Removed from family home by Police & Children Services

[heartbrokenfather]

I am still not getting anywhere with the police and children services, and I just seem to be talking to myself.

My solicitor has confirmed that my wife now has her own solicitor, and that the two solicitors are communicating with each other. But even both of the solicitors do not seem to be getting anywhere with children services. Lack of response to repeated requests.

It's now been 7 weeks since I last had contact with the children, I have only seen the children once for an hour and a half in the last 9 weeks, almost 10 weeks.

I have not been able to see or contact me wife at all since this all kicked off, and it's our 11th year wedding anniversary on the 14th on this month.

I just feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall.

Can someone please advise me where or who else I can contact to try and get things sorted, or at least moving forward.

Thanks for your time.

Best Regards.

[blueplain]

At this point you should definitely contact your local MP. I myself contacted my Local MP after a long period in which children services had failed to contact me after a prolonged period. In the end the head of community and people had got children services to write me a letter of apology and to give me all the information I should have got.

I am glad your wife has got a lawyer and I am sorry you had to live so long in this frustration. While you write or talk personally to your local mp also put in a complaint at the children services itself.

In this case I definitely think you mp will take up your case. Best of luck. A lot of us have suffered here, you are not alone. We all know how it feels to be frustrated and scared. Keep your chin up and good luck

[heartbrokenfather]

I had already sent my local MP an email regarding matters, and I was advised that they would be contacting the local authority that are involved, and I have not yet heard back from my local MP's office.

A few hours after my last post on Tuesday I had a phone called from Children Services informing me that there was a meeting the following day (Wednesday) regarding having contact with the children.

The meeting was at a contact center, and at the meeting there was the contact center manager, a children social worker, and two contact supervisors.
The meeting lasted around 35 minutes, and I was told that I would only be able to have contact once a fortnight on a Monday after school for an hour and a half with all 5 children, and that the contact would have two contact supervisors.
I was also told that if the children become upset or distressed that contact will be stopped, and further contact will have to be reconsidered.
The contact center is not in my local town, and is approx 10 miles away from the family home, approx 20 minute drive on a good day.
Now my wife only has a small car and only has 5 seats, so there is no way that she can take all the children to the contact center.
I was told that the two contact supervisors would collect the children from school and transport them in two vehicles to and from the contact center.
This arrangement concerns me in a number of ways. The children do not know the contact supervisors, and as far as I am aware never met them before. Also as said before our daughter has Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, Oppositional defiant disorder, Tourette syndrome, and our youngest son has Meckel's diverticulum, Short bowel syndrome, Fecal incontinence.
So these two children on there own could be a hand full. Then there are 3 other children as well, So a total of 5 children is two vehicles.

I do not foresee any problems with the children while at the contact center.

But I am very worried and concerned what will happen at the end of the contact, as there will be more then likely 5 very upset children, and there mother will not be there to comfort them.

Can anyone please advice?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear heartbrokenfather,

I am glad that you are now having contact with your children.

However, I can see that you are worried about the logistics. The social worker should be aware of your children’s needs and should have taken these into account when arranging the supervisors.

Did you discuss your concerns at the meeting? If not, you could raise them now either with the social worker or the contact supervisors. The contact supervisors should be experienced and know about different difficulties.
You could also mention your worry about the children being upset after contact. How would they recommend it is handled? Should you re assure your children that you will see them again soon?

I would avoid raising your worries in front of the children at contact-but instead concentrate on having good contact with your children.
Have a look at National association of child contact centres. You could also contact their helpline for assistance.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[heartbrokenfather]

Now on day 77 of this nightmare.

On Monday I had contact with all 5 children as arranged, the contact supervisors turned up late with the children so my contact session was shorter then it was meant to be, But it was grate to be able to see and interact with the children after not having any kind of contact with them for 53 Days.
I feel that the contact session went well, all the children where very happy to see me, they told me all about there Christmas, and what they had all been up to.
I was really dreading what the children's reactions where going to be like at the end of the contact session, but when the time to back up and go came, I reassured the children that I would be seeing them all again in two weeks time, you could see and tell that the children was not happy about it, but we did not have the tears and crying like last time. I was finding it hard myself with how I was feeling, but I did not want to upset or distress the children by me crying.

On Thursday I emailed my local MP's office again to see if they had any updates or replies from the relevant authorities.
I got a reply later on in the day basically just saying that they are still awaiting their response.

[heartbrokenfather]

I have been going over the child protection conference minutes, and there are endless errors, spelling mistakes, incorrect names, dates, places, etc.
The story keeps changing, and even in places directly contradicts itself.
I just don't know where to start with things.

One thing I know for sure is that the police and or children's services do not think highly of me at all.

Here are just a few of the quotes I have picked up on.

Mr -------- is currently struggling to understand the reason for the current investigation by Social care and Police.

Mr -------- failure to recognise the severity of the current situation

Mr -------- lack of positive engagement with services at present

I remain unclear as to whether Mr -------- misuses alcohol or other substances

During the first visit to the house with the Police there was a lingering smell of Cannabis

There are also concerns about Mr -------- due to alleged domestic abuse

I can see where the police and or children's services are going to try and go with this, and I don't like it one bit.

It seems that the police and or children's services are going to try painting me off as some kind of drunk druggy that beats his wife and or children around.

I have never done drugs in my life, nor would I want to or start to.
I do drink alcohol, But I do not class having a can of fosters with my Sunday roast, or the odd occasional can of beer while I am out in my shed to be a problem.
I have never hit my wife and or any of the children.

It there anyway that I can prove to the police and or children's services that I do not do drugs, and I do not drink much alcohol?

And I could really do with some advice on how to handle things.

[blueplain]

Get a drug test done, then you can show them that I you do not use drugs. As to domestic violence and drinking, do you have charecter witnesses that Normally see you a lot. Or perhaps your neighbours can vouch that they hear no domestic events.

They might ask you to take anger management and go to rehab. If you do both of those then the professional at anger management will see you do not have an anger problem and the peeps at rehab will see you do not crave a drink. So in the long run you should be able to show that none of these things are a problem.

I can not advise you further since I have not been in your position. However you should cooperate and be polite throughout and use the complaint procedure to ease your frustration rather then argue your innocence. You innocence will be shown while you cooperate fully and show good progress. See what your lawyer says and I am sure Suzie will give you more advice.

[heartbrokenfather]

blueplain: Thanks for your time and advise as always.

I am more then willing to do any kind of tests for drugs and or alcohol.
I am also more then willing to go to any kind of parenting classes, anger management, marriage counseling, etc.

I would not know where to really start with any of the above. Would any of the above be able to be referred by my GP, or would I need to contact someone else?

Thanks again for your time.

Best Regards.

[blueplain]

XXXXX does public drug and alchohole tests. I do not know the cost or how well children services will accept getting the test done yourself. Children services normally initiate a drug and alchohole test on you if they have concerns about it. So I would ask them that if they have concerns you might be on drugs or drink heavily that they perform the test on you so you can alleviate the concern and carry on with the progress of your case.

Here is the XXXXX test any who's http://www.alphabiolabs.co.uk/contact-u ... l-testing/


edited by Suzie to remove identifying information

[charmed1]

Mr -------- is currently struggling to understand the reason for the current investigation by Social care and Police.Mr -------- failure to recognise the severity of the current situationMr -------- lack of positive engagement with services at presentI remain unclear as to whether Mr -------- misuses alcohol or other substancesDuring the first visit to the house with the Police there was a lingering smell of CannabisThere are also concerns about Mr -------- due to alleged domestic abuse

This is so typical. We've had accusations that our house smelt of wee, that we leave sharp knives in the children's reach (kitchen door always locked). Leave hot drinks lying around. None of which is true. If they had concerns then why do they walk out of your home not saying a word? You only then find out when you read a report at the next core group meeting or conference. By then it's too late because it's in writing. As we all know too well by then it's in stone and they refuse to amend it.

Surely if they are "accusing" you of taking drugs then walking away and not saying anything raises questions in itself. It is like they read from a script. So much of what you have written has been said about myself and my husband. Our two little ones are in foster care while they burrow deep to try and find adopters for a sibling group 4 and 6 years old. As I type they have another 4 months then the Judge wants it back in front of her to revoke the placement order. She's had enough of the LA. In the meantime my husband and I see our kids once more next week then will be once a month for an hour. Our 4 year old son is finding it very hard. Our daughter who has a learning disability (caused by bad parenting they said) doesn't understand but gets upset frequently. I am following your threads closely and will help if I can.