About to be indicted on indecent Images

[Cf88uk]

Hi folks

New here but wanted to ask some questions. I'm based in Scotland so that might change some of the things needed.

Basically I got arrested October 2018 for possession and distribution of indecent images. Stupidly I got into a conversation with an escort over whatsapp over the course of 2 weeks. We initially spoke about normal stuff and then it progressed into more and more taboo subjects(I will say that what was spoken about was never gonna happen as to. Me this was only sexting in my eyes as I had no intention of ever meeting her). Anyway, the talk progressed and I stupidly asked if she wanted an indecent image she agreed so I then went and searched for one online as I'd never viewed or possessed these images. I sent her the first one and asked if she wanted anymore and she agreed. I sent a further 2. Once I had sent the third one I realised what a stupid mistake I had made and went and blocked deleted her and the conversation and the photographs I had sent her. The very next evening about 10pm my home was raided and my partner and 2 children were witness to. Me being taken away in cuffs and all our electrical items taken away. It's now March and my solicitor has just got the first evidence through from the cps and the charge sheet. They are charging for possession and distribution but also coercion for me sending her pictures as she has said in her witness statement that these images were sent without her approval and i was the one doing all the talk. They have the chat logs which will show it wasn't unsolicited pictures and it wasn't a one way conversation. Will this be brought up and dropped or am i ****** about it?

Also since then my ex partner refused to speak to me. Or allow me home. So I've moved in with my dad since then and have been trying to work with social work to get access for. My children. It seems no matter how much I work with them they just fall back on the line the mother has say on if I'mAllowed access.

What I want to know is how will this likely proceed? I used an app to find these pictures and only saved 3 of the images but had to scroll through tk find these 3. Will I be charged with just the images I downloaded or will all images scrolled past on the app be brought up too. Also how likely is it I'll ever see my children again. It has been 5 and a half months I haven't seen them and my solicitor hasn't progressed anything h8jt for access rights for them.

I have done the online stop it now course but cannot afford to go to the one on one counselling that they offer also.

Thanks in advance

Edited by Suzie in line with the rules of use

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Cf88uk,

We are not able to advise people who live in Scotland as the law is different from England and Wales.

You could contact the Scottish Child Law Centre for advice about children law.

The
Just stop it Now helpline could advise you about support and resources available to you, as it operates throughout the UK wide.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[Nicenana]

Hi
I am also in Scotland. My son has just five weeks ago been sent to prison because he had a sexual chat with a 14 year old as well as he sent her pictures and she sent him some to. It was all consensual not that that makes it right or better. Truth be told he does not remember much about it as he had been drinking at the time. That all said, drink or not, it’s no excuse. What he did was very wrong and he’s now paying the price for it.
It took the police seven months to check his phone. Fortunately they found only the one person he had been talking to. Police were aware that the girl willingly sent pictures, they were also aware that she had instigated the sexual chat but that made no difference. Why not.? Because she was underage. I can understand that which is why although I will stand by my son and not live him less I can never condone what he did.!
In your case it’s very different. It’s one picture you sent. You shouldn’t have gone looking for any but we all make stupid mistakes in life. I’m certainly not judging you. To do that I’d be a hypocrite because of the situation we have found ourselves in.
If she asked you for the image I think she will be charged as well. If she discussed such issues with you I’d assume she’s as guilty as they think you are. The police will find the whole conversation from start to finish. I know this because of the case against my son. They will see if she has participated in the whole thing and if she has i very much doubt they will just bypass her. I don’t see how they can.
On the upside, in Scotland very few are being sent to prison for images unless it’s a high volume. I don’t agree with it but that’s how it is. Many people with a low number of images are given a caution and two years on the register. The trouble is to get a caution you have to admit guilt and know they are not going to find anything else at all in your system.
Good luck and do come back and tell us how you got on.

.

[Nicenana]

No PerfectlySafeDad

I’ve sent you a reply after working out how to.

[Nicenana]

Hi PerfectlySafeDad

I have been off here for a while as I was struggling with my son being in prison. I agree it can become a witch hunt. As you suspect my son is younger and still immature with it. He did wrong and is now being punished harshly for it. The only saving grace has been that our daughter did not go through hell with social services regarding her toddler son.
I sometimes wonder how the justice system works fairly. Here in Scotland my son was sentenced to 26 months for talking with the 14 year old. He will serve half of that. Three weeks after my son went to prison a new prisoner arrived on his hall. He had committed three brutal violent rapes( the judges words) and he got, wait for it, 6 years. That’s two years per rape which is less per rape than my son got for communicating with a 14 year old girl. Work that one out.
Also someone in the same prison physically sexually abused 8 children at different times over 30 years. What dis he get? 4 years.
My son did wrong, of that there’s no doubt but he never physically abused anyone or looked at abuse images yet he got the same or more than men ho have physically abused children. It’s hard to fathom it.
We have been l ft with no alternative but to try and get on with it and pick up the pieces along the way. The worst part for us is anyone finding out in the village we have moved to when he comes home. Does anyone have any positive outcome of having it all coming out and still staying in their villlage or town? If so has it vrything died down after.a while or do you get hassled? Any experiences from people would be appreciated. Thanks

