Advice about whether to disclose historic assualt

[boopitybop]

Hi,

I've been going through the court/cafcass process with the aim of increasing my time with my 6 year old to 50/50 from 40/60. We are at the final stage now which is a contested hearing.

There is something I have not brought up with anyone involved in the case, or any professional before. It relates to the circumstances around my child’s conception and has been difficult for me to talk about. The mother and I have also not discussed this.

Since then she has continued a pattern of controlling behaviour, repeated boundary crossing, and just generally poor communication wherein she will make negative comments on my personal life and become emotionally manipulative.

I have kept this to myself because I did not want to cause harm or create more conflict, and because all I have to back it up are messages of me disclosing it to a friend and family about 4 years ago (2/3 years after it happened).

I thought I could just keep it to myself and move past it, but I'm struggling. I really don't know whether it's best to continue what I'm doing or to officially disclose it to someone. Would I be doing it for me and not for our child? Would it only have negative consequences for our child and my parenting relationship with the mother?

I would be extremely grateful for any advice.