Social Worker and Bias and advice for father allowing me my children
Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2025 7:57 pm
Over the past 12 months, my family has had four different social workers, which has created delays, confusion, and inconsistency in the support and assessments we have received. Throughout this time, I have also experienced bias, inaccurate reporting, and a lack of updated risk assessments relevant to my current circumstances.
False information and reports: At one point, incorrect information was passed on to the police, resulting in unnecessary reports being made. These were later closed with "No Further Action" after my son admitted that he had not told the truth. Despite this, the initial impact of such reports was extremely distressing and damaging.
Failure to update risk assessments: The assessments still reflect risks from a previous period of domestic abuse and from when I lived in my former property which had some damage I couldn't repair fully due to structural damage. They do not take into account the positive changes in my circumstances, including leaving that environment and actively seeking support for myself and my children. One social worker even visited my new home and described it as “beautiful and well set up for the children.” However, this positive observation was never included in the official notes or assessments, which I feel shows clear bias in the recording of information.
Incidents with my son: On one occasion, my son sustained a severely bruised ear while in his father’s care. His father attempted to shift blame onto me, but my son’s school supported my account. Despite this, the incident was not fully or fairly acknowledged in the social work records. My youngest kept falling due a bilateral turn which I got investigated and has to wear a wedge insole to support in correction but this was initially judged as abuse hasn't been reflected in reports either.
Victim-blaming for domestic abuse: I was made to feel responsible for not safeguarding my children, despite the fact that I was manipulated and coerced into believing that if I left my ex-partner, he would take the children from me. My ex has parental responsibility, and I was led to believe there would be nothing I could do. This coercion and fear played a huge part in the difficulties I faced, but instead of recognising this, I was treated as though I was to blame.
Drug test concerns: I was told my test was “positive”, which I have since proved to be inaccurate. The result was explained by prescribed medication (Elvanse), which is a stimulant, and by the nature of my work in substance misuse, where passive inhalation and surface contact with residue can occur and be absorbed through the skin. Despite clarifying this with professional evidence, it was still held against me. In contrast, my ex-partner was arrested for drug possession and admitted to taking drugs in August 2024, yet he was not required to complete a drugs test. This discrepancy feels biased and unfair.
Mental health support: When I was honest with Social Services about the effect all of this was having on my mental health, I was told that this “poses a risk to my children.” (Despite my ex who had a mini breakdown and misused substances - that didn't pose any risk apparently) I have since spoken to my GP and have been referred and now placed on a counselling waiting list to ensure I have the right support in place, but my willingness to seek help was framed negatively rather than positively.
Current contact situation: Despite the above, I have been told that I can only see my children in a supervised contact centre (by father). Meanwhile, their father - who has a criminal record for violence and a recent history of drug use - claims he is the “victim” and requires safeguarding from me. This feels deeply unfair and does not reflect the reality of our situation.
any advice would be greatly appreciated
False information and reports: At one point, incorrect information was passed on to the police, resulting in unnecessary reports being made. These were later closed with "No Further Action" after my son admitted that he had not told the truth. Despite this, the initial impact of such reports was extremely distressing and damaging.
Failure to update risk assessments: The assessments still reflect risks from a previous period of domestic abuse and from when I lived in my former property which had some damage I couldn't repair fully due to structural damage. They do not take into account the positive changes in my circumstances, including leaving that environment and actively seeking support for myself and my children. One social worker even visited my new home and described it as “beautiful and well set up for the children.” However, this positive observation was never included in the official notes or assessments, which I feel shows clear bias in the recording of information.
Incidents with my son: On one occasion, my son sustained a severely bruised ear while in his father’s care. His father attempted to shift blame onto me, but my son’s school supported my account. Despite this, the incident was not fully or fairly acknowledged in the social work records. My youngest kept falling due a bilateral turn which I got investigated and has to wear a wedge insole to support in correction but this was initially judged as abuse hasn't been reflected in reports either.
Victim-blaming for domestic abuse: I was made to feel responsible for not safeguarding my children, despite the fact that I was manipulated and coerced into believing that if I left my ex-partner, he would take the children from me. My ex has parental responsibility, and I was led to believe there would be nothing I could do. This coercion and fear played a huge part in the difficulties I faced, but instead of recognising this, I was treated as though I was to blame.
Drug test concerns: I was told my test was “positive”, which I have since proved to be inaccurate. The result was explained by prescribed medication (Elvanse), which is a stimulant, and by the nature of my work in substance misuse, where passive inhalation and surface contact with residue can occur and be absorbed through the skin. Despite clarifying this with professional evidence, it was still held against me. In contrast, my ex-partner was arrested for drug possession and admitted to taking drugs in August 2024, yet he was not required to complete a drugs test. This discrepancy feels biased and unfair.
Mental health support: When I was honest with Social Services about the effect all of this was having on my mental health, I was told that this “poses a risk to my children.” (Despite my ex who had a mini breakdown and misused substances - that didn't pose any risk apparently) I have since spoken to my GP and have been referred and now placed on a counselling waiting list to ensure I have the right support in place, but my willingness to seek help was framed negatively rather than positively.
Current contact situation: Despite the above, I have been told that I can only see my children in a supervised contact centre (by father). Meanwhile, their father - who has a criminal record for violence and a recent history of drug use - claims he is the “victim” and requires safeguarding from me. This feels deeply unfair and does not reflect the reality of our situation.
any advice would be greatly appreciated