Disregarding a SGO.

[Mulkerrins127]

Hi I’m looking for a bit of advice of how I can disregard a SGO.

I have a 4 year old daughter who was placed under a SGO with my sister 2 years ago. At the time of the proceedings I was in a domestic violence relationship, I wasn’t working, I didn’t have a stable place to live, I was using cannabis and my mental health was unstable. So it was the right decision for my daughter to live with my sister while I sorted my life out.

For the first 3 months after court I had to have supervised contact once a week I never missed a session and passed my 3 months. After that it was down to my sister to decide what the contact arrangements where. We both decided that I would still have supervised contact but at my sisters house and 2 times a week. I done that contact for a whole year. After the year me and my sister sat down and discussed the contact arrangements again. She decided that my life had so many positive improvements that I could have my daughter from Friday to Sunday every week.

So I have been having my daughter for the past year now she comes to me on a Friday afternoon stays over night until Sunday evening. The arrangement has been working great. My daughter loves coming here with me we honestly have so much fun together.
I provide everything for her here as well. We have just had the 6 weeks school holiday come to a end I had my daughter for 2 weeks straight. When it was time for her to go home she got really upset wouldn’t let go off me and said she didn’t want to go home back to my sisters. It absolutely broke my heart seeing her like that.

Recently me and my sister have had a bad argument where we are now not talking. The weekend is coming up I should be having my daughter tomorrow until Sunday. But my sister text me saying she is not coming as apparently she has things to do before she starts full time school next week. (Which is not true). She then told me that she is reducing my time with my daughter to just twice a month now! I am absolutely heart broken it has really put me down. She is doing this because she is jealous that I’ve found a partner (who I’ve been with 10 months) who treats me how I should be treated, thinks the world of my daughter and provides for all of us. She is using my daughter as a weapon.

So after a long thought I would love to go back to court to have my daughter back in my care full time. The court told me 2 years ago that if I wanted her back my life would of had to have significant changes which it has. I am no longer in a domestic violence relationship, I had a job which I held down and provided for my daughter, I am no longer smoking cannabis, I have my own place which I have held down for 2 years, my mental health is stable and has been for over a year now I’m not longer under mental health services and I’m also 31 weeks pregnant! Which social services where involved they done a pre-birth assessment and closed the case as they have no worries at all! And I’m going back to work in February. So i think my life has changed significantly.

I spoke to my old solicitor who helped through the court case 2 years ago and I’m no longer entitled to legal aid so I would have to pay privately. The problem is that she is has given me a rough estimate of £5000 by the time the court case is over! I can not afford that all especially with a baby due in 9 weeks time but I am so desperate to have my daughter back home with me where she belongs.

Can someone please help me on what I can do or if I represent my self in court how do I do it what are the first steps? I’m stuck in a situation.

My sister is aware I am going to be taking her to court as well.

Sorry the post is so long but if someone can give me advice on what I can do and where to start in going court it would be very much appreciated. I need my little girl back with me.

Thank you for reading.

[QuestionMark]

Hi,

So sorry to hear what you’ve been through but so so happy for you that you’ve turned your life around and congratulations on the new baby! I find stories like yours so inspirational and I can only hope my life will progress in the same way yours has.

I think before going to court privately they require that you try family mediation first - you can contact these services yourself and you will need to pay but it won’t be anywhere near what it costs for a solicitor! If that doesn’t work, have you thought about varying the order? If there was a court order in place for the minimum contact they wanted you to have, you could apply to have that order changed to the Friday - Sunday agreement you previously had. That way it’ll be court ordered so your sister can’t take it away - and it provides stability for your daughter, her relationship with you and the relationship she should have with her sibling.

Your sister should not be using your daughter to inflict pain, and I’m so sorry this is happening. I hope this advice helps, best of luck!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mulkerinns127,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum and thank you for posting.

I can see that your 4 year old daughter was placed with your sister under a special guardianship order 2 years ago.

Since that time you have made massive changes in your life and a pre- birth assessment by children services has officially confirmed those changes. Children services are so happy with what you have achieved, they see no reason to become involved with your unborn baby. You have to commended for turning things around.

You describe how you have maintained and built up contact with your daughter from supervised contact to you having contact every weekend unsupervised and part of the holidays. Clearly, contact has been going well and your daughter has benefited form having such regular contact with you. You and your sister seem to have had a good and trusting relationship with each other.

I am sorry to hear that you and your sister have had an argument. This has resulted in your contact with your daughter being reduced to only twice a month. This seems quite a reduction considering how often your daughter was seeing you.

Here is information about SGO’s which links off to our advice sheets .

The most important thing to note about SGO’s is that your sister will have enhanced legal parental responsibility in respect of your daughter so has the legal power to make most decisions about your daughter without having to consult you.

Have you and your sister been able to have a conversation to see whether you can sort out your differences? Will she agree that contact at the same level resumes? That is what your daughter is use to and enjoyed, would this not be in your daughter’s best interests?

If you cannot agree with the decisions that are being made or want your daughter to live back with you (and your sister does not agree) then you need to consider going back to the family court.

If you have tried to sort out things directly with your sister, and have not got anywhere then the next step is having a mediation MIAM appointment. (In some cases-for example, where there has been domestic violence mediation is not allowed). Look at the Family Mediation Council for information about MIAM appointments and how to find a mediator.

If no, agreement can be reached via mediation, then you can make an application to court.

I can only give a basic outline about going to court to revoke a SGO, as this private law matter and is not within our remit. For detailed legal advice you could contact the Child Law Advice Line .

To revoke a SGO, you first have to get “leave” or permission from the court to make the application. The court will only give leave if;
• there has been a “significant change of circumstances” since the Special Guardianship Order was made; and
• it has considered the welfare of your daughter and there is a chance of you being successful in your application to end the order.

Usually, you would put in a leave application and the main application together. From what you say, you seem to have an arguable case-things have changed substantially since the SGO was made.
The court when deciding whether it is in the best interests of your daughter would use the welfare checklist to help them-see here.
In case, your application to revoke is not successful you may also want to consider applying for a contact order as well given how much contact you were having.
Children services can also provide support to help with contact. Please see page of our advice sheet about SGO’s.


I hope this advice helps. If you have any questions please post again.

Best wishes,

Suzie