Child in foster care

[BobtheBuilder]

I have already spoken to an adviser on the telephone. My daughter is on a section 20. I have severe PTSD. This has been ongoing for about 20 years since bing attacked. Í then ended up in an abusive relationship and had a daughter about 7 years ago I managed to get the police to attend my home and asked for help from the local authority. The professional involved would accept that I was a male victim and it took about 9 month for a support worker to get the professional to accept as a man I didn't need to have done something to deserve the abuse.
Over the next 7 years I worked with the Local authority with limited success. About 3 month ago after a period of things going well over lockdown my daughter became violent threatening me with knives and to spray chemicals in my face. She was 13 recently. The workers incolb3d said I dealt well with the incidents. Then one day there was a crisis and my daughter went to stay with a friend I said I couldn't cope. Two Social workers visited my home unannounced aware of my illness. There behaviour was witnessed over a phone line, they laughed at me and said I was putting it all on.. I disassociated and was left by the workers and I wandered off. I was found 4 hours later unconscious and hospitalised. The police paramedics and doctors said this should never have happened. The same worker was reported for this along with theft and other bad behaviour aim at damaging our family.
Since then I did a parenting assessment and the report is appalling an independent social worker told me it is biased and unfair and would expect a judge to heavily the quality. That isn't including lies and the fact the gave invidyals the wrong names.
Legal proceeding are being started and the worker are telling my daughter I am not writing to her we're in truth I have but the workers refuse to collect the letters and packages I have for her. They are continuing this even though the independent reviewing officer told them they were wrong. It appears my daughter is being given misleading information to harm or relationship further. The Social worker involved has sId to me she is friends with the previous social worker and will do all she can to help her. The local authority have suspended the complaint because the social work has gone on long term sick.
I don't know what to do, my advocate and solicitor seem unable to do anything and I can't find a solicitor to handle the complaint as I am told it is highly specialised. I have contacted solicitors through the law society with no success. I feel lonely and afraid and don't know what to do now for the best.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Bob the builder

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your daughter are experiencing. It sounds as if both you and your daughter have been under a great deal of stress and have a number of vulnerabilities. I hope that your daughter is getting help - perhaps from CAMHs? As a looked after child she should have a plan around her health, emotional and behavioural development.

Your daughter is now in a foster placement, I think, under a voluntary arrangement (section 20)] but the local authority are taking your daughter’s case to court to make longer-term decisions for her - if they obtain an interim or later a full care order they will be able to make decisions for your daughter that you may not agree with such as her remaining in long-term foster or residential care .

It is good to hear that you have a solicitor to represent you in the care proceedings. However, I understand that they are not able to help you with your complaint. You say that your advocate is also not able to assist you – have they said ‘why’ or made any further suggestions?

I think that you are unhappy about a number of different things:

• Social workers’ behaviour
• Social workers’ lack of understanding of your health and social needs e.g. initially not seeing you as a male victim of domestic violence, their poor response when you were unwell etc.
• The negative parenting assessment which included factual errors
• Social workers not supporting your current letterbox contact with your daughter – by not collecting or delivering them – and telling your daughter that you have not written to her
• An investigation into your complaint has been suspended as the worker is unwell.


It might be that there are a few different ways of addressing the various issues.

In terms of the complaint about the social worker – have the complaints department indicated when they will resume looking into this? As the social worker is off sick she is unable to respond at present but perhaps you could formally ask the complaints department (in writing) to reassure you when/how this will be reviewed. You could check with the Local Government Ombudsman if need be about what happens in such situations.

However, as children’s services will continue to be involved it will be important to find a way to continue to work with children’s services (and they with you). Your advocate may be able to help with this. Perhaps a (virtual) meeting with the current social worker, their manager, you and your advocate would provide an opportunity to work better together?

Also do you have any support for yourself i.e. from a social worker from Adult Social Care or Mental Health services? If eligible, this could include considering whether you could be offered any help to support your parenting.

It may be that the most important thing to focus on at the moment are the care proceedings for your daughter, as this is where and how decisions for her will be made. You should consider with your solicitor how to respond to the parenting assessment especially in view of your concerns about it. This could include querying if they can ask the court for you to have an independent social worker carry out a fresh assessment or an addendum to the current one if, as you believe, it is flawed.

Contact with your daughter will also be considered as part of the court case and, as you also mentioned, by the Independent Reviewing Officer as part of your daughter’s LAC reviews. Is there a good reason why video call or face to face contact (if Covid rules allowed) is not being offered, only letterbox? If it is a means of rebuilding relationships it should be actively promoted. Is the issue about the practicalities of the letters you write getting to your daughter? If so, there must be a way forward, where you/family/friend pass or post them to children’s services to deliver or they arrange to pick them up. You could contact the IRO again to let them know that this is still not happening and that you are worried about how this is explained to your daughter.

You mentioned that you previously spoke to an advisor so hopefully you are aware of our advice sheets which explain more about how the different processes you are involved in work and also offer some tips on working with children’s services.

If you have family or friends who could help support your parenting or care for your daughter, if needed, now is the time to explore this - a family group conference is a good way to bring your network together to come up with a family plan and it should be offered when there are care proceedings.

I hope that this information helps a little.

Please do post or call the freephone helpline again (0808 801 0366 Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm) if you have a further query.

With best wishes

Suzie