Pregnant by my exe from one night stand and children on child in need register

[Xxjojoxx123]

Hi,

My children are on a care in need plan, which is looking at being stepped down, their was 2 insistances of dv , my youngest daughter dad. After the first time we started working with social care as a family, but then their was a second bout and i told him to go, he has mental health issues, and has trouble controlling his anger when he does get angry. So we are not in a relationship, but he still comes around regularly to see his daughter and i have all his other children around on a Sunday so they all see each other, we are still great friends and my social worker know this is all still going on and their happy with everything. They havent got no problem with me as a parent and my social worker often praises me of what a good parent i am, the issue was the dv, we started doing work together for 6 weeks on the subject, but we had to stop due to corona virus. She is now looking at the family solutions doing it as well as with my daughters dad as he wants to do more work, he has already completed a 12 weeks dv course. Here is the issue I just found out I am pregnant as we had a one time thing about 10 to 12 weeks ago and i am worried my children will be taken off me. Can anyone please advise, know one else knows I am pregnant not even the child's father.

Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear xxjojoxx123,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum. My name is Suzie, FRG’s online adviser.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I can see that children services are involved due to domestic violence and dad’s mental health.
There is a child in need plan but because things have been going so well, it sounds like children services intend to close the case.

You and dad separated but you are on good terms. You spend a lot of time with him when he has contact with your youngest daughter. The social worker is aware of this. You and dad have not fully completed the domestic violence support due to the corona virus. Is dad getting support for his mental health?

You have fallen pregnant by him and are worried about telling the social worker.
I know it’s not easy, but it is very important you tell her as soon as you can. This is so she can risk assess to see whether you need more support. If dad is still considered dangerous to you, he could still be dangerous to your children. Being pregnant makes you at higher risk of suffering domestic violence.

If you did not tell the social worker, she will find out another way (via the midwife or GP). It is much better that you are open and honest. Do you have an independent domestic violence advocate (IDVA) who could help you communicate with the social worker?

Here are our FAQ’s about domestic violence.

Children services can only remove your children if you agree to it or if a court orders it.
Is this likely? If so, then it is important that you speak to a child law solicitor.

I hope this advice helps. If you need further advice, please post again or call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Xxjojoxx123]

Hi Susie,

The social worker is looking at stepping it down some can get more support through the family solutions centre. I have family support workers but not heard anything in a while for due to the corona virus. I have a lovely social worker, we get on very well, so not to worried about telling her, just was more worried about my other children because of the pregnancy, suppose was looking for a little reassurance.
We have been open to working with them from the get go, and have done everything, and asked to do certain courses etc. And asking to do more, the last incident was a year ago, when he moved out, ever since then their has been no incidents. He stays away if he is feeling angry etc.
There has been no mention of going to court ever, my social worker is always praising me how good of a mum I am and a good advocate for my children. And I certainly would never agree to giving them up.

Thank you so much for the advice.