Could you help me advise my friend please?

[moomoos]

Hello,

I hope you can help me to advise my best friend of 15 years. Last week, her and her partner went out for a night out and after a few too many drinks they ended up arguing which turned a little heated. My friend contacted the police who dispatched some officers round and he was arrested. However she immediately regretted it. He had never been violent before and is normally a very caring and lovely husband. She has a daughter (who was not in the house at the time as was staying with grandparents). She didn't press charges and he was released back to the marital home a couple of hours later. The thing is she is absolutely terrified of social services becoming involved and taking her daughter away. I assured her that as it was a one off and she is a brilliant mum and has a very happy little girl that I didn't think her daughter would be taken away. She is absolutely mortified and regrets the incident and like I said nothing has happened like this before or since and I believe never will happen again. Do the Police inform Social Services? There is no risk at all to her daughter and my friend is in no way afraid of her husband. Could you tell me what the procedure is and help me to ameliorate her fears?

Kind regards and thank you for any advice you can give me.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Moomoos and welcome to the discussion boards. My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group

I’m sorry to hear about the anxious time your friend is experiencing.

It will be up to the police as to whether they notify Children’s Services of the incident at your friend’s home- this decision will differ between local authorities and individual cases.

In the circumstances you describe it would seem likely that Children’s Services would be notified. The only way to know for sure, however, would be for your friend to contact the police and ask them to clarify their policy and what they plan to do in this instance.

If Children’s Services receive a referral, they must make an initial assessment of the situation in order to decide how to go forward.
· They might make some brief contact with the family indicating that there will be no further action on this occasion
· They might decide to meet the family in order to carry out a more in depth assessment of the situation
· If the information they receive suggests that a child is at risk of “significant harm”, they might decide to hold a child protection conference.

While your friend’s anxiety is understandable, please do reassure her that children ‘s services would only seek to remove a child from their parents care in extreme cases where they feel the child is at risk of immediate significant harm. This would clearly not appear to be the case for your friend.

It seems most likely that Children’s Services would either decide to take no further action or would contact the family in order to carry out an assessment of the situation.

In the latter case, I would advise that your friend and her husband co-operate openly and honestly with Children’s Services in order to reassure them that,
· They understand the concerns about the recent incident
· They have taken steps to ensure that a similar incident does not happen again
· Their daughter is their priority and they are working together to ensure that she is not at risk of any harm

For further information, I would advise you to look at the interactive information and advice section of our website and/ or our advice sheet about child protection procedures. I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[moomoos]

Thank you Suzie. Maybe it will go some way to making her feel better. She is absolutely mortified at what has happened. Thanks once again for your help.

[ange301126]

dear moo-moo, tell your friend that if the Police feel it necessary to send a referral to Children's Services, it is my understanding they have a duty to and will normally address any concerns to parents first and discuss their intentions fully with them. If they have not done so then it is unlikely they have UNLESS they have decided to go behind the parent's backs which I doubt. Perhaps she should not be so worried just yet.