Sex offender

[Lalalahehehe]

Edit due to re reading and post sounding like gibberish as i am stressed

The father of my kids is serving 10 months over indecent images. Jailed in October
He has handles SS involvement badly. He tried to in a sense to make it look better by saying he did not mean to so it which has not helped as the police can now prove otherwise plus he is now in prison. His mum and brother kept encouraging him that he could "get away with it" which did not help
I want to support his as i know he was just curious and is not interested in kids
I believe when he comes out that he can reduce his risk with treatment which he will have to pay they won't
We are awaiting a date in court and are on a supervision order i fear for a care order they want dad to have zero contact He disagrees as does guardian and I.
SS back supervision order Guardian backs Care order and children in my care

[ange301126]

dear lalalalahehehe,

I recommend you keep contact with this forum now you have begun and await advice from suzie who will contact you shortly with information on your family rights. In the meantime be very careful what you do and think very carefully before signing anything such as an S20 VOLUNTARY ACCOMMODATION AGREEMENT or an agreement to care for your children in a certain way.I especially advise you not to sign the former under any circumstances ;sometimes social workers will make threats such as if you don't agree to one they will remove your parental rights.In fact they cannot do this. It happened quite recently to a woman on this forum who fell for it and she has now lost her child. The C.S. have a duty to apply to a Court if they think your children are at imminent risk and to present the court with all evidence. Sometimes if they have no evidence they will try to interfere disproportionately with your life without one and get you to sign an S20. IF THEY ASK YOU TAKE IT AS AN INDICATION THAT THEY AIM TO KEEP YOUR CHILDREN FROM YOU.
As far as the voluntary care agreements go,these are often used by social workers later as an excuse to take you to court. If you deviate from some detail inthe agreement they will use it as evidence to a court that you are untrustworthy and they are unable to work with you.

Unfortunately you have entered into something of a minefield and now you have accessed this site you will get good advice from the FRG. Also they have an advice line. Remember that they are the professionals not me and I am only a parent giving you the benefit of my own personal experiences and opinion.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear lalalahehehe

My name is Suzie, I am an advisor here at Family Rights Group. Thanks for posting on our discussion board. I am sorry to hear of the difficult time your family has had.

From reading your post, I have one primary piece of advice to offer. You say you do not agree with the contact arrangements made by the court and Children's Services. You also say the Chidlren's Guardian does not agree, nor does one of your partner's psychological assessors. I am guessing your partner himself does not agree either. My advice is that you leave it to your partner and his lawyer, as well as the professionals mentioned, to argue this issue. My advice to you is that you work cooperatively with the social workers, whether you agree with them or not, to safeguard the children. At this stage you are hoping not to move from a supervision order to a care order. This is not the time to raise these issues. There are several other people who can raise the contact issue.

Please feel free to call our advice line if you would like to speak to an advisor.

All the best
Suzie

[familyguy]

I would like to give you advice as im also involved with social servies due to my past, if you have signed the s20 paper work have you been given a date for when you are due in court? if so you should be given a new social worker, as me and my partner are in the same boat. I would say tho get ur lawyer to look over the paper work first, and I can tell you now that social services will push u into siging it asap however you have the right for ur lawyer to look at it first.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi lalalahehehe

Just to add to my previous advice, you should be aware that a section 20 agreement, may or may not involve a change of social worker, depending on the role of the current social work team, so a good tactic to demonstrate your willingness to cooperate from an early stage.

Therefore, as stated before, raise your concerns with your solicitor in the first instance.

Best Wishes


Suzie

[Lalalahehehe]

...Court is now set for 14th of Feb My babies birthday
“have no idea over the whole court and SS business.”

[Murray72]

Lala,
I was just wondering what your relationship with the Children's guardian is like? you say in your last post that the Guardian is supporting the care order, have you discussed this with them and asked why they support it? The Child's Guardian can often be the key to successful outcomes, the Judge vary rarely goes against a Child's Guardian but the Guardian can go against CS. They can also suggest work and additional assessments if they feel this is appropriate.

CS will view your continued contact with your partner a risk of future harm. The Prison will probably not permit cards from a minor and should not be allowing your partner to send post to an address where a minor is living. CS can obtain all records from prison as to who and when he has made phonecalls etc and will probably produce this as evidence in the court proceedings if they go for a Care Order.

It is unclear from your posts but am I assuming you want to resume your relationship with when he is released? If this is correct then this will be a concern to them with regards to the kids.

I would personally suggest you find some way of re-educating yourself with regards to the risk posed, and help you understand the way a sex offender works. There is some very good research on this subject by a man called David Finkelhor, his research is very current and informative, and a complete eye opener.

[mimzy1991]

Yeah if your in prison for a crime against a minor your not allowed anything or to send anything to a minor. My Mum's partner wasn't allowed to send his grandchildren birthday cards when he was inside. Apparently social services can liaise between the prison service for him to have visits but they will then probably go on to use this against you in the future. You cant win with these people.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Lalala

You have had some useful advice already but I noticed that you said you “have no idea over the whole court and SS business.” Do you have any particular questions that I could try to help you with? It might help you to read our care proceedings advice sheet, which has detailed information about the court process and types of orders. Alternatively, you might want to look at our interactive web-pages for information.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Lalalahehehe]

On a care order he gets 1 hour every 8 weeks with his 3 kids i think it is a joke no matter what i do to try to show them i see the risk and want to manage it my kiddies miss their dad
We will both do whatever work we can to work to family life