Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Posted: **Sun Nov 09, 2025 3:20 pm**

Hello im looking for some advice I was using crack when ss got involved they did a hair strand test amd said they needed to see a decrease in my use which they did them they took me to court and my son g9t put on a interim care order I moved in with my mum for 2 months and got clean I then agreed to go to a mother and baby detox centre for 3mths I past the parenting assessment I was promised wrap ard care when I came out it didnt happen I stayed clean for 5 1/2 mths the day I came out of court I relapsed for 6 wks when the sw came i told her I had been using asked for help and agreed for them to take my son whilst I got clean
We went bk to court I had a hair strand test which decreased by half in 2 mths they applied for a care order with the understanding my parents were taking him on a sgo but they own their own property which u cant live there if ur under 45 have children and only allowed someone to stay 28 in one go when we were in court the order was for my parents to sell the property which the judge appreciated it goi g take time for me to see him once a wk at my parents amd keep me up to date
My parents haven't been able to sell yet and ss basically said to my parents if they dont rent somewhere he will be put up for adoption so my mum agreed because she was scared but they are not willing to do that and shouldn't have to especially as the judge knew it would take time they havenr let me see him at my mums since then and haven't kept me updated
As soon as I told them I was using and asked for help they treated me like a enemy and only have co tact with my mum
I have been clean 6mths with random drug testing in that time done 6 mth course with wawy charity for addicts I do na have sponsor do step work and meetings
I am just looking into what course I wa.y to do at college and appyling f9r volunteering in detox centres and wawy charity
My house has been completely redecorated new carpets furniture
My counsellor has signed me off
I have seen him 2 days a wk at a contact centre on time and turned up to every session with outstanding feed back
He has been moved to a long term foster placement where he can stay at until this is sorted
I want to take it bk to court to get a hair strand test and get the care order removed but they say it needs to be a year
Can you please help me I am worried they are going to try take me bk to court for adoption if my mum cant take him
Thank you

Posted: **Mon Nov 10, 2025 10:55 am**

Hi ML51616,

I’ve just read your post, and first, I want to say how proud you should be of what you’ve achieved. You have done the hardest thing anyone can do faced addiction honestly, sought help, stayed clean, rebuilt your life, and shown up for your child. That is strength, and it matters, remember that!

Your story is also a clear example of how the system punishes the very qualities it claims to value, honesty, insight, and change. The way you have been treated since admitting relapse and asking for help is unacceptable. You were open and responsible, and instead of supporting you, they treated you as a threat. That is not safeguarding, that is institutional betrayal.

Let’s look at this clearly and strategically so I can offer you some help

1. The Local Authority’s Failings

A. Coercion of Your Parents
The demand that your parents must “rent somewhere or your son will be put up for adoption” directly contradicts what was said in court. The judge acknowledged that the property sale would take time. For the LA to now threaten adoption is coercive and potentially unlawful. They are overriding a court-recognised care plan.

B. Punishment for Honesty
You came forward voluntarily, admitted relapse, and sought help. That is what a protective, insightful parent does. By cutting off your contact and isolating your son, they are punishing transparency instead of recognising rehabilitation. This behaviour will not look good in court once properly documented.

2. Your Legal Position: You Have Rights

They are wrong to tell you that you “have to wait a year” before applying to discharge the Care Order. Under Section 39 of the Children Act 1989, you can apply to discharge the order at any time if there has been a significant change in circumstances.

You have that change:

Six months of verified sobriety

Completion of a structured addiction recovery programme

Regular attendance at NA with a sponsor

Positive, consistent contact feedback

A stable home environment and counselling sign-off

That is more than enough to justify an early application or, at minimum, a formal review.

3. Your Action Plan moving forward form right now

A. Send a Formal Challenge Email
Send this to your social worker, their team manager, and your solicitor:
------------------------------
Subject: Formal Request for Review of Care Plan and Challenge to SGO Coercion – [Child’s Name]

Dear [Social Worker’s Name] and [Team Manager’s Name],

I am writing to formally request an urgent review of the current care plan for my son, [Child’s Name], and to raise a concern regarding recent actions that appear to contradict the court’s understanding.

1. Significant Change in Circumstances:
I have now maintained verified sobriety for six months with regular negative drug tests, completed a six-month recovery programme with the WAWY charity, attend NA with a sponsor, and have been signed off by my counsellor. My contact with my son has been consistent and positive, with excellent feedback from the contact centre. My home has been fully redecorated and is ready for my son’s return.

2. Coercion and Contact Issues:
The court accepted that the sale of my parents’ property would take time. I am deeply concerned that my parents were told that unless they rented another property immediately, my son would be placed for adoption. This contradicts the court’s understanding and constitutes undue pressure.
Furthermore, the decision to stop my contact at my parents’ home has caused unnecessary distress and is inconsistent with the agreed plan.

Given my sustained progress and the above concerns, I request:

A formal review of the current care plan.

A new hair strand test to evidence my continued sobriety.

Written clarification of the Local Authority’s current position regarding placement and adoption plans.

I am working positively and transparently and wish to ensure this case reflects my current stability and progress.

