Early stages - Case Conference - Urgent update

[worriednan]

I haven't been on for a while but things have progressed in respect of the many problems with my daughter and my grandson. She has been diagnosed with a personality disorder and is now under the care of mental health.

Social Services are now heavily involved following another police intervention. Finally they are taking my concerns seriously and after several visits to my daughter have decided to go down the Child Protection route. A case conference is now being arranged.

I was involved in their assessment meeting and they want me to have g/s at weekends and to share the upbringing of baby.

Birth father is not on birth certificate but has suddenly decided that he wants to apply to the courts for parental responsibility which would mean that s/s would consider him over me should the need arise to remove g/s from his mother. S/S have stated that I could also apply for the same. Has anyone done this, what is the procedure and do I need a solicitor etc.

Any comments would be gratefully received.

[divadi2000]

Does the Father of the child see him regular or has he just appeared in the childs life? as he needs to prove that he will step up to the mark I think you should get some advice from a solicitor, some give first half hour free you need their advice on where you stand in all this Good Luck!

[worriednan]

The father has been in and out of g/s life and hasn't supported him financially. It's only now that he is showing an interest because he has heard that daughter has been diagnosed by mental health.

I contacted a solicitor about shared parental responsibility and have been told that I am not able to get this without applying for a RO. Daughter is in full agreement with shared responsibility as she has realised just how close she is to losing her son now that SS are arranging a case conference. I think she is now beginning to understand the seriousness of all of this and she wants to make sure that g/s is placed with me.

[nanaJ]

A residence order is the only way you can get parental responsibility as a grandparent carer or of course a Special Guardianship Order. He is very likely to get parental responsibility; it is merely a formality at the present time in family courts.

Before you can apply for a residence order, you will need to apply to the court for leave to apply. Our solicitor submitted these papers together (the RO application and leave to apply).

I don't know whether you are entitled to legal aid, but if not it will be expensive to employ a solicitor. You can self represent and pay the court fees. However, I would definitely discuss this in more depth with a solicitor to explore all your options - this will cost you unfortunately but it is better to be armed with good information and advice to help you consider your situation.

You will no doubt have thought it through and you may have to consider that the father may also apply to have his son, although only you know how realistic this is.

You may need to consider if there is a possibility of a contested hearing which will be very stressful. Are you on speaking terms with him to avoid this possibility and how would social services feel about you applying for a Residence order - would they support you?

[Kate]

Hi again worriednan.

Although I'm sorry your daughter's mental health is no better, I'm glad to hear it's being taken more seriously and that you were included in SS assessment meeting and are a part of their plans for your grandson and the baby. I'm also glad your daughter realises how serious things are and now wants you to have g/s placed with you. Our daughter said all kinds of things about me until it got to the point that she knew she was about to lose g/d and from then on she only wanted her to be with us, and not in care.

It would definitely be worth the free half-hour appt with a solicitor as divadi mentioned, though you would need to find someone with experience in this field. The Grandparents' Society I believe keep a list so that you can look for one in your area on their website. I saw one several years ago about my g/d, and he spent over 1 1/2 hours with me, at no cost, so I was lucky.

I do hope the father doesn't make it difficult for you to get care of g/s. Do you want an RO or SGO? Or, if the father is not considered suitable to have him, would you prefer to have him placed with you as kinship carers, with the financial support that would provide? As the Child Protection route is now being taken by SS, you may be in a position to hold out for becoming kinship carers if you can't afford to take on care of g/son with no support (it can be very hard, if not impossible, to get funding with an RO in many areas)

Wishing you strength and luck - please keep us updated.

[worriednan]

Thank you for your replies, this is why this site is SO important to people like me who have nowhere else to turn at such a difficult time.

I have again spoken to SS about PR and they seem very keen for some reason for me to go for this even though I have explained to them what the solicitor has said, again this has been confirmed by your replies.

