Need help before Child Protection Conference

[Newtothis]

Hi i have no idea where to start but im really hoping for help and advice not criticism please.

Im 32 weeks pregnant and have not been able to wnjoy any of it so far.
My partner is a registered sex offender but for a very minimal sentence.
The conviction was for taking 5 indecent images of a child. They were not sexual they were typical photos of child in the bath but it was blown out of proportion by his ex who made copies of them and gave them to the police.
Sentence was served half inside and half on license.
It was a 14 month sentence yet he has ended up with an indefinite SOPO where it should have been 10 years not indefinite. It started nearly 4 years ago.

We have cooperated with social services so much with everything. It was us that made the first move to them lnce i had got to 13 weeks pregnant we told his police worker to inform social.
We had the initial assessments done by a very biased and opinionated social worker who decided straight away to accuse me of "normalising his behaviour" as i had been raped 3 times from the age of 13 and sexual abused by another.
We have been open and honest with them about my mental health issues because of this and how i am bipolar but it is medication controlled (when im not pregnant) and have had medical support all through pregnancy too.

After the assessment we were passed to a long term worker who would do risk assessments on myself and my partner and his police worker would also carry out her own risk assessment. These were meant to be started in the beginning of July. Nothing has been done. In fact our social worker has only seen us twice in 5 meetings and both her and the police worker have been on holiday more than they have seen us.
I got a phone call yesterday telling me:
- that she is leaving social services and doesnt know who will take over from her.
- that they have held a meeting without letting us know and without doing the risk assessments that we now have a child protection conference next week to attend.
- she also said "basically you better make your choice now and kick your partner out"

Now all of this hit me really hard and actually sent me to labour ward for monitoring of my baby and a scan today to make sure he is okay as i ended up in serious paij brought on from all the stress and distress she had caused.

I am meant to be having a planned c section (due to health) end of september to have my little one but the safeguarding midwife wont make a decision to allow my partner onto the ward to visit me after delivery until she has risk assessments from social and police. Neither are being done and now it is going straight to a conference.
How is this even allowed?
What leg do i have to stand on?
They have not even bothered to consider that my family live 200 miles away from me so i will have minimal help with a newborn after a csection delivery on my own if they chose to not risk assess my partner correctly.
What can i do to stop them splitting us up as a family? My partner is my absolute rock and i have no issues with his past and i have no doubts at all about him being around our child. He has been open and honest with me about everything, he gave me all the paperwork to read as well and I have it stored safely. We planned our child so its not like i didnt know about his past before deciding that he has every right to a family and i know ill do everything to protect my baby from any harm but i dont see how there is any risk of harm.
It was a one off mistake that was made years ago that has ended up with these social workes portraying him to be a monster. He is not. He has done so much to already help me with this pregnancy amd preparations for this baby.

Please help.
Conference is on wed 17th.

[Newtothis]

bump

[Har1Her1]

Hello,

I am so sorry to read about your issues with child protection agencies. It sounds as if you have done everything to co-operate with the agencies concerned and this will be a very significant positive factor in the conference.

You asked what will happen in an Initial Child Protection Conference (ICPC). Last week, I attended my second ICPC in a year, so (perhaps unfortunately) I have some experience in these matters. First, the meeting that was held without your presence would almost certainly have been a Child Protection Strategy meeting. This is a professionals only meeting and during the meeting, professionals decide whether your child is 'at risk of serious harm'. This can be harm relating to any category of 'abuse': physical, emotional, sexual or neglect. If the professionals decide here is such a risk, an ICPC will be held. Your social worker will inform you about the results of the Strategy meeting and s/he will produce a report for the ICPC.

The report will include: historical or background information; the results of the social worker's assessment (which would include his/her evaluation of observations made at any meeting you had with him/her and comments/observations from others. In both the child protection cases for my children, I found the social worker's report very upsetting. Some of the things that upset me were probably reasonable evaluations of a situation, but they were evaluations made out of context, so they appeared harsh. Some evaluations were not evidence based - a best someone had noticed something and jumped to a conclusion about what was happening. Some evaluations were based on falsity and these were very hard to take.

Therefore, when you receive the report, go through it thoroughly. I pretended it was a report for someone else, so hat I could face the thing without becoming enraged. Write down your response and ask your social worker to forward this to the Independent Reviewing Officer so your response can be included in the reports for the ICPC.

At the ICPC, you will be given all the reports to read and the IRO will ell you what will happen in the meeting. Although the meeting is meant to be objective and supportive (mainly fact finding and planning), you will be in a highly emotional state. Because you are heavily pregnant, you will be even more emotional. Ask the IRO to mention at the beginning that you may need to leave the room for a short time during the meeting due to your condition. It is important that you appear as composed as possible.

There will be quite a large number of professionals and there must be a representative from the police at the meeting. Some of the professionals will be unknown to you and will never appear again, others will be familiar to you. The IRO will look a 'danger statements' [what agencies are concerned about] 'what is going well' 'complicating factors' and so on.

