after my therapy’s complete) be wise or shall I wait to see if social services will agree for them to come home?
There’s only 2months in it when I want to take it to court and when they’ll consider it so I’m hoping if I take it back to court myself they might support me rather than oppose anyway.
even if it’s a supervision order, I’d be happy with that aslong as they get to come home

Dear Lilypad

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser at Family Rights Group and will be replying to you today.

Your children were removed from your care in 2024 and placed in long term foster care. This was due to deterioration in your mental health and alcohol use following the death of your partner, the children’s father.

You have worked really hard to address the risks identified during care proceedings. You have shown determination and grit to make the changes, and it is to your credit that that you have achieved this through meeting most of the costs yourself.

You are seeking the return of your children. You say they are not settled in their foster carers home, and you have some concerns about how the foster carers supports and cares for your children.

You have approached the local authority to discuss a reunification plan with them, but the social worker has informed you that this is not something they will consider until at least 12-18 months have passed. You are seeking advice on whether you should make the application now, without children’s services support, or to wait for a few months and then approach them again in the hope that they will then support your application. You are aware of Supervision Orders and are willing to accept one if it means your children can return to your care.

I think the social workers response to your request seems reasonable at this point. You have made steady progress, and part of what the courts will be considering is whether you can maintain this over a sustain period therefore it seems sensible to wait for 12 months post order.

In the meantime, I suggest you think about increasing family time with the children. You do not say what type and level of contact you are having with your children now, but working towards increasing this would be a good indication of your ability to evidence you are a safe and reliable parent and that the children are happy and safe in your care.

For example, if your family time is supervised, I would suggest you work with children’s services to move to unsupervised. If it is in a contact centre, then I suggest you work with children’s services to move family time out in the community. The longer term aim being that the children move to having family time at your home and eventually overnight staying contact. This will 'test out' the reunification plan which you can then present to the court.

Often when courts review orders for children they will take into consideration the type and level of contact taking place. It would also be a good idea to seek the Independent Reviewing Officer’s (IRO) views on this and your application to discharge the orders. The IRO is responsible for the children’s care plans and therefore I would advise you to include them in your discussions with children’s services.

If contact is already this, then, on balance I would still suggest you try to work with children’s services to seek their support when discharging the care order. However, you do not need their permission to make the application. I have listed below some links to further information and guidance regarding this process.

If your application is not successful, then I would advise you to listen carefully to the court’s reasoning and why they have made this decision at this time. For example, what do they say are the continued risk factors? What needs to change or to be evidence over a longer period? Or if the courts feel returning the children home will be destabilising for them, is there any work that can be done to reduce this?

It would be a good idea to seek the advice of a solicitor before you make your application. I have added a link HERE who have a facility to search for a solicitor in your local area. You can also seek information and advice from Child Law Advice .They have a a facility to book a phone call for legal advice and charge a small fee for this service. Please see their website for further details.

Before making an application to discharge a care order you will need to ask the court permission to do so. Please see the link HERE
for further information and guidance regarding his process.

Please see HERE for further information and guidance when discharging a care order.

You do not say how old your children are, depending on their age children’s services should help them to have access to an independent visitor (advocate). They are independent of the social worker (even if children’s services organise for them to come and help). I have added a link HERE to NYAS. This is the National Youth Advocacy Service. They have further information and guidance regarding the type and level of support they provide to vulnerable children.

If you have concerns about the foster carers, I would suggest you raise this with the allocated social worker and the independent reviewing officer (IRO).Foster carers have
national minimum standards
that they must meet and they too have an allocated supervising social worker whose role it is to make sure they are meeting those standards and to identify any gaps in their care of vulnerable children. As stated above, the IRO is responsible for ensuring the care plan meets your children's needs and to raise and address any issues with the home they are living in.

You may also find this organisation helpful. Match Mothers offers non-judgmental support and information to mothers apart from their children in a wide variety of circumstances. This is their support line number: O800 689 4104. It is free and confidential. Please refer to their website for operating times.

I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please check out our website for further information and guidance.

Best wishes, Suzie