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[May12345]

Hi all.

Our journey has just got a lot tougher. It feels like war atm. This week is pretty intense with Core group review yesterday, PLO meeting today that was a disaster and I’ve barely stopped crying since. My second session with Lucy Faithfull tomorrow which I’m looking forward to, Child protection review conference Thursday and an appointment with my solicitor Friday to discuss areas of the report that I’d like to question.

It’s my fault that the plo went so wrong today. My Mums been ill all last week still not well. The kids missed their Dad and despite the chair in the September conference saying they need a back up plan nothing has been sorted. Which left me the dilemma. I emailed the SW who was on AL and his manager to say that so intended to supervise contact in a public place due to my mum being ill all week and the kids suffering from not seeing their Dad. (I have evidence of their emotional health being damaged from two children at Camhs they’ve told Camhs that they are more sad and anxious because their Dads not home) a third child was so upset crying for them to give her Daddy back. Unfortunately the team manager was also off so I then contacted my solicitor to say I have intended to supervise in a public place and would write a risk assessment and f the area show how he will not be alone with them for a second.

Boy was I in trouble today. I addressed all risks in the report the main one being the possibility of reoffending online by having his phone in my bag during whole contact time. I walked next to him or behind slightly so I could always see him. The kids had family safety rules etc etc and the day went so well.

Team manager was fuming with me said I’d gone against the report (holy grail it seems) and didn’t care one jot that the kids missed him even said so could be making it up!!! Accused this in front of the legal teams!!! I was incredulous!!! I have done nothing illegal but she hates that I didn’t do as I was told. Going to a public place with my husband and our children on a Saturday for two hours without their say so. Absolutely obscene the way she spoke to me. My solicitor just sat there.

So now they will make a safeguarding agreement for me to sign to say I won’t supervise contact until it’s been reviewed by the dr psychologist. I will have he review with him after my three LF sessions and He will decide if I can safeguard our children from their Father and if he can ever come home.

Manager is also livid because I’ve been sending her guidelines that may benefit etc as they don’t appear to know what to do.

We have a six week deadline to have my review. If we don’t like the outcome we can appeal in a judicial review but I have no idea if this would have legal aid. Any advice appreciated and yes I know now I shouldn’t have supervised even in a public place but surely the world has gone mad. Even the other professionals yesterday said at least I’m open and honest I didn’t have to say but that counts for nothing apparently

[PerfectlySafeDad]

'a third child was so upset crying for them to give her Daddy back'.
My heart bleeds for you, your husband and the children being abused by the state's tyrannical (yet incompetent) safeguarding system. Yes, the world has gone mad. I don't know what advice to offer, because doing exactly as they say - 'co-operating' as it were - involves basically submitting to human rights violations; insanely strict and impracticable conditions for an indefinite foot-dragging length of time where no guarantees are given and promises are routinely broken. Your husband's offences, I am quite sure, do not justify this level of demonization and their lack of trust in you as a responsible parent with autonomy is deeply oppressive.
I've had a bad day myself, because my so-called Circles of Support and Accountability group accused me of emotionally manipulating my own son (11) because I had quietly encouraged him to feel free to ask for whatever contact arrangements he would like with me, when a so-called social Services expert comes to interview him soon (? meaning some time this year I guess).
I grabbed this chat with him not to manipulate him but to prevent manipulation! He's a shy lad ffs, so when interviewed by some stranger he's going to be reticent and it's been so long he's forgotten all the things we enjoyed doing (in perfect safety!!).
That's my concern, but it seems nobody in the safeguarding brigade can see in the slightest how this is one massive, twisted draconian moral panic.

[May12345]

Oh PSDIm so sorry too. You are saying what the SE should be saying! That your son can say his feelings and share them to hope that they may be acted on! That is not manipulation but encouragement to let his feeling be made known.

Further revelations since Tuesday. Conference was mid week staying on CPP most professionals including the Chair not quite understanding the decisions and severity of the supervision still but keen for our children to come off CPP as it’s near 2 years. Our dear courageous children wrote and attended for the conference. Our ten year old son reduced us to tears and he himself was also upset. The chair asked if there was anything he’d like to say. He said ‘Can Daddy come home today?’
Our 8 year old wrote that she’s trying her best to get her Daddy home for her birthday all she wants is her Daddy home. They all asked to see him more and for me to supervise. The SS all acknowledge their feeling but it doesn’t change anything!

My husbands PO went from saying that she didn’t know me to say if I understood his offences the nature etc etc and then when I had spoken (I spoke a lot) said that she can’t see how the psychologist came to his conclusion that my knowledge was superficial as she clearly agreed on many points I made on the possible contributory factors, importance of support for those etc etc I won’t bore you now but has anyone read the research evidence by Jackie Craissati? She’s fabulous.

The chair said how articulate the children were and we are so so proud. I also voiced how unprofessional the manager had been and said that IMO children’s services would prefer to eradicate the risk rather than manage it. I also said that aswell as us work with them they need to work with us.

I have a feeling we will need to appeal the psychologists revered opinion even after the review by going for a judicial review though of course I hope that doesn’t happen.

Another revelation is that my solicitor told me that this psychologist is used by the LA regularly.....does this make him still ‘independent’? I have also been in touch with another partner on another forum and she had an assessment by the same psychologist. Her solicitor and her husbands solicitor advised her and her husband to not see this psychologist again and said he is a partisan! I contacted one of the solicitors so far and she has said my solicitor can contact her for her to pass on the information....I await with bated breathe......