Family Rights Group | Kinship carers’ Forum

What can a guardian not do?
I had a child put under a special guardianship order and the guardian has Christened my child without consent and she is very smug about it, is this breaking the order as some of the research says she can’t change her religion but others say she can christen her.
She has also used her last name as the child last name in school, when I order her school photos online it come up as her last name not her dads last name which is what’s on her birth certificate, is this classed as changing her surname, it feels like she is trying to erase every bit of us from her life, I’m planing on getting a lawyer to take this to court but I want to know if I have a case.
one more thing I want to ask is, the last year and a bit the special guardian has been under going cancer treatment stage 3b I think could be 3c but I’m not 100% sure because she doesn’t tell me a lot, I believe she is now in remission. Does this class as the guardian not being in fit enough health to take care of my child, I have noticed a dip in her health and i don’t think she is in fit enough health to look after my child anymore, I can give her a stable and loving home

Hello Mango and welcome here.

You are certainly correct about the surname. The legislation says:
(3)While a special guardianship order is in force with respect to a child, no person may—
(a)cause the child to be known by a new surname; or ........
without either the written consent of every person who has parental responsibility for the child or the leave of the court. Ref: Children Act 1989 Section 14C. I am not aware that has been amended but Suzie, the FRG advisor may come along and give more up to date information. The religion question I believe does not apply to special guardianship, but again I may be wrong.

I suspect you need to get some legal advice on this matter, as indeed you indicate you are considering. Any solicitor on the 'Children Panel' will be able to advise you on the validity of your case, and it's certainly something that I cannot give advise on.

The situation of the guardian's health is also something that could be covered in any potential court application. Please be aware that you have to first apply to the court for 'leave' to make a full application. That is to avoid placements being disrupted by frivolous applications to overturn the order. However, it would appear that unless the court has already dealt with the 'name' issue, you may have good enough reason. However a solicitor is the best source of advice.

Best wishes ... Robin

Hi thank u for getting back to me, it’s good to know that I have a case just for the surname being changed, if the other stuff she has done can be used in court then that’s a bonus, I will be getting a lawyer.

Do u know what other things she can and can’t do for example she has been telling my daughter that she is her mum but i am just her tummy mummy and her friend is this allowed or is this classed as some sort of manipulation

The 'Mum' and 'Dad' issue is much more complex and as far as I am aware is not governed by legislation. You may not want to hear it, but it is usually led by the child. They want to feel they 'belong' We have been 'mum and dad' to many children, some of which were not actually living with us but with whom we were spending a lot of time supporting. That is especially true if there are other children in the household. If the 'carer' objects the child's use of a name, the child sees that as a rejection of them as a person and should be avoided. I always told children coming into the house they could call us what they liked as long it is not rude. It's important that children quickly create a sense of belonging and comfort, even if there is no intention for them to stay permanently. The longest we had a child was 17 years if my memory serves me correctly, the shortest just one night. The latter did not call us anything as she was only 5 months old. I don't keep records of such things, but even friends of children staying overnight would often call us mum or dad as that's what they heard the other children saying. I appreciate that it can be painful for the birth parent, but I also think that the child being comfortable in the placement is more important. In my almost half century of helping children in our home, I have only known three children (siblings) who completely rejected their birth mother, and that sadly was with very good reason that I will not put on a public forum.

It's a bit like I am honorary 'grandad' to children in a school I volunteer at and am often often called that by the children, or told I am like their grandad.

Hopefully that helps you understand a little that it may not be the guardian forcing the issue. If you put yourself in their position for a moment, they cannot tell you that the child is asking to use those names as they will see that as being disloyal to the child in their care.

Best wishes .... Robin

Thank u for getting back to me, i appreciate the honestly and this helps me a lot in understanding things

Is the guardian allowed to stop contact with either of the birth parents or is this not allowed and only the judge can say weather or not they can have contact or not

The guardian can stop contact if they believe it not to be in the best interests of the child, or indeed they have a legal duty to do so if they believe emotional or physical harm is likely. However, if they do, they have to be able to demonstrate to the court, if required, that their decision was carefully considered and reasonable. One mum we dealt with was sometimes very difficult and had mental health issues. We stopped contact while it was in progress on more than one occasion to protect the children from the worst of her behaviour. However, we always tried again at the next contact having had a chat with her without the children present about what we considered to be unacceptable behaviour. That was, until the children concerned refused to go.

If the court has ruled that contact should be on a fixed basis, then clearly it is open to both parties to take the matter back to court to review the frequency and arrangements. However mediation may be a better and easier first step for you.

