Mental health

[FallingFlowers]

A few years ago D was removed from my care. Findings of fact left me in a pool of perpetrators, and other issues were domestic abuse and dishonesty.

I have done so much to improve, courses, divorce etc and I am now studying for a degree.

I was wondering if they can used failed completion of therapy against you? I attended for 3 months for trauma, then had to rearrange twice and was told if I didn't attend the next I'd be discharged. I was en route to the appointment but then a family member was ill that I had to take care of and so I was discharged.

I then referred for counselling but then felt I didn't need it anymore (so much time passes while on waiting lists that I'd began to heal myself). I referred both via the university and to rape crisis for an assault from years ago that was raised in family court, so I thought I needed to work through it all but as I said, so much time passed I began to heal on my own and I didn't want to reopen a healing wound by going back over it all.

My mental health is much better now, and so dont seen a need to go back to therapy. Could they use this against me?

I'm trying to do everything right so, if I do fall pregnant one day, I dont lose that baby.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear FallingFlowers,


Welcome to the Parent’s Forum. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter after care proceedings. That must have been so difficult for you.

You say you were left in the pool of perpetrators so she could not come back to you. You had suffered domestic and sexual violence as well.
Is she placed with relatives and friends and do you still have contact with her?

It sounds like you have completed the support that was suggested except the therapy that you were recommended. You say you have moved on now and feel that you have been healed so wonder whether you still need therapy. Your argument is that if you are well why do you need therapy.

It is very difficult for me to give an answer to you. If you fell pregnant, children services would want a further expert assessment of you, maybe by the same expert who assessed you originally. It makes sense that if you had completed the therapy then there is more of a chance that you would pass the assessment.
Is it worth contacting the psychologist or psychiatrist who made the recommendation for therapy and ask to be re- assessed even though you had not completed the therapy? Explain why you believe you have healed.

Could your mental health deteriorate again if you were pregnant, for example? Often fundamental changes such as losing as job or pregnancy can then cause mental health difficulties. You may still be grieving for the loss of your daughter and still suffer the trauma of it without feeling that trauma as sometimes happens.

If you were given a diagnosis you could contact Rethink helpline and discuss whether they think a treatment plan is still needed.

Or speak to your solicitor or barrister or get new legal advice using your court papers. You could call Parent’s Accused who can advise about cases of non accidental injury.

Pause might operate in your area and may be able to help.

I am sorry that I cannot answer your question but I hope those people I have linked you to might be able to help.

If you need further advice, please call our advice line again.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[FallingFlowers]

Thank you so much for the response. Therapy was not actually recommended by any court professionals, I self-referred myself so theres no psychiatrist - but I guess I could contact the therapist I saw and ask if he could?

Thankfully I do still have contact with my daughter - all via phone call at the moment due to the pandemic.

I also self-referred to Pause and completed my work with them this year- thank you for the recommendation, they're great.