You will have the chance to speak at the meeting and you should make a note of any main points that you want to get across. At the end of the meeting, each professional will be asked to say whether they think each child should go on a Child Protection Plan or a Child in Need Plan or whether no plan is needed. If the majority of professionals agree that a Child Protection Plan is needed for one or all your children then they have to decide which category of 'abuse' is should be under.

It all seems a but daunting. However remember this:

The ICPC is not about deciding whether your child/ren will go into care. It is about supporting you to keep your child/ren safe.

If your child/ren is put on a CPP under a category of 'abuse' that does not mean to say you or your partner have been abusive towards the child/ren. It simply means there is some element of risk in the environment that needs a little more control to keep your child/ren safe.

There may be parts of reports and assessments that you do not agree with - you should challenge these in writing.

There will be parts of the reports and assessments that will be painful to read, but could be true. Take these on board and ask for help to work on them.

Co-operate with the agencies and they will soon be out of your life.

You will feel terrible. I feel angry, frustrated and bitter. I must say that in my case I have no respect for my social worker or his team. However, despite our differences, we are working towards the same goals for my children.

It can help to think, even if Child Protection Plans are recommended, the whole thing is a small inconvenience. You will keep your children safe (as you always have done). However, there may be one or two things that you have to do to jump through the hoops.

Finally, Children's Social Care focuses on children. They do not consider your needs to any great extent. Therefore, make sure you can find some support networks e.g. mother and baby clubs when your little one is born, voluntary groups and so on.

Most of all, enjoy your new baby.

[Shaftesbury]

You've received a really good response.

I agree with what has been said. My children have been on a child protection plan for 18 months and I've attended many a conference / meeting and jumped through many hoops (my long distance partner is a sex offender).

I just wanted to say that being involved with children's services has not been at all as terrifying in reality as the stigma makes it out to be. As mentioned above, its more of an "inconvenience" - i.e. I have to attend the meetings and welcome the social worker etc. I have three children on a protection plan which means every 4 weeks my social worker comes and has a quick 10 to 15 minute chat with them, and I have to attend a short meeting every 6 weeks. I've also done a short course on domestic abuse. Yes, its a bit of a pain, but ultimately my children are safe and happy and so am I. Children's services didn't make me end my relationship - they put some rules and boundaries in place and gave me some free education!

I'm not saying things will be plain sailing but I just wanted to calm any fears of the words "child protection plan" you may have.

Just make sure you co-operate and do everything asked of you and you have nothing to worry about.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Newtothis

Welcome to the Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group. You say that you want to have help and advice and no criticism to your post. I think it unlikely that you will be criticised as the purpose of the forum is for posters to respond with their own experiences by way of support.

I am sorry that you have not been able to enjoy your pregnancy due to children services involvement because of your partner’s history. I think you need to understand that children services will be concerned about safeguarding a child or children where there is someone with a past that includes sex offences. Whilst I note your comments that it was a minimal sentence, the situation was blown out of proportion, children services will see this as you not accepting the seriousness of their concerns. The fact that you are saying it is minimal and only normal photographs is what children services consider to be ‘normalising’ his behaviour. It is unlikely that the police would charge a person for normal photographs and not only that but he was subsequently convicted.

Please see advice sheet about children services procedures when they receive a referral.

Children services are likely to be concerned that because of your own history, you may be vulnerable and this why they may have concerns about your ability to protect your child/children whilst involved with your partner. I am not course saying that this is the case but this is likely to be a concern for children services. Have you had any therapy or support about the abuse you suffered yourself? It is good that you and your partner are being honest and open about the mental health and that you are medication compliant.

The main concern seems to be that the promised risk assessment has not been carried out and the situation is made worse by the fact that the social worker has now advised that she will be leaving. It is unfortunate that this is happening at this late stage in your pregnancy.
The meeting you referred to may have been a strategy meeting to which parents are not invited. I assume that children services carried out child protection enquiries and the recommendation is that your child is risk of harm and there should be an initial child protection conference. Please see our advice sheet on child protection procedures . You may also wish to watch the films our website.

You have had some good advice from the responses to your post from Har1Her1 and Shaftesbury who have given you the benefit of their own experiences. I hope you find their support helpful.

I can understand your frustration that the risk assessments have not been carried out and I suggest that you write to the social work team manager (ask the social worker for his or her name if you do not know it) asking when the risk assessment will start and the timescale.

Is it possible that you could ask a family member to support you after the baby’s birth? What about your partner’s family can they help?

I am sorry that you have had to be in hospital due to the stressful situation your find yourself in. The child protection conference will also be to make plans about what will happen when the baby arrives. The social worker’s comments were inappropriate as there is a plan to risk assess your partner. You and your partner might want to contact the Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 100 0900. This organisation can provide advice where sex offenders are concerned and will be better placed to inform you about the assessment of risk and children services involvement.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie