Pre Birth Assessment - SS received malicious reports

[mit141284]

Hi All,
First time poster (Expectant Father with my First Babies ever) here. Please bear with me, I am really struggling.
I have a wife, almost 18 weeks pregnant with twins, and its been hell.
We have feared social services due to her previous child being taken in to care in 2017 when he was 8 years old. Roll on to 2026 hes 17 and turning 18 next year. He went in to care due to being beyond parental control and had ADHD and other needs.
We have been looking in to the future of bringing up these twins in another European country of which my wife originates from and is a citizen of (I am not) but not right now, we have financial commitments tieing us to the UK as well as other responsibilities.
We started to slowly break the news of the pregnancy to friends and family members a month ago. This is when a week later, a report went in to social services about my wife saying she was going to leave the country and flee with the twins away from me back to her home country to escape social services. Then a week later, another malicious report went in to social services saying the same thing but then adding that she was abusing, manipulating and bullying me, controlling my finances, controlling the relationship, trying to break up the family and its finances on my side, all a load of rubbish and I have freedom to do whatever I want. I suspect its my older brothers wife who might be jealous of our situation. She completed a report a concern form that put my other brothers wife as the named party and phone number and then my wifes email address as she wanted my wife to see it on purpose. My other brothers wife said her name had been used fraudulently and contacted social services and the police also on behalf of us. I have cut the older brother and his wife out of my life.
I contacted social services to attempt to have this rubbish expunged, and they said to me if I believed it was malicious I could make a police report about it. The police made a report but did nothing and took no further action.
I now have social workers contacting me and my wife attempting to arrange a pre birth assessment. My wife is now panicking to the point she either wants to flee abroad back to her home country or wants to terminate the pregnancy. She has also had a rough first pregnancy and is a diabetic and also an eye condition so not medically complete and is 42 years old.
With the older son in care, his father also made up a stack of lies about her and myself and its on our record with the LA he lives in, but none of it true or proven, its just allegations.
My wife now wants nothing to do with my mother, who would be one of our main support network in the UK as she did not intervene to tell my brother and his wife a few choice words for reporting us maliciously, though we have no proof, but if proven, I would not hesitate to cut off.

I have a successful career that i've climbed and capable of bringing up twins, I am doing parenting courses independently, did get therapy in the past several years ago.

With this situation, where do we stand with pre-birth assessment, do I have a fighting chance of keeping my twins with malicious referrals being made about me and wife to SS and having a kid in care from several years ago? What do I need to do to get my house in order before that assessment, and what might go against me.

Thanks.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear mit141284

Welcome to Family Rights Group parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to your post.

Congratulations to you and your wife on the pregnancy and your expected twins. It is unfortunate that referrals, which you describe as malicious, have been made to children’s services and, understandable, that you and your wife are very distressed by the situation you find yourselves in. Your main worry is that children’s services intend to do a pre-birth assessment because of your wife’s history having had a child removed from her care previously.

Reading about procedures when children’s services receive a referral may help you to understand the process and you can read about this HERE

The fact that the mother had a child removed before means that children’s services would be involved. This would be the case even if they had not received the referrals you mention. Your wife would have been asked by the midwife if she had previous children’s services involvement and, also likely it would be flagged up anyway. Children’s service would follow procedure and do the assessment which should consider how they are now not only the history. It will also depend on the concerns they have about you and your wife being able to safely parent the baby either together or separately.


As you know, the assessment that will be done is a pre-birth assessment and this is because your wife’s older child was removed from her care. However, that was 9 years ago, and her circumstances seem be very different to what it was then. The assessment should look at her as she is now. She is married and in what is a stable relationship despite the allegations made to children’s services. That is not to say the history will not be considered because it will inform the new assessment but is not the only thing they would consider or be relied on. If she was unable to cope with her son’s behaviour and did not receive appropriate support to do so at the time, she may now have a better understanding of the condition her son has and which is now more widely known and supported than 9 years ago.

Once they have completed the pre-birth assessment, a recommendation will be made that is, should the unborn baby be on a child protection or child in need plan. Here are links relating to pre-birth assessment, child protection and child in need. It is also possible that the decision is no involvement is needed.

Family members and having their support can be helpful when children’s services look at the support network available to the parents. This can include friends as well. You say your wife is unhappy with your mother but there is no evidence that she was involved or aware of what you believe were reports made by your sister-in-law. It is a matter for you both to decide but having a conversation with her might help.

If there are any concerns for children's services about domestic abuse, you and your wife may be asked to engage with domestic abuse services.

It is not unusual for people from a different country to consider returning there at some point in the future. However, if your wife is, as alleged, considering leaving to escape children’s services involvement that would be a concern. In any event, children’s services would inform her home country of any concerns they have about safeguarding.

My advice is that you work openly and honestly with the social worker during the assessment process, which is not about removing children from parents but how to keep them safe in their home. You may find this from GUIDE our website about working with a social worker useful.

I hope you find this information useful. You may wish to speak with one of our experienced advisers, and you can do so by telephoning our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie