Moving forward

[HopingMamu]

Hello

It’s been a while since I’ve needed advice.
When I
Last spoke to S, she advised that after some time had passed, I could contact the LA and ask them what their reunification policy is. I did so in an email and also bulleted a few other things I wanted to discuss at our first meeting… which will hopefully be in a few weeks.it was a heads up on the fact that Swan and me still want to be together full time. I tried not to be emotional and factual. Swanny recently told me that her new sw had said… “I feel sorry for you, I heard those recordings and is your gran still the same… swan said yes.
I think social workers are very busy indeed and I have not had a reply.
My fear is that the LA will think I am opening up a can of worms again. The court case finished 9m ago and I can see how unsettled my child is.
I am 4 years stable in January and my reason for sending an email now was to clarify whether I am working toward my goal. I do wonder whether my stability matters as much as they say and that contact with father and gran would cease if she were in my care. The last thing I want is to build swans hopes up again. So I thought I could advance remotely without Swan knowing. I am confused as other sw have told me that if I continue to do well…. She will come home. It does seem like when my ex husband and mother hear that and turn the screw…. They reject the very idea.
I would go back to court and represent myself, but it’s too soon and I feel I should only go through that again when all other options are exhausted. It’s been two years since my parenting assessment and I really don’t know what to do. Swan has had a period of stability.. but it’s as if that’s given selfish people carte Blanche to do whatever they want.
Any advice on steps would be greatly appreciated

Best wishes

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear HopingMamu

Welcome back to the parents’ board. Thank you for your post. This is Suzie, Family Rights Group Adviser.

I understand that you are still missing your daughter very much and of course would like to be reunited with her, when that is possible. You have done a lot of work over the years and have been through a court process quite recently.

It is reasonable for you to ask for a copy of the local authority’s reunification policy and to email your daughter’s social worker with bullet points of other matters you would like to discuss when you meet in a few weeks’ time. You are a caring parent who wants to play an active role in your daughter’s life and to continue to work towards her returning home to your care. I am sorry that you have not heard back yet from the social worker. You could send a polite follow up to prompt a response. Did you have a chance to look at our guide to working with a social worker that I linked to last time? It may help you plan your communication so that hopefully you and the current social worker can work well together.

It is too soon to go back to court, as you are aware, but it is reasonable for you to talk to the social worker about their view of the current situation and how you can move forward. It is important that your daughter is not confused or destabilised though.

In my previous response in June, I made some suggestions about how you could discuss this with the social worker and how you can clarify what work or support has been done with your daughter to help her manage her experiences including why she does not live with you, at the moment. It might be worth your while revisiting that post as the advice provided is still relevant to your current situation.

I hope that the social worker responds promptly and that you have a productive meeting when it takes place.

I wanted to let you know about a possible source of support for you as a parent separated from your child. There is a charity called BEAM that you may be of interest to you; you can find their contact details here.

I hope this helps. If you have any further queries, please post again or contact the advice service via one of our options linked to here.

Best wishes

Suzie