Dear terrifiedmummy,
Welcome to the Parents Board. I am so sorry to hear about the abuse your children suffered and that they are now in foster care.
I assume that care proceedings have started. Is that the case?
During the care proceedings, the court will be deciding what harm each of your children might have suffered and whether you could have also caused the harm, or be involved in some way, or have known about the abuse but failed to protect your children.
There will be a fact finding hearing so the court can try and find out what happened.
In this hearing, the court will be hearing the evidence and then deciding on the balance of probability (ie 51% you were involved or knew about dad being abusive to 49% you did not know). So getting a finding of fact is easier than getting a conviction in the criminal court.
Because the care proceedings are about non-accidental injury to your children (as well as sexual abuse and domestic violence) and this will involve medical evidence, I strongly recommend that you have a solicitor who has a lot of experience in non- accidental injury cases. They do not need to be in the same area as where you live. They will be more adept at dealing with the medical evidence which is likely to be complex.
Here is some
information about how courts deal with non- accidental injuries.
After the fact finding hearing, there will be another hearing to decide where your children will live.
First they will look at you, as mum. Can they return to you? Will it be safe and can you parent your children (who themselves may have complex needs-due to the abuse suffered).
The assessments of you will be looking at your parenting capacity so anything your solicitor recommends, including the domestic violence programme, you should do. Because your son has suffered sexual abuse you could also look at the Lucy Faithfull Foundation,
Parents Protect website or call the helpline about courses and support for you and your son. Here is some information about
assessments. .
What support do you have in your friends and family network? You could ask for a Family Group Conference to look for support to help your children to come back to you. The FGC can also be used to find family and friends (connected people) who could care for your children if the court decides that they cannot return home to you. Here is our advice sheet about
Family Group Conferences.
Second, if your children cannot return home to you, is there anyone in your family or friend’s network (or dads) who could care for your children until they are adults? This can be distant relatives. If there are people, you should give their contact details to your solicitor as they will need to have an assessment.
Third, if the court decide that your children cannot return to the family, then the courts will order a care order where there may be a plan for adoption (more likely for younger children) or long term foster care.
Here is our advice sheet about
Care (and related) proceedings.
Children services only became involved recently. So there are a lot of assessments to take place before the court can decide where your children will live. The level of contact reflects this. So your baby does need to see more of you, so that he can bond with you. But the lower levels for your other children reflect the unknowns of this case. Here is our advice sheet about
Contact with children in care
If you have any questions, please post back.
Best wishes,
Suzie
