How to work with SS

[ConsUK]

Hi, I am a father of 3 and a half years son. I'm shame of myself as I did something wrong, few weeks ago I received a suspended sentence and 10 years shpo for possession of indecent images .
I'm reading a lot and I totally understand the concern of SS and them involvement. I understand after a short call that in about 2 weeks will be a meeting, they have just reopened the case as they have closed previously, because they taught that relationship between me and he's mother have ended while I was on bail(we where living separately and still do). We are separated but we would like to try to live together and see if we can have a relation.
I already started my rehabilitation activity with the probation officer but looks like for SS doesn't matter.
I don't want to lie or sound rude but the social worker said to my wife that doesn't matter what program/course I will do or what else I will try to do or my wife said about me ( that for 8years I was a very good father and husband, no alcohol, no drugs, no work problems or violence and that would better for everyone if I will be close to my son for his development) , I will always be a risk and a sick person all my life and she wants to say to my son that his father is a person that hurts other kids and will make harm to him as well.
So anyone can point me how can I work with them , how can I make them to change their opinion about me ? What can I do to show that I'm not that person?
Being away of my family will destroy me. I know is my fault but maybe there is a chance to repair what I done .
Thank you.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Consuk,

I can see that you have very recently received a suspended sentence for possession of sex abuse images of children. Because of this, children services have reopened their case in respect of your 3 and a half year old son.
You are worried how your conviction will impact on your relationship with your son and your wife. The social worker has told your wife that you will always be a risk to your son and she wants to tell your son that you will harm him.
As you also have legal parental responsibility for your son (due to your marriage to mum), the social worker should also be communicating with you. I suggest you email her about the plans and let her know you that as you are a father you wish to be kept fully informed about her plans for your son.
Due to the conviction, children services will need to do a fresh assessment of you. This will consider whether your risk to your son has increased. The assessment should also consider what support you need to help you reduce your risk to your son.
Once you have completed any help or support-such as via probation-your risk may go down so you could ask to be further risk assessed. Also consider what other support such as courses you can do to help. To find out about other help and support, speak to the Just stop it now helpline on 808 1000 900 and look at the Parents Protect website.

While the assessment is taking place, it is likely that you will only be allowed supervised contact with your son.
Your wife says your son will be told about your offences so he can self- protect against you. Ask the social worker whether this is happening given the young age of your son.
You say a meeting is going to be held. Let me know what kind of meeting this is so I can advise you further.
If you need further advice, please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[ConsUK]

Hi Suzie, I wasn't subscribed to the topic and I haven't seen your reply. I can give some updates
- the first meeting has been held and now my son is on a child protection plan.
- his mom intended divorce ( but the case worker she is still not convinced and "adviced" her to find another relation)
- the case worker did chat with my son and told him that his father likes to see movies with naked children ( but I don't have any proof for them words so nobody believe me)
- one of my rehabilitation session was held by police officer and by rehabilitation officer ( that was before child family meeting) and everything I said there was used against me and apparently that was my assessment and looks like I am a high risk now.
- I am keep hearing the fraze that I don't show enough remorse for what I done
- the probation is saying that could be better in the future but on the other side SS are saying that nothing will change until my son will be 18 , only way of contact is supervised one in community ( city centre) only on daylight. I'm not able to go inside house, not able to travel with them, I would not be able to spend the Christmas with them and so one.
- what is worrying me is that all the words from social services are that doesn't matter my rehabilitation or of I'm doing any courses, nothing will change and they don't believe that I can be "healed"
- I tried to contact the case worker and I have sent her an email, she didn't bother to answer instead on the meeting she just mentioned that she received my email .

Sorry for my long answer but I am destroyed , it really can be done nothing to still have a chance to be with my family ? My son is just killing me when he is asking why you can't come home? Can we do that together?, Can we go somewhere? And so one . Today he wanted so much that all 3 ( me, him and mum) to make a picture together.
I destroyed my life but that doesn't mean that there lives should be destroyed as well.