Being allowed back home

[Needanswers]

2 weeks ago we had the police at our door saying that my partner is not allowed to be around his children due to an investigation against him, they took electronic devices and mobile phone, I left our home with our children went to my parents home as my partner had no other place to go, social services then turned up the next day but still didn’t give any answers to what was happening, 3 days later we were then informed that there is an investigation regarding obcenec publication which, my partner had a voluntary interview with the police who said it was something that happend last year, we had a meeting with social services who have said my partner was involved in a convocation with a few member who would discuss different kinds of sexual things, he has now been allowed supervised contact with his children, but I am still confused about the whole situation? Why are we not allowed to be in the same home as him why carnt our family be back together? He has not been charged with anything from the police so do not no why we carnt all be back home as a family

[Needanswers]

Can anyone please help

[Keepgoing]

My partner had breaches his order but not reoffending he’s just moved on and wanted a family like any normal person. Once I found out I asked him to leave till we had everything dealt with the good reason I got told was I was safeguarding my children and that makes them see that u can give the best protection for the kids my husband still isn’t aloud to see his own daughter and might not be able to see his step children till his court date and sopo has been redone as he has children now we have been told that I have done anything to protect my children and they are closing the child in need Assessments the next thing we have been made aware of is Lucy faithful foundation which do deeper risk assessments for him to return home I hope but that can’t be done till after the court date and decision so I’d be careful with ss because they will try and scare u to see if ur a good mum and be able to see the signs of it all so don’t push them because they will ask why are u pushing for him to come home ?? Follow everything u can but don’t be a push over just tread carefully with them coz other wise they will see ur kids at risk and be taken into care worse case. But they don’t like doing it to much paper work. I want my life back but I understand how serious it is So all we can do is wait n then I will be going through every course to help me become a supervisor. Because quicker that happens quick he can come home x hope this helps

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Keepgoing,

Welcome to the Parents Forum and I am sorry for the delay in responding to your post.

I can see children services became involved with your family after the authorities found out your husband had breached a condition of the sex offenders register. You had no idea of his conviction.

You have been positively assessed by children services. You protected your daughter and step children by asking your husband to move out of the family home. They saw that you are someone who recognises that he may still be risky to children and have safeguarded them.

Children services have closed their case-until the criminal court have dealt with your husband’s breach of the conditions.

You say that children services have decided to get the Lucy Faithfull Foundation to carry out an in-depth assessment of your husband although this won’t happen until the criminal proceedings have been completed. This is good news. You will have a good idea at the end of the assessment whether ort not your husband is risky to his children.
Until then, it may be a bit of a waiting game for you. You are accessing support-a supervisor’s course. You could also look at the Protectors course run by the NSPCC. Women as Protectors.
I am not sure what else you can do at this stage.

It is good news that you have been able to tell your family and friends about your husband’s conviction. Even though your family are unhappy about you staying in your marriage, it sounds like they want to protect you and the children in case he is still risky.
Sometimes, a parent can be groomed by a sex offender, which means a protective parent like you could minimize the risk they might pose to children. So children’s services will be happy that you are having an open dialogue with family and friends who have a different view point. They may have assessed your network as being protective of your children. See our information about
assessments.

If your husband is allowed to have contact with the children in the future, then family or friends could be assessed to supervise his contact and this will give you a break.

If you have any questions or need further advice or support, please post again.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Keepgoing]

Update he is aloud to see his children but not his step children only his daughter with his mum being supervisor but upon asking about being able to do things still try n focus on our future where asked social care if we could view houses together with just me and his daughter and him they said yes and then we had people ring social workers saying that they have seen us together and seen his car in the area now they saying they doing a conference for child protect but now I feel they changing to goal posts telling me I can n then now say I shouldn’t of done that I don’t get how they can change the rules in the last two days I have had to sign an agreeement that he can’t be alone with me or my daughter stay different rules to what they told me in the first place. This is the only paper work I have had and it’s bin going on for 3 months now and I read that they should of given me paper work of a copy of the safety plan but I wasn’t even given one or all I was told to do is keep them away from him which I have done from day one n now because I’ve asked permission before doing something I wasn’t sure about I asked n they says yes but now I’m being puaniahed for something they told me I could do. Get solicitor involve and hoping I can get some form rules because I have so many mixed signals and from day one have have done what I have been told to do but now they changing there mind ??? They given me no paper work now they have had people ring up they following up I get but how can they say I have keeper my kids safe but now moving my child to child protect conference and still no confirmation on anything there doing as my social worker is off and wasn’t him that told me it was going to child conference I feel so torn how can I protect my kids when they telling me this and that and contradicting what they saying from day one. End of my tether ;(

[Bungalee]

You must ALWAYS get in writing anything you agree with social services. Make sure you are always covered. It's too easy for things to be misinterpreted or for them to say they did/didn't agree to anything beforehand. GET IT IN WRITING!!!

[Needanswers]

Nearly 6month and still heard nothing from the police, social services are still visiting me every 6weeks to see how me and my children are doing they still haven’t told me anything apart from there is an investigation against my party we, my partner has still heard nothing regarding what is happening, I am still having to live at my parents house in ther small bedroom with 2 children under the age of 2 they have done nothing to help me, I’m sick of them coming round and sitting there with no answers, I have tried to contact the police my self only to be told nothing, with Christmas coming I would like for all this to be over and my children back at home we’re they should be celebrating Christmas as a family instead my children will not be allowed over for Christmas unless they have supervised contact My family don’t no the situation and I really don’t want them to no anything but as time goes on I don’t no what to do any more