Ok thank u
Is there anything I can do to improve my chances of getting her back in court, like how do I proof I can look after her, it sounds like a silly question but she is my first child and I never got given a chance to proof myself

A solicitor who is able to look at the case files is better placed to advise you on that, but Special Guardianship is designed to give the child 'permanence' so would normally last until 18. However, significant changes in circumstances can be taken back to court to have the matter looked at again.

Not something I can advise on as I do not know the case history. Clearly there must have been reasons that your child was removed from your care. They will be the things that you need to have thoroughly addressed to have any chance of overturning the order.

I have just realised this whole thread is in the wrong forum as this is aimed at the 'carer'. There is another forum for parents to ask questions. @Suzie the FRG advisor may be be able to sort that out when she is able to read this. My apologies to her for not correcting it right at the beginning.

I still hope that my responses have been helpful to you.

Best wishes .... Robin

Ok thank u for your help

Dear Mango

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser at Family Rights Group. The kinship carers forum is for kinship carers rather than parents. We do have a dedicated parents discussion board, and I would ask you to kindly direct any further post to this board.

You are seeking advice on what a special guardian, who holds a special guardianship order (SGO) can and cannot do in respect of their role. Your child has been Christened without your consent, your child is known by their guardian’s surname at school, you are concerned that the guardian’s ill health is affecting their ability to care for your child and that the guardian is encouraging your child to call her ‘mum.’

Further, you are seeking advice on whether the guardian is allowed to stop contact with you or whether this needs to be agreed by court. You are considering taking the matter back to court but wanted to seek some support and guidance from the forum before making this decision. And lastly, you are seeking advice and guidance on how to improve your chances of your child coming back into your care.

A special guardianship order secures a child’s long-term home with someone who is not their parent. It lasts until the child turns 18. Special guardians gain an enhanced form of parental responsibility. This means they can use their parental responsibility to the exclusion of others. This is explained in section . 14C of the Children Act 1989

The child’s parent(s) keep their parental responsibility after a special guardianship order is made but special guardians can exercise their parental responsibility to the exclusion of anyone else with parental responsibility. This means that although the special guardian should consult with the parents about important decisions relating to the child, the special guardian can make the final decision.

However, there are some restrictions on how a special guardian can use their parental responsibility. They will need written consent of every person who has parental responsibility, or permission of the court to change a child’s surname, take the child outside the UK for a period of more than three months, or allow another person to take the child outside the UK for any period. Also, special guardians cannot consent to the child being adopted or placed for adoption (Children Act 1989).

Changing a child's religion could be interpreted as a significant decision that falls under subsection (2)(a) CA 1989 Section 14C meaning it requires the consent of all with parental responsibility, not just the special guardian. If your child was already/previously raised in a Christian tradition a christening may be seen as part of that upbringing. But if the child is being raised in a different faith or no faith, a christening could be interpreted as a change of religion. If would have been a good idea to have sought your consent, if you declined then the special guardian could have consider making a specific issues application. You may wish to seek advice from a solicitor regarding this. Please see HERE
for a link to The Law Society. They have a facility to find a solicitor in your local area. You will need a child law solicitor, preferably with child law accreditation.

In respect of your child using the special guardian’s surname at school. It may be that your child is being ‘known as’ the person’s surname because of their emotional needs. Perhaps issues around identity are a concern. However, formal documents such as reports and exam results should be created in the surname on their birth certificate., Child Law Advice – Education has helpful information regarding this.

With regard to the special guardianship’s health. If you decide to make an application to court you could raise this as concern, however, many people who experience ill health continue to care for children therefore it will depend on your child’s needs and whether the guardian is able to meet them in the context of her own abilities and that of her support network. I have added a link HERE to information and guidance to discharge a special guardianship order, the process and what you will need to demonstrate for the court to give Leave of Court (permission) to make the application.

I think Robin D gives some sound advice and reasoning for children using ‘mum’ or dad’ when speaking about their special guardians. Whilst it can be difficult and upsetting for birth parents to comprehend, the needs of the child should be paramount and at the forefront of everyone’s thinking.

I have added a link HERE to Matchmothers.org.uk. They are a charity that offers non-judgemental support and information to mothers apart from their children in a wide variety of circumstances. Please do check out their website for further information and details of the opening times of their support line.

When there is a special guardianship order in place, contact arrangements should be made in the best interest of the child. The special guarding is responsible for this, if there is no court order in place. They do not need permission from the courts to make or change arrangements. If you feel that contact is not in the best interest of your child, it would be a good idea to write to the guardian setting out your thoughts and any ideas you have for contact moving forward. If contact cannot be agreed, you could consider formal mediation (details HERE) in an attempt to agree on contact arrangements in the best interest of your child. However, if this was not successful, you may wish to consider making an application to court for a child arrangements order (details HERE
).

I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please refer to our website for further information.

Best wishes, Suzie