Daisy111 wrote:Hi, new here, and reluctantly writing this.
Here goes! I'll try and make it as short as I can. My child was very unfortunately adopted 7 years ago. Of course an incredibly traumatic time for myself and my daughter. I was in a very abusive relationship for approx 8 months - physically, emotionally, mentally etc. And worst of all made me do hard drugs with the intent to get me addicted as another form of control. This was After I had set up home after a stay at a refuge.. I never became dependant on the substance but it was very hard to convince the CS at the time that I wasn't a drug addict under the control of my abuser. He harassed and continued to break into my home etc, after my 6 year old daughter was taken. And at one point held me by the throat and said he'd make sure I'd never get my daughter back and he done just so, as whatever he said to CS and SW (sw went to see him in prison, he'd finally been convicted from everything he had done to me.. at court he sacked his solicitor and attempted to cross examine me..) the SW never did tell me what he said but I was fighting a losing battle, at the time I was so broken and had no support whatsoever. None. I genuinely thought the CS was there to help me and even saw them taking my daughter into care with police, a blessing in disguise from the hell I was in. I was so wrong. As time went on I became healthy again but my mental health was up and down, I suffered ptsd, anxiety and depression.
What's brought me here is that I'm pregnant but have an abortion booked. I'm absolutely terrified to have another child, but I don't want to go through with the abortion. It doesn't sit right with me as it won't be the first! I was suicidal after my goodbye contact with my daughter. I doubt I'll survive another child taken from me. Especially at birth. I'm torn
Dear Daisy111
Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.
My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.
I am sorry that you have had such a difficult time over the years from being in a very abusive relationship and having your daughter removed from your care.
In your post you said you suffered mental health issues because of the relationship but you do not say how your health is now. A mental health issue is not in itself a reason not to be able to care for your child. It will depend on how ill a person is, whether their mental health condition is well managed, if medicated then the person is medication compliant.
You are worried whether you would be able to keep your baby. I cannot give you a clear cut answer. Children’s services are likely to become involved because of historical concerns but if you have made significant changes to your life and in a much better place, then they will look at you as you are now. Children’s services would carry out an assessment but not until quite late into the pregnancy usually around 20 weeks plus
You may find it helpful to read information from our
frequently asked questions about what happens if you have already had a child removed from your care. I have also included our advice sheet
Child protection procedures which gives more detailed information about child protection procedures which may be what children’s services consider. Alternatively, it could be child in need where you could be offered support to safely care for your baby. Please read our advice sheet about
Family support.
I hope this will help you in making your decision but you could also have a conversation with children’s services where you are now asking about a ‘what if’ situation and this might give you an idea of what the expectations might be.
If you wish to speak more to an adviser about your situation, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open form 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.
I hope you find this helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
