Is this a good or bad idea?

[Aunty Lucy]

Most of you know my problems with the nutty Aunt, if you don't well I have PR and RO for my nephew, both his parents are dead so I'm the only one with PR, the Nutty aunt doesn't seem to like this and makes a point of going completely against me whenever she can. See my previous posts for examples. However, the things she does only hurt our nephew. I'm sick of him being hurt because she has a problem with me. i think I've done all I can, I've seen a solicitor, I've had him in counselling, I've spoken to school, seen the doctor done everything in my power to protect him.
But still she keeps on doing her own thing and trampling all over his life.

I want to ask her to meet with me somewhere neutral and just the two of us, to discuss how much harm she's doing and where we go from here.
For example she thinks she's being kind to him giving him on average

[yogibear]

Personally I'd want an independent professional there, some sort of mediation service perhaps?

Of all the things I've lost. I miss my mind the most.

[Aunty Lucy]

quote:Originally posted by yogibear

Personally I'd want an independent professional there, some sort of mediation service perhaps?

Of all the things I've lost. I miss my mind the most.


In an ideal world so would I, but no professionals are interseted in us!
I can't get anyone to get involved, and I really don't want a life time of SS involvement to be honest.

[Help 1870]

Id say bad idea, unless as yogibear says you have someone independent with you.

Have you dont a googlesearch for mediation services in your area? You may be able to self refer.

[Robin D]

Look at the Family Mediation Help Line . Or you could call SS and ask if they have a mediation service you could use.

Robin



Grandparent carer in Suffolk [:)]

[fatcat]

do not under any circumstances meet with this woman on your own. your own experience tells you that she would use this to twist and turn everything you say.

however, mediation would be a useful avenue to explore. somebody independent to help you both to hear each other out, and also ammunition for you. if nutty aunt tries to take things to court, you will be able to evidence the fact that you have bent over backwards to try and work with her constructively and that you arranged for mediation, and that it was aunt who did not work with it.

no court willtake her seriously if they know that she has not worked with the mediation process first.

[Aunty Lucy]

I think SS won't do the mediation because we live too far apart (well, not far enough for me, but you know what I mean!)
I'll give them a ring though and see what they say.

[old bear]

hi lucy,
i love this site. i read your post, i begin to scream "NO", i read everyone else telling you "no".
but perhaps robin's mediation helpline can help?

but before you begin, what do you hope to gain by this meeting?
the nutty one (TNO) has proved many times that she's neither going to listen to reason nor change her behaviour. she's not called THE NUTTY ONE for nothing! all she will do is upset you at the meeting, and then upset you again when she goes exactly against what you've asked and carefully explained is best for nephew.
it may not be fair, but the sad truth is that your nephew will have to learn to deal with TNO himself ~ now while he's young and in your care, and later as he gets older and has less of your protection.
also, sadly, it is ultimately your nephew who will have to learn to deal with his comfort eating. he is at an age where your role is more guidance than, say, "accidentally" dropping the bag of junk food TNO has given him into a puddle ~ "whoops, sorry".

i think your energy would probably be better used in guiding nephew towards better use of his