Social services to take my newborn?

[Sins]

Hello, thanks is for dropping by here and hopefully I can get some answers. I’m really scared now and had a good old tear session. (Sessions rather) I’ll try make this short and to the point. Please no judging just want advice as I’m scared for my newborn baby.

Ok so around 2015 all my 4 kids got taken out of my care (via court) into the fathers full time care. That was the most hurried and horrendous heart breaking thing any mother has to go through is losing their children who are the world to me. Reasons behind the court order for kids to be taken is; Mental health and emotional neglect which I stand until this day to be untrue. No contact with the kids whatsoever. Dad giving me a hard time and also I feel so embarrassed to face up to my kids, since I feel like an utter failure as a mum.

Fast track now 2020. My mental health has not been subjected to any concerns for me as I’ve been happy and just concentrated on myself mentally since I lost the kids. So I know my triggers, who to contact etc. I got my head “screwed” in the right places. But anyway, I Just given birth to my newborn. Have not told the midwives of any involvement with the social services before. As I was scared if I told them the social services would not give me a second chance to prove myself as a mum and just take my newborn away from me. (New partner by the way) of course eventually they’ve found out through the health visitor when they visit you they have to check your background. So midwife called me saying they have to notify social services of me having another baby. When I received this call it triggered me that the traumatic memories of how I was wrongly treated with SS before with my other kids sent me into a ball of fear. I’m scared and don’t know what to do now. The SS haven’t called me yet but I’m waiting for that dreaded call that they’re coming to see me and take baby away. I’m so frightened and don’t want another precious life taken from me. What can I do? What will SS do? Please someone advise me. I’m happy to answer any questions.

Thanks in advance x

[PerfectlySafeDad]

Horrendous that you should have to have such fear, and I hope the advisors on here can give you some concrete encouragement. It's obvious from the way you write that you are intelligent and coherent, and you sound perfectly capable of being a good loving parent. Hopefully you'll get SS visitors (if indeed you must have them) who are strong and fair enough to put in a report to that effect. My only advice as a parent and victim of Britain's SS is put together any positive reports that you can (doctor or mental health professional if you have any), of how stable and recovered you are these days, present your house in such a way that looks organized and healthy, and make a note of EVERY contact you get from the SS - dates, who, what said - preferably recorded or at least witnessed by someone reliable. It's a fact they DO lie and twist things, and by being organized and keeping records some people have managed to prove this against them in court. It shouldn't go that far with you in any case, if you're as ok as you sound. If this country has any justice at all, you should easily be able to demonstrate you're a perfectly sound person and parent now, and if there are any issues you should be protected by a process that allows you every chance to rectify them before they take away your poor baby. There'd be a CPP (child protection plan) long before it came to that (for which they HAVE to have a paper-trail), and all you would have to do is show you have abided by it.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello, thanks is for dropping by here and hopefully I can get some answers. I’m really scared now and had a good old tear session. (Sessions rather) I’ll try make this short and to the point. Please no judging just want advice as I’m scared for my newborn baby.

Ok so around 2015 all my 4 kids got taken out of my care (via court) into the fathers full time care. That was the most hurried and horrendous heart breaking thing any mother has to go through is losing their children who are the world to me. Reasons behind the court order for kids to be taken is; Mental health and emotional neglect which I stand until this day to be untrue. No contact with the kids whatsoever. Dad giving me a hard time and also I feel so embarrassed to face up to my kids, since I feel like an utter failure as a mum.

Fast track now 2020. My mental health has not been subjected to any concerns for me as I’ve been happy and just concentrated on myself mentally since I lost the kids. So I know my triggers, who to contact etc. I got my head “screwed” in the right places. But anyway, I Just given birth to my newborn. Have not told the midwives of any involvement with the social services before. As I was scared if I told them the social services would not give me a second chance to prove myself as a mum and just take my newborn away from me. (New partner by the way) of course eventually they’ve found out through the health visitor when they visit you they have to check your background. So midwife called me saying they have to notify social services of me having another baby. When I received this call it triggered me that the traumatic memories of how I was wrongly treated with SS before with my other kids sent me into a ball of fear. I’m scared and don’t know what to do now. The SS haven’t called me yet but I’m waiting for that dreaded call that they’re coming to see me and take baby away. I’m so frightened and don’t want another precious life taken from me. What can I do? What will SS do? Please someone advise me. I’m happy to answer any questions.

Thanks in advance x

Dear Sins

Welcome to the board and thank you for your post, I am sorry for the delay in responding.

I am sorry to read that you are fearful of what might happen when children’s services contact you in relation to your new born child. If they have not contacted you already when you are contacted it will be to speak with you and undertake an assessment of your current circumstances. You have said that you were known to them in the past and that your other children live with their father but you are in a new relationship; a social worker will acknowledge this fact and will assess your family in relation to this ‘new family set-up’.

The social worker will consider your past but I very much doubt that you will be considered a ‘bad mother’ because it was suggested (in the past) that you have mental health issues. If in the past (or more recently) you engaged with any services for mental health support (including your GP) it may be useful to mention this to the social worker and provide ‘evidence’ of the steps you took to find the support that you needed. If it is helpful, MIND is a mental health charity which has some useful information on its website.

Our advice sheet Family support will you give an idea about assessments. Working Together to Safeguard Children 2018 from page 23 outlines assessments in more detail and provides details of how individual cases are managed by social workers, see page 31 onwards.

In relation to your other children, you say that their father is not allowing you to have any contact with them? I wonder if you might seek some support to arrange contact especially if there was an order made in court for you to see the children. Here is some guidance about how to enforce a Child Arrangements Order.

If you would like to speak with one of our advisers in confidence, do call our advice service. The lines are open from 9.30am to 3.00pm, Monday to Friday and the number is 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes

Suzie