Unborn Child Referral

[Karamallama]

The unsurprising event occurred yesterday. I have been waiting for social services to become aware that I am pregnant ever since I did.

I am just over halfway through my pregnancy, and the over-officious local authority I currently reside in decided they need to do some enquires due to past history of the father.

My partner is about 10 years older than me, and had his 2 children from his previous relationship taken and eventually adopted. The ins and out are fairly standard for this local authority, but in the end, he and his ex lost in court.

Next week, I know I will get a phone call from a social worker to arrange some initial meeting.

The adopted children were removed on grounds of neglect, not violence or danger. I have no history with social services, and neither does my nuclear, or wider family. Even if the father was neglectful (which I certainly do not believe he is now, I was not around with him when the previous situation occurred, so I will save my opinion on that) I am not, and I have no history or risk factors for it, so as long as I can look after the child and ensure there is no risk of any harm (including the infamous 'emotional abuse' defined as any thing social feel like) they should just go away, right?

I get the fact that at the moment they are just fact gathering, and seeing if there is the potential for problems, given history, but knowing the local social and their attitude, I am expecting them manage to find some bilge to justify a continued presence. I don't know what measures to take to ensure they go 'oh, okay, the situation now is different, so we're off'.

I am really worried. I am hoping that they come around, speak to me, take a look at me, my flat etc and see that I'm already getting things for baby, and we've started doing baby's room, the place is clean and tidy, I'm clean and tidy, he's clean and tidy, and then go away. But I'm scared. This local authority is notorious.

I've spoken to my dad, and he says answer their questions, and be reasonable, but don't let them overstep their mark. I certainly think that's the best advice, but it doesn't relieve the fear.

Is there anything anyone can say or suggest to try and make them hurry up and do their 'required' investigations, and find that yes, he has some history, but my child will not be at risk?

Thanks.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Karamallama

Welcome to the discussion boards and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sorry that the involvement of Children’s Services is causing you anxiety at this otherwise happy time.

As your partner has had children removed from his care previously, Children’s Services have a responsibility to look in to the current situation and satisfy themselves that this new baby will not be at risk of “significant harm”.

As you have said, at the moment, Children’s Services are simply gathering information in order to assess the current situation and the potential risk. Their assessment will consider the baby’s needs, the abilities of both you and your partner to meet those needs and the wider environmental factors including wider family support etc.

As there are no issues limiting your ability to meet the baby’s needs and you are well prepared for his/ her arrival, I would hope, as you do, that Children’s Services will be reassured quickly that there is no need for their further involvement and close the case. Ultimately, however, any decision they make will be based on their assessments and view of the situation.

The most efficient way of reassuring Children’s Services is simply to co-operate with them as fully as you can. Emphasise from the outset that your baby is your priority. Be clear that you are aware of your partner’s history, you understand why Children’s Services are assessing the situation and that you are willing and able to engage with these assessments in the best interests of the baby.

As you have suggested, I would advise that, while you acknowledge your partner’s history, you do not get drawn in to a discussion about the rights and wrongs of previous decisions. Findings on this case were made in the court and, therefore, stand as fact. The important issue for you and your partner now is to focus on the current situation and the care that you are able to offer your new baby.

It may be useful for you and your partner to prepare for the social worker’s visit by making some written notes. Clarify all that you have done so far in preparation for the baby’s arrival and your future plans. It may be useful for your partner to reflect on some of the specific concerns raised in the past and the factors that are in place that would prevent these from being an issue for this baby.

You might also want to take the opportunity to write down any specific concerns and/ or questions you have about the process including timescales for assessments and decision making. Emphasise that you would like the social worker to be open and honest with you and give you appropriate feedback as assessments are being carried out.

You could give a copy of your written notes to the social worker when s/he visits so that there can be no misunderstanding about your position.

Do read our advice sheet about child protection procedures for more detailed information and/ or call our free and confidential advice line (0808 801 0366) to speak to an adviser directly.

I hope this is a helpful start Karamallama. Hopefully some other parents will be along to offer some further thoughts and support.

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[mummy04]

hi im in a similar situation to you although social services are not involved yet but im thinking about contacting them myself before some one else does , i was just wondering how your case is going so far and how the social have been do they look like they are going to give your partner a second chance? im scared my baby will be taken from me due to my partners past im just looking for some advice anywhere!