Family Rights Group | Kinship carers’ Forum

Hi, we have had temporary care of my partners Granddaughter since around March last year. Mum and Dad were together when child was born but left her regularly with other grandparents whilst they lived their lives. When they separated, child (aged then 18 months) was left with the other Nanny and she continued to look after her even after she separated from the (other) Grandad (she is not a biological grandparent like me). Dad moved onto another girl and mum made little effort to remain in regular contact. We became involved when we realised that the other Nanny had been left to manage on her own. Initially Dad started to have her 5 days whilst living at his new girlfriends and 2 days spent with us, with Mum staying at ours) but after a couple of months it was agreed that the child move in with us but with regular visits with other Nanny (who had been a constant in her life since day 1) and contact with both parents. Lockdown hit and with Social services involvement a 'contract' was eventually drawn up which gave us the interim responsibility to make decisions for the child. All parties signed this. It was also agreed that child could start to transition back to mum or dad (as both said they wanted this) when suitable housing had been sorted. Fast forward 15 months and child has settled with us, she is in nursery three days and spends two days with her other Nanny. She has continued to have contact with both parents but neither has taken any steps to show that they want child back. Now Dad wants other Nanny to have less involvement and ideally doesnt want her to be ivnolved at all. Other Grandad who has only asked to see child 3 times has started to get involved also. We have been encouraged by Social Services to comply with all contact requests so now our Granddaughter is disrupted by so many people who want to see her and take her out. We have asked that this be done slowly given how easily she is unsettled and we have complied with all wishes. Now Dad wants to make all decisions about who she sees and who has contact but he still doesn't want to take on full responsibility. Social Services have said they are comfortable that Dad does this and expect us to continue to act as a Hotel looking after our Granddaughter on the days of the week that he can't and continue to pay for the full nursery costs. We have decided to apply for SGO as nothing in the last 3 1/2 years has shown us that he would be able to continue to give her the time, care, love and attention that she has had with us (and her other Nanny). Social services have implied that they would support the Dad. It is not fair on our Granddaughter that she gets pushed and pulled about each week staying in around 4 different homes. Are we likely to get SGO? We feel that if Dad is wanting to be involved then he should take her completely or not at all. We feel at the moment we are being blackmailed into agreeing with his demands. We don't know where we stand or what we should do but feel we have not had any of our concerns listened to by Social Services. What can or should we do?

Dear luan49

Welcome to the Kinship Carers’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I see from your post that you are very concerned for your partner’s granddaughter and what is best for her long term. You believe she needs to be settled and not moved around or things done in relation to contact arrangements which are not, in your view, in her best interests.

Although children’s services is involved it is unclear what their role is except in respect of contact. There are some things which need to be clarified. Is the child subject to a child in need or child protection plan? Was she placed in her grandfather and your care by children’s services with the agreement of her parents? If she is not a looked after child and there is no plan in place, it is unclear what role children’s services have in what would appear to be a private family arrangement with regard to the child’s care.

Children’s services, even if the child was placed with you and her grandfather, with the parents’ agreement, (which would mean she is a looked after child), do not have parental responsibility for her. Whilst they can make recommendations or suggestions about contact, they do not have the legal right to enforce contact arrangements.

From your post, at present only the parents have parental responsibility and can make decisions regarding their daughter. Her mother automatically has parental responsibility, but her father will only have it if he is on her birth certificate or married to the mother. If father does not parental responsibility, he cannot make decisions about her and it would be the mother who can do so. On the basis that father has parental responsibility, he can decide about contact and where his child lives.

You say that you have applied for a special guardianship order (SGO). This means that it will be the court who will make the final decision whether an order in made in grandfather’s and your favour. The court will consider the report which children’s services will be asked to prepare as well as all the circumstances leading to your granddaughter coming into your care. The court will consider the welfare checklist see link https://frg.org.uk/get-help-and-advice/ ... checklist/.

The parents can oppose your application if they wish but this does not mean they will be successful, the court will make an order which is in the child’s best interest.

Regarding contact, the court can also make orders relating to contact for the parents and grandparents. It appears that you and the maternal grandmother work well together so it may be that you can continue to agree contact with her without any order. You can tell the court what you would like in respect of contact, and this is likely to be covered in the special guardianship assessment.

Please see links below relating to special guardianship from our website. You can also read more information from our website relating to kinship care
https://frg.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2 ... advice.pdf
https://frg.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2 ... al_web.pdf

If you do not have a solicitor, you can contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 for advice or go the Advice Now website for information about representing yourself in court.

I hope you will find this information helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie