Protective parenting assessment, psychologist assessment, parenting course, trying to do all I can to show I’m capable!

[Butterfly Mama]

Hi, I’ve now been involved with children’s services for around a year, I was referred when around 20 weeks pregnant due to my partners history with CS with his previous children in which one was hurt and then both end up taken from both parents under a SGO with a family member.

My daughter is now 8 months old and all my partners contact is so far still having to be supervised by my mum. He had a psychological assessment and was deemed as low risk but that the risk could quickly rise to medium in certain situations. There was a protective carers assessment and risk assessment done on me and my partner over 2 weeks and I was deemed as having protective qualities but that they were compromised because I was too defensive over my partner and his history and that I dismissed his psychological assessment apparently (I do not dismiss it and just commented on parts that I disagreed on, I was not asked to comment on what I actually agreed with which was in fact the majority of it) so now I have to have extra sessions, do a parenting course and be assessed of my protective capabilities by a psychologist rather than a social worker. Next court date isn’t until September and I don’t believe anything is going to change in supervision at least until then my daughter will be a year old by then without anything having progressed re supervision at all. I’m so frustrated and just want to show that my daughter is and always will be my first priority but they don’t seem to accept that I am protective enough to supervise at all! I just want to scream sometimes.

Any advice on how to show my protective capabilities moving forward and how to deal with these sessions courses and the psychological assessment would be very much appreciated. I just want to do everything I can the best I can for my daughter and my family. If anyone has any thoughts on extra stuff I could do off my own back as well then please let me know as I want to do everything possible to prove myself.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Butterfly Mama,

Welcome to the Parents forum.

It looks like there are care proceedings, is that right? If so, have a look at the advice sheet about care proceedings.
You have undertaken a protective carer’s assessment. However, they said you minimized your partners risk as you dismissed the psychological assessment and you were also defensive about your partner.
You say you did not dismiss it but commented on the parts you disagree with. In fact you found most of it to be accurate. Now you are having extra sessions to help you see the risk he poses, doing a parenting course and having a psychological assessment.
Given there is worry that you might be minimizing the risk of your partner, I suggest you look back at why your partner’s children were removed as it might help give you more insight.
Your partner hurt an older child of his and his older children were removed by children services after there were care proceedings.
Was there any other issues that the court were concerned with such as domestic violence? If so, are children’s services worried you have been groomed by your partner? I only say this as they seem concerned that you are minimizing his risk.
Why did the children not stay with their mother? Do you have a full picture of what had happened? Have you seen any reports from the original proceedings to get a full idea of what happened?
Your partner’s psychological assessment was that he was low risk but at times escalated to medium risk. Have you thought about what these triggers are and how you would be able to recognise them so you could take steps to protect her? What steps would you need to take?
Also ask the social worker and your solicitor what else you need to do?
Here is information about psychological assessments.
Has a family group conference been considered to look for other support within the family? This is a meeting when family and friends in your network are invited (with your consent) to a meeting to formulate a plan of support. At such a conference, details of your partners risk would be shared with those invited and everyone would consider what support they could offer.
Otherwise I can only advise you to continue being cooperative and with children services and your solicitor.
If you have any questions please post again.
Best wishes,
Suzie