Health visitor desperate to refer me to social services

[JellyBaby]

Hi, I have a little girl who is in my care and healthy. I've got a problem with my health visitor, who seems desperate to refer me to the ss for "extra help". I really don't want any involvement with them. The health visitor constantly puts me down and tries to make out like I can't cope, just because I'm a single mum. She also invites herself to look around my house. She says if I refuse a child in need referral, she will refer me as child protection instead. I asked her what for, and she said, "oh, you could really do with some parenting courses".

I was having a discussion about disengaging with the health visitor services, as there are only 2 which cover my area and they both seem ss referral friendly (the other one has made false allegations with my cousin), but I was told that this would be an automatic child protection referral.

I don't know how much more I can put up with. I've not done anything wrong and I'd do anything to keep my little girl safe, yet all I'm getting is veiled threats.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear JellyBaby

Welcome to the Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are feeling so worried and stressed by the health visitor’s suggestion that a referral should be made to children services as she believes that you could do with extra support caring for your daughter.

Your health visitor’s role is to ensure your child is healthy and safe. If the health visit considers that the child can be helped by you receiving support then she should to ensure that you get that help. If you are unclear why the health visitor is considering this referral, I think it would be better for you to have a discussion about why you do not think you need support. The health visitor should explain to you why she thinks you need support and what kind of help is needed. It may be that you are able to get this support yourself from your own family and friends support network or arrange it in some other way.

It may be that you are worried that if children services were to become involve it will cause you problems. I cannot say whether, or if children services, will have any concerns if they receive a referral. Children services have a duty to safeguard children in their local area to ensure that they are being brought up in a safe environment. This can be done by providing additional support to families after carrying out an assessment of their needs.

I have included here for your information a copy of our advice sheet which explains what happens when children services receive a referral.

The health visitor has told you and she believes you need extra help, this is for the benefit of your daughter, if you refuse to accept help, and this could lead to concerns about whether you put your child’s needs before your own. I am not sure if the health visitor would suggest making a referral if it was not necessary. Children services are likely to carry out a child in need assessment or refer you an appropriate first response services in your area. Please read our advice sheet relating to family support and child in need assessments.

Please discuss the health visitor’s concerns with her and give your views but bear in mind that it is primarily about your daughter’s needs and how these can best be met.

You may wish to speak to an adviser about your current situation and, if so, please do telephone our free, confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie