Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hi,

I am currently in the middle of a difficult situation. Last March, my husband of ten years was arrested out of the blue for downloading illegal images of children. I've chosen to stick by him, as he has massive mental health issues, and has already demonstrated great remorse. He's put himself through rehabilitation programmes, even before the legal system has finished the charging process. I know it's a choice that most won't understand, but I'm confident it's the right thing.

Social services have been heavily involved, as we have three young daughters. He doesn't reside with us, but visits under a safety plan devised by social services each weekend, which means I have to strictly supervise him. The children are classed as 'children in need', we escaped a child protection conference by a gnat's whisker, they are not classed as "at risk" because (in social services' words), I am a "strong protective factor". I've had the joy of two core assessments now, as we moved out of the area to avoid potential negative press (very small town), both authorities came to the same conclusion.

My husband isn't being charged until Feb 2nd, due to CPS delays, although the police have concluded their investigation, so I know precisely what he's done now. His solicitor thinks he'll probably get a suspended sentence, as there are significant mitigating factors.

My questions are these:

1) Does anyone have experience of this kind of situation?
2) Once the legal process was complete, how long was it before social services finished their involvement?

I've been told (by the social worker), that they will eventually "go away", just wondering what triggers that!?

Thanks in advance

Dear Izzy121,

Welcome to the Parents Forum.
I am so sorry to hear about what has happened. It must have been very difficult and stressful for you as a family.

I am glad that you have passed both assessments and that you have been found to be a strong protective factor. This means that you understand the risks to your daughters and so will put them first before yourself and your husband.

Anyone have experience?

Have you accessed help and support from the following organisations who can advise about this situation in depth and the support that might be available and timescales?
Lucy Faithfull Foundation NSPCC


There are a number of posters on this website who have been in the same predicament as you with different outcomes as well.
And you could try searching “Lucy” in our search section at the top right hand corner of the forum. I have often referred posters to the Lucy Faithfull Foundation when children’s services are worried about child sexual abuse.
You will then be able to read the threads.

When will children services go away?
At the moment they are involved under a child in need plan because you are both cooperating with them and your children are protected.

I would expect specialised risk assessments to take place to assess your husbands risk to your children. A lot will depend on when these assessments will take place and the outcome. The Lucy Faithfull Foundation can advise you further about these assessments.

The worst case scenario would be that your husband is assessed as remaining at risk even after he has accessed all the support that has been offered. The question then would be-will he be allowed to return home or not?

If he is, will you be safe to monitor him? So for example, he may not be allowed to be involved in the girls personal care.

If your husband was deemed too risky to come home then you would have to decide what to do. Because of this, children services could be around for a while.
Why don’t you call the Lucy Faithfull foundation and why don’t you discuss timescales with the social worker.

If you have any questions or need further advice, please post back.

Best wishes,

Suzie

Hi Izzy,
I am in the exactly same situation as you, my husband won't be charged until 8 Feb, we are separated now, but my baby boy is just over 1 month, I was so stressed by this situation, the social service haven't done any assessment on me yet. Hope the social service can go away soon for you! Good luck !

Dear hjd,

Welcome to the parents forum and thank you for your support.

Suzie

Hi,
I was in a similar situation and CS became involved with my family in 2008 and I was finally signed off in 2014, CS will expect you to attend courses accept the risk posed and of course protect your children from any future harm.

In my experience everything changed once charges were brought and that when care proceedings began against me. Of course this depends on the charges the level of images on the copine scale is a big factor and number of images, other factors will be taken into consideration such as your relationship with CS and your children's Social Worker how the perpetrator has behaved during the time of arrest and charging, have they fully cooperated with CS and the police, have they fully accepted blame, and of course any risk of future offending. Every case is different and I can only draw on my personal experience but what you may discover over the next few weeks is that CS have been assessing your capacity to protect your children from the moment they contacted you.

Good luck