[Maddog77]

I'm in Scotland also . Nicenana I really feel for u it's awfull situation to be in. I don't think there is ever a good outcome to these situations. I'm facing something very similar myself and find I have to jump threw hoops with social services. My husband was charged with a sexual offence against a minor 30 year ago which he failed to tell me about before marriage. Of course back then laws were different and S.O.R didn't exist. Anyway long story short he was fined for it and that was it. Fast forward 30 year and 2 children of his own. Disclosure was made to me and social work pretty much told me he could no longer be in the family home. Nor could he have any unsupervised contact with his children. Now I don't under any circumstances condone what he did and iv made that perfectly clear at all times. Iv co operated fully with social services etc. However I'm left wondering how they can make this decision . I have asked for risk assessment to be done several times and every time social work have refused. I'm left kind of confused not really knowing what to do tbh. Trying to pick up the pieces of a shattered world ! All I can do

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Maddog77

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thanks for your posts. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you and your family have experienced.

I see from your post that you live in Scotland. Unfortunately, we can only advise on the situation in England and Wales not Scotland.
You may be able to access advice or information from the following organisations though:

Scottish Child Law Centre

Clan Childlaw

Stop in Now! Scotland


With best wishes

Suzie

[Maddog77]

Hi Suzie
It's ok I was aware that u cannot provide advice due to different laws within Scotland but thank u for taking the time to reply anyway.

People make mistakes and I get that totally just some are more serious than others.

For me it is what it is ! I can't change it, but only learn to try and deal with it .
To keep something as hugh as this a secret from your wife is one thing , but to allow 2 innocent children to enter the marriage just takes it to a whole new level !!! . Warning bells start to ring!!
I don't care about the pain and hurt I'm going threw because I'll do what I always do and that is stay strong and get threw it. However I feel very sad for my kids as this will follow them all threw life and that's just not fair.

Iv learned a lot threw this process, mainly being that as a mother I have to ensure my children are protected and are able to live in a safe and secure environment without fear . They are my life and will always come before any man ,simple as that !

I can't judge anyone else on choices they make as everyone has to do what's best for their own family needs. But for me personally in my situation I feel it's better to be safe than sorry .

I wish everyone else the best of luck with moving forward in life ! It most certainley is not an easy task

Take care and best wishes x

[Nicenana]

Hi mad dog 77

I’m sorry to hear your in a similar situation to us. It’s a horrible club that nobody wants to be in but we are left with little option, especially when it’s your son.
We were lucky with social services. They closed the case and said they won’t be back after our son comes out of prison unless they her that our grandson has been unsupervised by our son. Obviously we will not allow anything unsupervised as we know the consequences.
I think it’s a bit different for us because our son does not stay in th same house as his sister and our grandchild. I think it would have been much worse with the social services had we all lived together.
I find the whole thing very hard because you have to be so careful who you talk to about it.
I joined another forum here the members have started contacting each other through mumsnet etc. They have a thought to set up real life meetings face to face in a support group type of thing. I think for a lot of people that may help but it may cause issues to. How does anyone know that a journalist or the like won’t be pretending just to do a report on the group. You really can’t win in this club.
Please do let me know how you ge on with the social services as we are still afraid that thy may turn up when our son leaves prison even although thy have said case closed and we won’t b back when he comes out.

[PerfectlySafeDad]

'I find the whole thing very hard because you have to be so careful who you talk to about it'.

This is a very telling sign of a witch hunt. One bad word from somebody - anybody - one thowaway remark and they're in ... launching their investigations and 'risk assessments' (an absolutely awful insidious term that has enabled people's family lives to be profoundly disrupted based on these assholes' guesses on what 'might happen' and driven primarily by a legal need to cover their backs, as opposed to truly care about children.)

'we are still afraid that thy may turn up when our son leaves prison even although thy have said case closed and we won’t be back when he comes out'.

You're right to be afraid. They can't be trusted to keep their word and not move goalposts, either out of slyness or just rank incompetence.

The whole business of child protection is an utter witch hunt in the way social services (and other agencies) conduct it. "We have a duty.." cuts absolutely no ice with me. Anybody can claim to be a thing, but it's how you carry it out that counts. It needs to be carried out proportionately, which means taking into account the effects of any safeguarding decisions on the parents and family involved. They talk and carry on as if this side of things doesn't matter or even exist at all. They're all but inaccountable, with any mistakes or cruel decisions they make protected by the secrecy of family law. They hide behind the fact these are to protect the sensitivity of the children, but they twist it to their ends to cover up whatever they do. They carry it out with harshness, insensitivity and arrogance. They think themselves beyond reproach precisely because of the holy calling they've been given - child protection - as if that allows for any manner of harsh life-changing directives enforced on a parent.