Advice needed urgently

[Cbrunna]

My son went to school and said his step dad picked him up by the throat, strangled him and then chucked him against the stairs. This categorically didn’t happen he picked him up over the stair gate Put him on the stairs and told him to go to his room. I think he got a bit muddled up with WWE and then play fighting etc. I was present I know exactly what happened. Anyway they called SS and I was told we would be having an assessment. My son has adhd and is under assessment for autism I requested to be present at their meeting with him and the SW said no so I made it abundantly clear that he needEd a teacher with him as one of his triggers is direct questioning and questions about historical events. They have been to school and questioned him and he was very guarded but she took him alone in a room with her colleague and no teacher. She also told me she would let me m wo what day she was going and didn’t do this either. My son was upset that she was there and she asked him who he wanted he stated he wanted me to which she then said “is this a school”? He responded yes, she then followed up with “is she a teacher here or work here”? He again said no, to which she then replied “well she’s not coming then”. To me this is coercive behaviour and intimidating to a child with additional needs and my son said it made him more upset because she was being mean. She spoke to me after and TOLD me “you are allowed to say you have spoken to me briefly and that I will be calling you tomorrow but you will not probe him and you will not ask him what I have asked him” she said this in the most undermining tone which I certainly don’t find acceptable. I didn’t point out to her that I don’t probe my son on anything we don’t have that relationship and I also know it’s one of his triggers and she spoke to me in the same way again and said the same thing. She was meant to call me yesterday to do a phone assessment and discuss the conversation with my son but text me to tel me that someone had ran into the back of her so she would call me this morning, she hasn’t called me today either. There’s numerous things I’m not happy with mainly what she said to my son and the way she said and the fact that we had agreed he could have a teacher present and she went against it. What can I do?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Cbrunna

Thank you for your post, I am sorry for the delay in responding.

From what you write you are disappointed with the way the social worker managed the ‘interview’ with your son and their lack of communication with you about your consent. Social workers can interview children without a parent being present, but they should have a good reason for doing so, see our FAQs here. It may be a good idea for you to contact the social worker or their manager and raise your concerns about how your family has been treated so far.

Most local authorities create protocols for assessments of families, if you have not been given one, I suggest you ask the social worker when they next contact you for their policy.

In the meantime Working Together to Safeguard Children 2018, is the Government’s guidance to safeguarding children. ‘Working Together’ sets out what good practice should like, please start reading from page 36 and if you have time write some notes about what you experienced versus what it says in the guidance. You may want to raise your points in the form of a complaint, at a later date. Here is our advice sheet about complaints entitled Challenging decisions and making complaints. I hope you find it useful.

Best wishes

Suzie