Desperate to discharge care order.

[Saraheve]

Hi my name is xxxx. And my son of 9 was taken into care a few days ago.
Their concerns were arguing with his dad (his dad is now moved out and we no longer argue.
Smoking cannabis even though I cut down drastically. I'm now getting support for this.
And they said I'm unable to implement boundaries as they saw my son shouting at me.
I am going to take parenting classes.
And me being diagnosed with autism and I struggle with housework they originally said theirs no help for people with autism in my area.
Since looking into this I found out they are wrong and their is support I can get with regards to housekeeping.
This ordeal is distressing me greatly as me and my son have a strong bond and he wants to come home to me. I love him very much and I feel grief as they only want me to see him once a month so he can settle in his placement. But I'm desperately miss him and want him home. Please help me. Any support or advice would be greatly appreciated thanks.
xxxxx.

*edited by Suzie*

[Saraheve]

Hi i tried talking to my social worker explaining that contact 6 times a year is not in my childs interest. I was told their would be a lac review meeting but my sons social worker is always unsure when the meeting is and I havnt been contacted the the review officer.
The social worker said I have to go back to court to change contact. But the earliest I can do that is February. I feel like social services are just trying to hurt me. Even prisoners have more contact with their children. They know im hurt and they know my son is too but it's like they don't even care. Any further advice.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Saraheve

Thank you for your further posts.

If the social worker is unable to tell you when the looked after child review (LAC review) is due to take place, I suggest that you put your request in writing to the social worker, the team manager and the independent reviewing officer. I think it best to put things in writing as this will be helpful if you have to make a complaint later.

As your child is subject to a care order the first review should be 4 weeks after he became looked after and then at 3 months and 6 months. This 6 monthly review period can be extended if your child is of an age to agree to it. You should now be able to calculate approximately when a review is due to take place. Please read this advice sheet about the duties children services have when a child is in care from page 18 onwards about reviews.

I do not think the social worker is going to make any decisions about the level of your contact unless at a meeting where all issues can be fully discussed. It may be that you do not think 6 times a year is enough but children services is likely to take a view that your son has to have time to settle before contact can be increased.

If you feel that it is important for your son to have more contact then you can make an application to the court. Please see our advice sheet here about contact to a child in care which explains how you can go about making an application to the court.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free, confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope you will find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Saraheve]

Hi i was invited last minute to a lac review meeting the social worker was not their but the lac manager was their. Luckily they said they will keep the contact to every 2 weeks as long as I do not talk to my child about coming home in contact.
The lac manager seemed very nice she said if I keep up the good work my son can be returned to me in the future. Unfortunately I don't think this will be anytime soon as I got to show sustainable change and I am 6months pregnant.
But all professionals are fully aware I am working towards getting him to come home.
Has the lac manager got much powers thanks
Sara***




Amended by Suzie to preserve confidentiality.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Saraheve,

That is good news about children services keeping contact at its current level of every 2 weeks.
It reflects the efforts that you are making and that contact being kept at this level is in the best interests of your son.

You said the meeting was a Looked after children meeting (LAC) meeting. If it was, then that decision about contact will be recorded and reflected in your sons care plan. So as well as the team manager, the independent reviewing officer also approved it.

The Lac manager will be more senior than the social worker, so will generally have more decision making responsibilities.

best wishes,

Suzie

[Saraheve]

Hi thank you for your response, I was wondering how to move forward from supervised contact. Social services know theirs no concerns of abuse so I'm a bit annoyed and feel uncomfortable the contact being supervised. Thanks.

[Saraheve]

Hi i would like some further advice please i was told because I'm pregnant it will be harder to get my son back,
I was wondering if I get letters from family and friends that they will support me with the baby will this help, I miss my son very much thanks.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear S,

As your current contact is being supervised, records from contact will be sent to the social worker.
If contact is consistently going well and remains in the interests of your son, then there will be evidence to argue for contact to become unsupervised.
These contact records could also help children services make decisions around your baby when s/he is born.
Do they also want to test whether you can maintain this level of contact?

Because of all the changes you are making in your life-including reducing and stopping your intake of cannabis, they may worry about the effect of this on you and want to monitor it.
Why don’t you email the social worker and manager and ask what needs to happen and what can you do to work towards unsupervised contact.


Generally, it is a good idea to look at your support network. There may be a lot of help there. Were your friends and family assessed during the care proceedings?
If there is someone who has not been assessed who you think would pass a risk assessment to help with contact, then this might be something to consider.
However, you probably need to know what the plan will be when your baby is born.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[Saraheve]

Hi thanks for your reply, I am going to have a lac review in December, I'm worried about my unborn baby as they are now started a pre birth assessment and have told me they have concerns even though I have changed and addressed all of the concerns, the new social worker for the baby said I must must be surprised if they do proceed with proceedings, I told her I will do anything it takes and will work with professionals to avoid this,
I showed her I brought a new buggy a cot clothes and a moses basket, and she said don't buy to much that I find worrying.
I have followed your advice and looked at the final judgement and addressed all of the concerns, she mentioned having a family group confrence,
I'm just missing my son so much and so worried about loosing my unborn baby that it's making me physically sick, I don't know what else to do. Please may you help.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear S

I am sorry that you are still feeling so anxious about your current situation relating to your son being in long term foster care under a care order and your pregnancy.

As you have been advised before, children services will remain involved and because of the concerns that led to your son being made subject to a care order, are looking at your situation now in respect of your unborn baby.

I think it is important that you give focus to the baby, taking account of the reasons given by the judge, as to why your son could not remain in your care. You do need to show that you fully understand what the concerns/reasons were that led to care proceedings. It is also important that you address as much as you can these to show that you have learned and willing to change.

A family group conference is helpful. This is an opportunity for your family or friends to give an indication of the kind of help and support they would be able to offer you with the baby. I have included here our advice sheet about family group conferences and a to link the film on our website.

It is inappropriate for the social worker to speak to you in the way you describe in your post as it must be upsetting for you. As with your son, it will be a judge who makes the decision about your baby, so it is really important that you can show very significant changes should it go down the route of care proceedings. This may not be the case, if children services see a marked change.

I do not think there is very much more that I can advise at this time as it will be a repetition of what has been said in your previous posts. However, I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to engage and work cooperatively with children services.

Please telephone our free confidential advice line should you wish to speak to an adviser. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie.