I am a grandad approaching 50 years of age. Seperated for 17 years from Nan (Nanny A), always friendly and I could have my kids any time (_always_ the entire weekend it happily turned out).
My daughter is 23, mother of 3 children (5, 3, and 2), plus 6 months pregnant with new partner.
The father of my grandchildren is a year or two younger than my daughter. He is diagnosed with ADHD, and much worse mental health conditions still.
They were together from early teens - where they met when my daughter and I were transfered to a larger home - until around one year ago when they split up.
Since the breakup of my daughter and her ex partner, the *several* different social workers have increasingly been overly harsh and extremely unfair/biased/out-of-order.
Initially my daughter had the children staying with her mother (Nanny A) and her sister, but SS seamed to have issues with this over nothing, and were making up excuses (see Court Guardian visit below).
The grandchildren are currently placed with the father's mother (Nanny B), by an initial bogus court hearing (see below).
My daughter hardly gets to spend any time at all with her children, just 90 minutes on a Wednesday at their school, and 3 hours on a Friday to take them to see their nan (A).
I don't get to see them at all anymore
The father gets to spend way more time with his children, even getting to go to a *day* at the zoo.
My daughter wouldn't even have time to get to a zoo and back, not that the current social worker would even permit such a thing.
List of people who were assessed by current social worker to 'supervise' my daughter with her own children :/
My eldest daughter, my youngest daughter, my daughter's current partner (this was recently changed, so strike that), *all* of the father's family including more diagnosed mental health people.
List of people who were assessed by current social worker who are *NOT* permitted to 'supervise' my daughter with her own children :/
Myself, my son, NannyA (due to serious illness).
Now, considering that I used to be a private-hire driver (taxi driver), and was cleared to drive a cab in a ***** to Asda and back, and have been self-employed since for another five years, I don't understand why I can not be trusted with MY OWN family?
My son is a builder for almost two years at the same work placement from the college. None of us have any record of wrong doings.
So, my daughter and her ex (the father) were often 'bickering', but for sure his ADHD would make a passer-by see things worse than they were plus perhaps not know who had issues. The social services got themselves involved due to malicious neighbours complaining about hearing arguing each time over the years. The 'plan' went on forever, eventually my daughter was getting frustrated that it never seemed to end, but that didn't help things and all social workers involved (forever changing) did appear to be harsh with my daughter, even though it was clear to me at least that her efforts were wholesome. My daughter always puts her children first, this is not how the SW portays things though, she dodges/ignores anything positive, even frowning.
Before all of that, when just the first grandchild was a baby, the three of them lived at my place (my daughter already did).
One morning, I was woken by an argument between them. I got up, walked to the kitchen and on the way said "... can I have the phone charger please", perhaps hoping they would calm down a bit too. At that point, I looked in to see him (the father) having a fit (some sort of attack in his head while ranting etc.), then he ran towards me and tried to strangle me! I don't know if he succeeded and this reality is some twisted form of Hell, but apparently I punched him in the nose to get him off me, puched him again as now my life felt in real danger, then he kinda vanished as he ran away out of the house to his mum's (Nanny B) around the corner. I *immediately* dialed emergency services and the police soon arrived...
After talking with my daughter and myself in seperate rooms, we then gathered in the living room at which point my daughter asked me not to prosecute her boyfriend. I was confused but also knew that she seemed to not want me to, so I didn't. In hindsight I am glad for my other grandchildren's existance and wouldn't change that if I could. Also I gave the young lad a generous second chance at life, all everyone ever did was good things for him (I charged no rent for example), he never respected that. Anyway, I thought the police would prosecute him themselves, they had the evidence from him and everyone, they knew him already.
The reason I go in to detail about that, is because this is the main reason why I "failed" the evaluation? Apparently I can not be trusted to report any future incidents? erm, what?
The other reason is that the father claims that *I* might have mental health issues. Sorry but this is pathetic, a man could lose faith over this (actually I have now lost faith, I no longer respect God and the Devil are good/bad, they, if exist, are as *bad* as each other), seriously. That guy is crazier than anyone I have ever spoken with, he milks the system and admits his strange ways quite openly, how can a 'professional' social worker even take him seriously? There are a string of mistakes by the current SW, I only hope that my daughter's solicitor ups their game because last time they sent some new guy down from up the line, who was (no offence) fresh out of college.
I swear, the moment I walked in to the SW's meeting room, the woman had an extremely (preconcieved) funny tone in her voice. It was clear as day a bad attitude, yet I was expecting to be treated impartially and professionally. I told the SW that I wasn't comfortable with her tone, and there was no need for it. She then changed her tone to a somewhat patronising voice. It was quite ammateur to be honest, but I answer all of her loaded questions in full, and even felt that she was completely empathising with my side of things throughout. Yet she couldn't have been more treacherous.
We now have less than five (5) weeks until first some preliminary court case, and then the 5-day serious court case. Suddenly this Friday just gone, we find out that *again* the SW has moved the case to a court which is like 40 miles (not checked but it takes a train and *then* a bus) away from our *main* city (as seen on UK weather map) which we live in. Last time she (the same SW) did this at the last minute, and I wasn't even able to attend the hearing. She claimed it was an emergency, so that's how she managed to get all of her *EX COLLEAGUES* from *that* precise area, to work around her bent will. It was a complete farce, several other things happened but this post is long enough already. And I might save some facts for when I take this to the high courts when I'm 100 years old...
The Court Guardian visited my daughter's mother (Nanny A), sat in a chair next to her bed for a very long time, and was more than happy the house was decent, as are the people. He claims not to understand why the SW isn't being reasonable. He also spoke with me at another time, and again was more than happy. I presume that he only 'protects' civil servants?
I will not rest, if it takes the rest of my life, to get justice. I want my grandchildren back with the mother. We were always fair with them, they never even turned up half of the time, always excuses, never like us who couldn't wait to see our loved ones again, for a moment.
I have asked my daughter to also create an account here, and join in with posting her thoughts, and hopefully answering any questions from anyone who is kind enough to spare their time. I shall myself keep this thread up to date for as long as it takes. Perhaps one day I shall be in a position to hire four lawyers, or perhaps that can't happen now as this has all changed our lives in such dramatic ways. (it made me homeless after the trauma, I couldn't earn, my daughter moved out, I couldn't afford 'bedroom tax', neighbours again were racist imo, I was evicted after one year).
I can only hope that this is some modern version of the "short sharp shock", but anyone listening, this is not helping anyone. We were all happy, the kids were always smiling and loving, things are apparently not the same since, there is absolutely no way that the SW has protected the children. In my opinion this SW should have her honours stripped, and certainly not be promoted to manager soon (she promised the SW won't change again, but here we are, again). England, I was born here, but also I do expect my human rights to see my family as an innocent man. My daughter needs her offspring too, it goes without saying but seriously, this is a farce. I think the world should know this case.
***edited by Suzie to comply with the forum's rule about confidentiality.