Kind regards,
[Your Full Name]
-------------------------
B. Begin Preparation for Discharge Application
Keep building your portfolio:

Certificates, test results, NA attendance proof

Letters from WAWY, counsellor, or key workers

Photos and documents showing home stability

Character references from professionals or volunteers

This portfolio becomes the foundation of your discharge application or any challenge to the LA’s decisions.

4. Your Next Legal Step

Contact your solicitor (you should still qualify for legal aid) and ask about at the first conversation

Filing an application to discharge the Care Order (s.39), or

Applying for a Child Arrangements Order to increase contact and ensure compliance with the original court plan.

You can also request a Legal Planning Meeting if adoption is being discussed, this forces the LA to justify their actions on record.

5. Final Thoughts

You have done everything right. OK you relapsed but you took responsibility, asked for help, and rebuilt your life. The system should be rewarding that courage, not threatening you with the loss of your child.

===========
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.

Please note: The forum admins have now restricted me to two public posts per week, so I cannot reply to everyone. If you need more advice or help, please send me a Direct Message (DM) by clicking the speech bubble next to my name.

Posted: **Wed Nov 12, 2025 6:53 pm**

Winter25 wrote: Mon Nov 10, 2025 10:55 am Hi ML51616,

I’ve just read your post, and first, I want to say how proud you should be of what you’ve achieved. You have done the hardest thing anyone can do faced addiction honestly, sought help, stayed clean, rebuilt your life, and shown up for your child. That is strength, and it matters, remember that!

Your story is also a clear example of how the system punishes the very qualities it claims to value, honesty, insight, and change. The way you have been treated since admitting relapse and asking for help is unacceptable. You were open and responsible, and instead of supporting you, they treated you as a threat. That is not safeguarding, that is institutional betrayal.

Let’s look at this clearly and strategically so I can offer you some help

1. The Local Authority’s Failings

A. Coercion of Your Parents
The demand that your parents must “rent somewhere or your son will be put up for adoption” directly contradicts what was said in court. The judge acknowledged that the property sale would take time. For the LA to now threaten adoption is coercive and potentially unlawful. They are overriding a court-recognised care plan.

B. Punishment for Honesty
You came forward voluntarily, admitted relapse, and sought help. That is what a protective, insightful parent does. By cutting off your contact and isolating your son, they are punishing transparency instead of recognising rehabilitation. This behaviour will not look good in court once properly documented.

2. Your Legal Position: You Have Rights

They are wrong to tell you that you “have to wait a year” before applying to discharge the Care Order. Under Section 39 of the Children Act 1989, you can apply to discharge the order at any time if there has been a significant change in circumstances.

You have that change:

Six months of verified sobriety

Completion of a structured addiction recovery programme

Regular attendance at NA with a sponsor

Positive, consistent contact feedback

A stable home environment and counselling sign-off

That is more than enough to justify an early application or, at minimum, a formal review.

3. Your Action Plan moving forward form right now

A. Send a Formal Challenge Email
Send this to your social worker, their team manager, and your solicitor:
------------------------------
Subject: Formal Request for Review of Care Plan and Challenge to SGO Coercion – [Child’s Name]

Dear [Social Worker’s Name] and [Team Manager’s Name],

I am writing to formally request an urgent review of the current care plan for my son, [Child’s Name], and to raise a concern regarding recent actions that appear to contradict the court’s understanding.

1. Significant Change in Circumstances:
I have now maintained verified sobriety for six months with regular negative drug tests, completed a six-month recovery programme with the WAWY charity, attend NA with a sponsor, and have been signed off by my counsellor. My contact with my son has been consistent and positive, with excellent feedback from the contact centre. My home has been fully redecorated and is ready for my son’s return.

2. Coercion and Contact Issues:
The court accepted that the sale of my parents’ property would take time. I am deeply concerned that my parents were told that unless they rented another property immediately, my son would be placed for adoption. This contradicts the court’s understanding and constitutes undue pressure.
Furthermore, the decision to stop my contact at my parents’ home has caused unnecessary distress and is inconsistent with the agreed plan.

Given my sustained progress and the above concerns, I request:

A formal review of the current care plan.

A new hair strand test to evidence my continued sobriety.

Written clarification of the Local Authority’s current position regarding placement and adoption plans.

I am working positively and transparently and wish to ensure this case reflects my current stability and progress.

Kind regards,
[Your Full Name]
-------------------------
B. Begin Preparation for Discharge Application
Keep building your portfolio:

Certificates, test results, NA attendance proof

Letters from WAWY, counsellor, or key workers

Photos and documents showing home stability

Character references from professionals or volunteers

This portfolio becomes the foundation of your discharge application or any challenge to the LA’s decisions.

4. Your Next Legal Step

Contact your solicitor (you should still qualify for legal aid) and ask about at the first conversation

Filing an application to discharge the Care Order (s.39), or

Applying for a Child Arrangements Order to increase contact and ensure compliance with the original court plan.

You can also request a Legal Planning Meeting if adoption is being discussed, this forces the LA to justify their actions on record.

5. Final Thoughts

You have done everything right. OK you relapsed but you took responsibility, asked for help, and rebuilt your life. The system should be rewarding that courage, not threatening you with the loss of your child.

===========
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.

Please note: The forum admins have now restricted me to two public posts per week, so I cannot reply to everyone. If you need more advice or help, please send me a Direct Message (DM) by clicking the speech bubble next to my name.

Thank u for all u help u have been amazing x

Posted: **Thu Nov 13, 2025 9:58 am**

ML51616 wrote: Sun Nov 09, 2025 3:20 pm Hello im looking for some advice I was using crack when ss got involved they did a hair strand test amd said they needed to see a decrease in my use which they did them they took me to court and my son g9t put on a interim care order I moved in with my mum for 2 months and got clean I then agreed to go to a mother and baby detox centre for 3mths I past the parenting assessment I was promised wrap ard care when I came out it didnt happen I stayed clean for 5 1/2 mths the day I came out of court I relapsed for 6 wks when the sw came i told her I had been using asked for help and agreed for them to take my son whilst I got clean
We went bk to court I had a hair strand test which decreased by half in 2 mths they applied for a care order with the understanding my parents were taking him on a sgo but they own their own property which u cant live there if ur under 45 have children and only allowed someone to stay 28 in one go when we were in court the order was for my parents to sell the property which the judge appreciated it goi g take time for me to see him once a wk at my parents amd keep me up to date
My parents haven't been able to sell yet and ss basically said to my parents if they dont rent somewhere he will be put up for adoption so my mum agreed because she was scared but they are not willing to do that and shouldn't have to especially as the judge knew it would take time they havenr let me see him at my mums since then and haven't kept me updated
As soon as I told them I was using and asked for help they treated me like a enemy and only have co tact with my mum
I have been clean 6mths with random drug testing in that time done 6 mth course with wawy charity for addicts I do na have sponsor do step work and meetings
I am just looking into what course I wa.y to do at college and appyling f9r volunteering in detox centres and wawy charity
My house has been completely redecorated new carpets furniture
My counsellor has signed me off
I have seen him 2 days a wk at a contact centre on time and turned up to every session with outstanding feed back
He has been moved to a long term foster placement where he can stay at until this is sorted
I want to take it bk to court to get a hair strand test and get the care order removed but they say it needs to be a year
Can you please help me I am worried they are going to try take me bk to court for adoption if my mum cant take him
Thank you

Dear ML51616,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ forum. I am Suzie, a Family Rights Group online adviser responding to you today.

Congratulations on your continuing abstinence and recovery. You are clearly a hard-working, determined and persistent parent to have made such significant changes.

I am sorry to hear that you felt ‘treated like the enemy’ by children’s services after your relapse.
You explain that when the local authority applied for a care order for your son, their long-term position was for your parents to become special guardians to him. However, as they live in accommodation for older adults there were practical problems with this plan, and the court recognised that they needed time to address these.

You do not say whether the special guardianship was made at the end of the care proceedings or whether instead, the court placed your son on a care order with the understanding that your parents were going to apply for a special guardianship order when they had found accommodation where they could live together with your son in the future.

My best guess is that the court gave the local authority a care order at the end of proceedings and your son was living with grandparents as his kinship foster carers. You explain that your son has now been moved to a long-term foster placement and you see him at a contact centre x 2 a week and this contact is going well.

I want to first address your anxiety about adoption. To make a placement order (placement for adoption) a court must be satisfied that ‘nothing else will do.’
I’m not sure from the details in your post if children’s services are still hoping for your parents to become special guardians – but your main question focuses on how the care order could be ended now that you have made significant changes, so I will address that.

An application to end the order could be brought by yourself or by the local authority. You write ‘they say it needs to be a year’. While there is no legal curb to you bringing an application to end the order – this could mean that children’s services’ view is that they want to ensure that you sustain the changes over a longer time before they are fully reassured that your son can safely return to your care.

When a parent makes positive changes, children’s services should review whether a child still needs to be looked after. This question should be asked at every looked after child review. In acknowledgement of all your changes – children’s services could start working with you on a reunification plan – with goals and time scales agreed between you. You should ask to receive a copy of your children’s services reunification policy.

If all remains positive and children’s services agree that a child could return to a parent’s care they can make the application to court to discharge the care order. Sometimes children remain on a care order but live at home with a parent.

Another way that a care order can be ended is for you as a parent making an application to court to discharge it. You would have to show that you have made and sustained significant change and that a move back to your care is in your son’s best interests. It’s important that you gather letters from the agencies that help you and keep a record of the appointments and therapy that you write about.

You can read more about how care orders can be brought to an end here.

Thank you for sharing the good news about your abstinence, successful counselling, lovely new home and volunteering plans. It’s great to read this on thee parents’ forum. I hope that things go well for you and your son from here.

I hope this information was useful to you. Please feel free to post here again if you have further questions.

There are also many alternative ways to contact Family Rights Group if you seek further advice in the future:

• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.
• Complete the advice enquiry form to request an email response within 5 working days

Best wishes,
Suzie

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