Can I violate bail conditions?

[melon1990]

Hi everyone,

so sorry if I have posted in the wrong place.
I’m just after a bit of advice, I have been involved in a domestic violence incident which led to my ex being arrested and bailed with conditions not to contact me or come to where I will be. Obviously I know he can’t contact me but was wondering where I stand on sending Father’s Day/birthday cards to him from our young child? Will I be violating any rules? I am not wanting to do this to try and resume any form contact with him. What he has done is unforgivable but I don’t want to come across as punishing him through his child. I hope this makes sense?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear melon1990,

Thank you for posting and I am sorry my advice is too late for Father’s Day.
No, you will not personally be violating bail conditions as these are imposed on your exe to ensure he keeps away from you and your child while the police are investigating.
I assume that children services are involved. To be sure, I would always speak to the social worker before you communicate with your exe. They can risk assess whether it is safe to do so. It may put you and therefore your child at risk because he might interpret it that you have forgiven him and so encourage him to breach the bail conditions.
If you have sent a card, let the social worker know this so she knows you are communicating with him. If he was to turn up at your home, you also need to let the social worker know. If you did not tell her, then there is a risk that she wonders whether he has been to the family home many times and you have allowed it so putting your child at potential risk.
Here is information about domestic violence and children services.


If you have any questions, please post again or call our confidential advice line on 08080801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie