contact order

[markdwyer]

Hello can anyone help me, i went to court approximately six months ago and myself and my wife were rewarded residency of my two grandchildren who are aged 7 and 4. We agrred contact in court with my daughters solicitor at every Thursday for 3 hours and sleepover on Friday once per month which could be more if we agreed. As part of the contact my daughters boyfriend is not allowed during the children at any time of the contact at all and has to sleep out on the night of the overnight stay. Last weekend my grandson came home from the overnight contact and was perplexed, when i asked him had he had a good time he said that he thought he heard John in the bedroom at night but his mum said he was dreaming and noone was there. (John is not my daughters boyfriends name) i then asked him what he did the day previous during contact and he said when he left myself and my wife, he went a few streets away and John was waiting for them and they went to laser quest and shopping later then John went home and my daughter and grandchild went home alone and watched tv. I showed my grandchild a photo of my daughters boyfriend and my grandchild said Yes thats John (which as stated previous is not his name). I contacted my daughter about all this and she has denied everything even saying there was noone there during the contact except herslelf and my grandchild. My grandchild though has gone into so much detail about this John even saying they went to a bakery and had to wait for him to get a drink. The problem now is that i have stopped last weeks contact and am worried what the courts view would be on this if she took us back to court. since we have had the residence order we have had no dealings with the social services whatsoever so cant ask them for help. Can someone advise me where to go from here please?

[David Roth]

Hello and welcome to the discussion forum.

Before addressing your query, I would first suggest that you might want to reconsider the username you have chosen for the forum. I don't know if it is your real name, or a pseudonym you have chosen for posting here, but if it is your real name then you need to consider that this forum is open to being read by people who have not registered to post here, so it might be possible to trace you and the child through the name. If you'd like a change of username, please send me an email or private message with the new name you'd like, and I'll arrange for the forum administrators to change it.

If it was stipulated as part of the conditions of the contact taking place that your daughter's boyfriend was not to be present during contact, then it must have been thought that he posed some sort of risk to the grandchildren. Therefore, even if children's services have not been involved since the children were placed with you, it would still be right to alert them to the possibility that your daughter seems to be placing them at risk by having him in the home during their visits. This might involve a new referral to the intake or referral & assessment team (names for this team vary between authorities, but it's the team taking new referrals).

I would also advise you that a contact order is not something that has to be followed even if it puts the children at risk. However, there should be good grounds for not observing the requirements of a contact order. In the long run, if you and your daughter can't agree to changes to the contact arrangements, you may have to go back to court for them to make the change, perhaps to leaving contact at your discretion as to what you judge to be safe for the children.

An option for taking this forward could be to make the referral to children's services, informing your daughter that you have done so, and are suspending her contact while they look into what your grandson is saying. It sounds as though what your grandson said is very clear in your thoughts at the moment. It would be a good idea to write it all down, as fully as possible, while it is still fresh in your mind, as details can fade. It would also be an idea to continue to keep notes while there continues to be these concerns.