Initial child protection conference

[Softbrowneyes25]

Hello, I'm new to this forum so please bear with me if I make any mistakes.
I am an unmarried single mother and have three children, a 19 year old son who has just completed his A levels, a 16 year old daughter who is resitting her GCSE's and a 13 year old son who is in Year 9. This is going back months this year, my daughter was self harming herself and she was feeling depressed and was seen by the GP who referred her to CAHMS and is having an on going therapy. Social services got involved because the GP's at the hospital had to inform them about what had happened. My son was feeling low and depressed and was not attending his secondary school properly. The school tried to help in any way the could but before the school holidays he got attacked with six teenagers on his way back from school which became a robbery and the police got involved. This made him so frightened and he started getting panic attacks which led him to have asthma attacks and on one occasion he had an panic attack in school which led to him having an asthma attack, and then the school had to take him to the local doctor's surgery which was just around the corner from where he was attending. He was taken into the nearest children's A&E. The school informed me and then I had to take the afternoon off from work as my work place is close to the hospital. On the last day of the school closing for the summer holidays, both my youngest son and myself attended a meeting with the Education Welfare Officer, the Attendance officer and the School liason officer at the education service department and the meeting went well but my son was told that he had to attend school because of the education system and that is the law. Since then we have been referred to a family therapy which is helpful but it is long process as it will take months. During that time the social worker has been to visit us at our home twice and the second time was destressing as she breached her right to my private life in my family home. When my son's school reopened in September, my son's Care co-ordinator called for a meeting at his school to see what help and support he could get since he was off school for months. The school wanted him to be taken away from me and put into a different family as they wanted him to go to school everyday. The Care co-ordinator objected to what they had to say and said that it would be better for him to be put into a school where they have fewer children in a class. During this last week, I received a letter stating that my daughter, my youngest son and myself have to attend an Initial Child Protection conference this coming Friday at 10 am. I have been to see the social worker regarding the meeting and she has yet to give me the her case regarding my children as she said that her manager hasn't read it. I am going to see her tomorrow at 4 pm and she will give me a copy. That leaves me no time to get any advocate or a solicitor to help me leave alone to speak up for me. The social worker has read her points what she is going to put into the conference this friday, ie- need to attend a parenting course, counselling for myself and other ways to support me and my family. My ex, my children's father has been called for the above meeting but he has already left to live with his present partner abroad so he will be unavailable to attend, but his eldest son from his previous marriage will attend. My friend said that she will attend the meeting with me and will speak for me as I need any support that I can get. The Social worker, child psychologist, childcare co-ordinator, attendance officer, liason officer, family group therapist, police officers etc. and any other professionals will be there as I do not know who will be attending. I am afraid as I do not want the Social Services to take my two young teenagers away from me as we are such a close knit family and I love my family very much.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading this lengthy message.
Softbrowneyes25

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Softbrowneyes25,

Hello and welcome to Parents Forum.
I am sorry that your family has been having such a difficult time, recently. I can see that it was necessary for the hospital doctors to make a referral to children’s services due to concerns about your daughter having self harmed. I am sorry to hear about your son being attacked-which has left him very anxious.

You have been doing the right thing by accessing the help your daughter and younger son need. However, children services are still concerned and want a child protection meeting to decide whether your children’s should have child protection plans.

Here is an advice sheet that explains what happens during a child protection investigation.
child protection procedures
You may also want to have a look at our film which shows a child protection meeting
film
First I would like to re assure you that a child protection plan does not mean that your children will be removed from you. A child protection meeting can only decide whether or not any of your children have a child protection plan or remain as children in need (with a plan) or have no plan.
If it was decided that there should be a plan-then the chair (person who manages the meeting) would draw up an outline plan. It would probably be similar to what the social worker has said she wants the family to do-you attend a parenting course, counselling and other support. The plan will also expect you to allow the social worker to come see your children and speak to them without you being present. They will also want the social worker to see your home and speak to you regularly. You will be expected to go to smaller core group meetings.
The professionals in the meeting would need to be sure that there is evidence that your children have suffered significant harm and there is a continuing risk that they will suffer significant harm before they agreed to a child protection plan.
If a child protection plan is made, it will lasts up to 3 months and then there will be a further meeting to see whether a further plan is needed.
I am sorry that you will not receive a copy of the social workers statement until the afternoon before the conference. This is not good practice. However, when she does take you thorough it-make sure that anything in it that is not correct is corrected. Also remind her of all the positive things. This might be the fact that you have cooperated with her assessment, that you are accessing the help that your children need, that you have supportive friends and family who can help you if need be. Your step son is coming to the meeting and you have a friend who will be supporting you as well.
Also think about the support that you might need as a family. For example, the care coordinator believes your son might benefit from a different type of school. If you agree with this-what steps are being taken to find one. What other help do you need as Mum to get your son into school. What about any family or friends- is there anyone who could help.
You will be able to speak at the meeting. The chair will want to hear your views after each professional has spoken. Sometimes parents write down the main points or prepare a statement to hand into the chair.
Are your older children attending the meeting? If they are –they may want to have an advocate or discuss the different options with one. They could speak to the national youth advocacy service-they have a helpline and may operate in your area. They may also want to put their views in writing-if this has not yet been done by the social worker.
NYAS

I hope this helps. Please post back if you need further advice. You could also contact our advice line for further support. It is open from 9:30 until 3:50 Monday to Friday.

Best wishes,
Suzie