Social services

[Rh92]

Hi all my partner and I had a argument over tx which lead to me being arrested the following day for harassment as u slept in her shed for the night as nowhere else to go. I got released with nfa later that night. Since then ss have been in touch with my ex partner saying that I cause various risk and can not be around her children. They have closed her case as she stated we are no longer seeing each other. WE ARE. They won't tell her what these risk are and they won't tell me. I have a up to date s37 report from going thru court for access to my youngest daughter which allows me to have over night contact un supervised. Any help on this would be amazing as we are both confused as she thinks that ss will just come take her children away from her. Thanks all

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Ry92,

Welcome to the Parents Forum.
I am sorry to hear that children’s services have been involved with your partner’s children. You say that she was told that you are not allowed near her children. This has not been explained to her (or you). She is ignoring children services and is still allowing you to have contact with her children.

You point out that a family court has allowed you to see your daughter every weekend and overnight unsupervised. Understandably, you are saying that you can’t be a risk to children if a court allows it.

I wonder whether children services are worried about domestic violence. You say the police were called after an argument between you and your current partner. The best way to find out would be for your partner to ask for a copy of the assessment by children services. She is entitled to this. It should set out why they have asserted you are dangerous to her children.

If it is domestic violence, then it is seen as being harmful to children who witness it or experience it. For example, research shows that children can be “emotionally” abused or traumatised by seeing a parent hurt, upset or controlled by a partner.
Or a child can get “physically” abused or injured or worse, if they try to protect a parent or get caught in the cross-fire.
So any abuse might happen when you and your partner are together. This may not be the circumstances when you see your own daughter at the weekends.

I know you are not a birth father to your partner’s children but you may be a father figure. You could look at our FAQ’s for fathers about domestic violence .

If you think this is your situation you could discuss call the confidential helpline at Respect for advice. You could discuss the incident. Ask them could this be domestic violence?
I think it is unfair that children services have just closed the case with this assertion against you left on the records. It may come up in respect to the court case, if CAFCASS do further background checks.
Should your partner continue to do the opposite of what children services say?
No she should cooperate. If children services find out (as they most likely will) that she is allowing someone who they assess as risky to see her children, it may escalate up to a compulsory child protection plan-so much heavier intervention.
If the risk is domestic violence, your partner’s children may be at risk of suffering significant harm by witnessing a further incident if you both ignore the agreement.
Your partner could look at the Women’s Aid website .

If your partner wants to continue to see you, she should let children services know this so that a risk assessment can be done.

I hope this advice helps. If it isn’t domestic violence that could be a worry I apologise but I would urge mum to get a copy of the assessment so she knows what is the alleged risk.
If you have any questions please post back or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie