What could the outcome be?

[Lel002]

Hello,
I am hoping you could give me some advice on what the steps will be or what the possible outcome may be?

I am 9 weeks pregnant and i have just been to my first midwife appointment. She has decided to refer me and my partner to social services which has caused me and my partner and great deal of stress, as my partner has borderline personality disorder.
So she has refereed us to social services because she thinks there is domestic abuse in the relationship, which i can 100% say there is not. My partner has been involved with the police a lot over his life, including the 3 years we have been together, due to his disorder and not knowing what it was or how to cope with it, and yes i have called them for him as they were the only people who i knew could help me and him. He has only recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and the police have helped and supported him and me massively. He has had the chance to be diagnosed finally, have therapy, extensive doctors appointments and so much support! He is also medicated now and after so much hard work he is finally doing extremely well, it has been probably about a year now.
I suppose i understand why she has referred us to social services because she doesn't understand what borderline personality disorder is, but we are very frustrated by it, could we complain at all?
Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Lel002

Thank you for your post. I apologise for the delay in responding.

From what you write you say that you understand why the midwife has made a referral to Children’s Services about possible domestic abuse within your relationship, here is a link to a section on our website about domestic abuse and pregnancy.

You say that the midwife has been open and honest about her concerns and you and your partner have been too and that he is receiving help for his newly diagnosed mental health condition from other professionals. It would be a good idea to speak to the social worker about this too.

Making a complaint is a decision that you will have to make if you think you have been treated unfairly or misunderstood. You could ask the midwife what her experience is with regard to working with parents with mental health conditions. Mind has some helpful information that you can signpost people to and your partner may be able to access some leaflets that are relevant from his support services. It may be a good idea to give these leaflets to others who do not understand his mental health condition.

I hope this information is useful.

Best wishes

Suzie