BEING MUM

[mama t]

hi everyone i attended the frg contact conference on the 17th it was a very well thought out day. the young people who spoke were very moving and it was lovely to hear a young person's perspective about contact, "we were so angry we didn't want to see our mother, no one would listen to us" these are powerful statements from such young people i was proud to say these were kinship kids.
there was a statement made by frg's legal rep on the day it was very powerful and it empowered me and hopefully will empower you too.

It was said if i remember rightly that when we are given our legal orders by the judge we become the new mum in all but name for me this has reminded me that i don't have to ask my childrens permission to do things with there children and that i am the one who make the day to day decisions about my grandchildren and we all need to remember this. thankyou frg for a enlightening day.

love n light mama t

mama t
www.whyitsallaboutthem.com

[Kate]

Thanks mama t for feeding this back for those of us who didn't go. You're right, we are the ones who can and should make all the day to day decisions in your g/c's interests, and although we may not be called "mum" we are the ones mothering our little ones.

[Help 1870]

It was a very interesting and informative conference, A little bit uncomfortable for some of us to hear the lengths that some LA's go to to support families particularly over contact issues knowing we get little support, but they showed a very good model and perhaps something all LA's should aim to imitate.

Heres hoping there was much said that makes people think a little more deeply into issues, especially the views of children who are the central point of all of this. I know one professional said he had never even thought of the issues that had been raised.

Thanks FRG for holding the cnference, the information from the contact research makes very good reading.

[David Roth]

Many thanks to everyone who came along and took part and contributed to this event. It really is the participation of those who turn up and take part in the discussions, and let others know about their experiences and their views, that can make all the difference to how these events go. It is always FRG's aim to give people an opportunity at these events to be heard, and we hope that professionals will hear what is being said.

The two young people who spoke did brilliantly and very powerfully, and many people commented upon this in their feedback forms.

I am pleased also to hear about the impact that our legal adviser's comments had upon you, mama t. It can be hard when you are having to deal with the parents of children who have let them down badly.

David R
FRG Policy Adviser

[David Roth]

Just to follow up on the idea of 'being mum'

I spoke to our legal adviser, who was really pleased to hear that her presentation had been so helpful, particularly with if it gave anyone more confidence in asserting their rights to be the one who makes the day to day decisions about the children they are raising.

However, she did ask me to be clear that, while the orders like RO and SGO clearly give you the right to make these day to day decisions, and exercise your parental responsibility to do so, mum will of course always remain mum for any children who are living away from their mother, and you will always need to make sure you take account of that emotional bond in the way you manage contact and their relationship.

David R
FRG Policy Adviser

[Aunty Lucy]

quote:Originally posted by ied53

The advisor was very clear "although you are not Mum and never will be you should act as if you are so the child gets the best protection so if you wouldn't do it for your own then you need to question why and if you should do it for a child in your care"


Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire


amen to that [:)]