Need an opinion

[Superred]

Is it acceptable for a 74 year old man to sleep in the same bed as six year on autistic girl whilst she stay overnight in his home ( he is the ex partner of my partners mother)

[ConcerenedDad2B]

My opinion is a most emphatic no, but I guess I don't know the specific context. If it's a one off and she got into his bed while he was asleep then it's not the same as if they're sharing a bed as partners.

If I woke up and found a child had got into bed with me while I slept I would be horrified.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Is it acceptable for a 74 year old man to sleep in the same bed as six year on autistic girl whilst she stay overnight in his home ( he is the ex partner of my partners mother)

Dear Superred,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ forum. My name is Suzie and I will reply to your question today.

You ask whether it is acceptable for a 74 year old man to sleep in the same bed as an autistic 6 year old girl while she stays overnight in his home.

The context is not clear or detailed, but based on what you write I would say that an adult extended family member sharing a bed with a child is not ideal and I would not support this being an ongoing arrangement. You may also be uncomfortable with this as a plan as you are raising it here.

If practical and financial issues lead to this situation, Turn2Us have useful information on benefits and one off grants for essentials. You can link to their website here.

It’s positive that you are raising this question and seeking advice here as most parents need support from time to time in everyday decision-making so that they can be confident they are doing everything possible to prevent children from being in any situation which could potentially expose them to sexual harm or exploitation.

Lucy Faithfull Foundation have a Parent Protect project here. Their online resources include a guide to creating a family safety plan which could help you think through this kind of dilemma and communicate with children in your care. You can link to this here.

Clearly, I do not know that the child you write about here has come to any harm. But if any parent ever fears that a child has come to harm, they should look up the contact details for children’s services on their local council website and make a referral or contact the NSPCC or police on 101. You can contact the NSPCC Helpline by calling 0808 800 5000, emailing [email protected].

I hope this information was useful to you.

There are many different ways to contact Family Rights Group if you seek further advice in the future:

• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• Online forums where families can receive advice, discuss issues, and find support;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.
Best wishes,
Suzie