I have spoken to SS alot in the last week and I get the impression that they are going to take g/s away from mum for a while as they keep saying that she is doing everything they have told her not to do. They are pushing me to have g/s more and more during the week and at weekends and have suggested that I start taking him to nursery without mum and she is not good for him! I suppose until the case conference its all guess work on my part.

The situation with the birth father is that it was a very volatile and baby has been used to score points between them ever since they split up. Dad will show no interest for months and then decide he wants to see him, a couple of weeks later it all fizzles out again so there has never been any consistency. He admitted that he only wants to go for PR so that SS have to tell him everything that is going on and he will use this information against my daughter. SS know his game and keep telling me that it would be me that they would call in any emergency.

At this point in time I think that I should wait until the case conference to see what SS are up to and what their action plan is before I do anything about a RO. If SS recommend that g/s comes to me then of course I would go for RO or whatever I need to get.

Funnily enough me and daughter are actually working together on this and she is starting to ask questions about what would happen if g/s does come and live with me so I am hoping that this would all be done amicably. But as we all know this could all change!!!!

Thank you again for your replies. I will keep you up to date.

[worriednan]

A bit of an update.

The case conference date is set for next week, she has received a letter advising her that she should take a solicitor with her? I don't really know what to expect or how much a part she or I will be expected to contribute at the meeting.

SW seems very negative about her when she speaks to me so I'm kind of expecting to be taking g/s home with me!

[Robin D]

Re your final comment, I doubt it. A case conference is not a place where a child's future is decided, although it may well have an opinion. The LA may be considering care proceedings, and this may not mean that the child comes to you. Your grandson may go to foster parents! I suspect you want to avoid that if you can so make sure that the chairperson of the case conference is aware that you are ready willing and able to take the child.

Of course if the child is already living with you with Mum's agreement, he is then safe from harm. What I mean by this is that if Mum and you can agree that the child stays with you for say 3 - 6 months initially while Mum does specific measurable things, supported by SS to improve her ability to care for your grandchild, then the case conference would find it very hard to argue that they need to proceed to care proceedings at this point! If after 3 months she has made no improvement, then the child will be settled.

By all means show the meeting that you are prepared to support your daughter but that her needs come second to those of your grandson.

Good luck ....... Robin

Edit: If you haven't already got one, you might find this document useful for explaining the purpose of a case conference. This is for one LA, but they are all very similar. Also FRG's advice sheet 9 from here would be useful reading.

Grandparent carer in Suffolk [:)]

[worriednan]

Hello again.

We had the initial case conference yesterday and as expected g/s was placed on the Child Protection Plan. Probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to sit through, hearing about the neglect and risks he has been put through. There were things I knew nothing about and it is much worse than I had previously thought.

We have a core group meeting next week which I have been asked to attend at which we will hear of all of steps which are to be put into place. It was explained to my daughter that the next step was legal action if she is non compliant. Police background checks are now being done on me and my husband, is this being done because we spend alot of time with him or because they are going to assess us?

So far the father has not taken legal advice and after hearing his criminal record yesterday I don't honestly believe him to be a safe part of g/s life!

I feel relieved that there are now so many agencies involved and that g/s has finally been recognised as being at risk but after hearing the levels of neglect and risk he is at with his mum I am even more scared for his safety.

This is all just so hard, any advice please. Is there anything I should be doing?

[Robin D]

I suspect police checks are being done for two reasons:
As a possible precursor to an assessment or placement with you. Is this a one-off with your daughter or is it a recurring theme with the whole family. I doubt they will vocalise the second, but they do need to ensure that they would not be moving any of the care of the child out of the frying pan and into the fire so to speak.

Other than waiting, the best things you can be doing are
Ensuring you are 'available' for meetings or as otherwise required.Start a diary and write everything down that happens or is said to you. See baby as often as possible so you are building a relationship with him. Think about what changes you would need to make if little one came to you for weekends, longer breaks or permanently. This then forms part of any discussion with SS if the situation with your daughter does not improve. Keep visiting here to let us know how you get on , and for moral support from those that do understand. [;)]

Best wishes ........ Robin

Grandparent carer in Suffolk [:)]