Child vocalising opinions

[QuestionMark]

Hello,

I'm not the resident parent and I see my child on weekends. Childs vocalising more and more that they "no likes daddy" or they "wants mammys house" and will hide behind the sofa and says "it's not fair". I'm worried about what this is doing to them emotionally; if they feels I'm not listening to them now, when they're so bravely articulating themselve (they're only young), then will they feel they can talk to me about things as they grows? I don't know what to do but i know that if I tell the local authority I'll be accused of either lying or coaching them - which isn't the case at all. I get excited for them when getting them ready to return to their dad, yet they still make it clear they doesn't want to go. My family have witnessed this but they can't say anything either or we'll all be accused of lying or something.

What can I do?

[QuestionMark]

Also just wanted to add that come October I will get 1 overnight stay a week with child thanks to childs dad, so it's really good child will have time with both of us - I just don't know how to explain to child that child has to leave due to FC orders; I want my child to know that I'm not shutting them down and that I'm their for them and that they will have both of their parents in their life

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear QuestionMark

From what you say in your post you are having regular contact with your young daughter and she does not always want to leave to go back to her father.

I note your concerns about how you think your daughter might feel if she believes she is not being listened to. Since she is so young and contact is going to increase later in the year, I think both you and her father should have a chat with her explaining that she lives with daddy but you will both be there for her and she will come to see you more.

When things are explained to her in an age appropriate way I think it will be enough for her that both her mummy and daddy understand.
If you and father are not able to have a conversation with your daughter then you could perhaps ask children services to assist in helping your daughter to understand the current living arrangements.

The only alternative if you think your daughter is not happy living with her father would be to apply to the court to discharge the child arrangement order and make one in your favour. The court, as you know, will make its decision based on what is best for your daughter.

Best wishes

Suzie