Don't know where to turn

[Muminneed]

This is a complicated situation so will make it as brief as possible 3 years ago after splitti g from my children's dad I met my childhood sweat heart we started dating again and things were going well my children's dad didn't like new partner and as he was an ex drug addict and after a while they had few disagreements my new partner had a secret drinking problem which when he had too much could make him violent my children's dad reported me to Cs and they became involved unfortunately during this time my partner did assault me which led ro me getting him done by police and he was sent to jail for 14 weeks as he had previous dv on his record this was 2 years ago I have recently bumped into him again and long story short I'm now pregnant and scared as I don't know what to do now Cs signed me off as we had split and I had moved out of the home and was looking for a new place I know once kids dad finds out he is going to get Cs involved again I'm just not sure what to do or what will happen I have no idea where to turn for help or advice

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Muminneed,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group online adviser.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I can see that children services have been involved with your family before. This was because your partner was domestically abusive and abuses alcohol. It seems that you worked well with the social worker so protecting your children and the case was closed. That is good news as children services will know they can work with you.

it is likely that children services will become involved again. The midwife or your GP should make a referral to them because the father of your unborn baby may still be dangerous to you and your children. You can also self- refer.

You want to know what will happen when children services become involved again.
The social worker will want to carry out an assessment to see whether you need any further support to protect your children and your unborn child. Being pregnant also makes you at higher risk of suffering domestic violence. It is very likely they will want to remain involved until your baby is born.

They may offer support to you via a child in need plan (with your consent) or via a child protection plan if they suspect your children are at an ongoing risk of suffering significant harm such as emotional abuse or physical abuse due to your new partner. Your unborn baby can also go on a child protection plan. This is so plans can be made around protecting your baby once s/he is born.
I notice that you and your children had to move homes before due to your partner’s history of violence. This suggests that he may be high risk to you.
As your new partner is the father of your unborn baby, children’s services will normally contact him so they can assess his risk and refer him for support such as to a domestic violence programme (see Respect ) and support for his alcohol use. However, if this will put you and your children at greater risk they may not contact him until they know you are safe.

For information about children services involvement please look at our FAQ’s about domestic violence.

I advise you to contact the domestic violence 24 hour support line on 0808 2000 247 or look at Refuge’s website. You could find out what help is available locally. You might be able to get an Independent domestic violence advocate (IDVA) who could help you communicate with the social worker and access the right help.

I hope my advice helps but if you have any questions please post again. To get more from us please call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie