Life after court

[Regretfullman]

My apologies for this has been covered previously but I can’t really see anything recent and wanted to ask advise.

I was arrested back in Oct 2018 when my boy was only two months old for distribution of a Cat C indecent image child services were involved immediately and made many visits to understand if there were any issues which there wasn’t during this time I was told I couldn’t live at home and stayed at my dads. In December of that year I moved home and apart from them requesting that my wife was to supervise any time I had with my son life got back to normal and we tried to put things behind us. Shortly before July of this year the police got in touch with me and requested my attendance for a second interview which was very hard hitting as it brought things back up and they found additional images and evidence of chats and potential further distribution. I answered all questions no comment and I’ve been again requested to live elsewhere. I’m now due to appear in the magistrates court on 5th November and then potentially the crown court afterwards. My concerns are that I will not be able to spend time at home or at social events with my wife and son such at soft play and so on and that this will put a massive strain on my relationship with them both. Is there anyway even being on the register that child services can be more relaxed or is it just a case of considering myself to be no part of his life until I’m off the register.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Regretfullman,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I will be responding to you today.

You were arrested in 2018 for distribution of a category C image and after spending some time away from the family home you returned. Children’s services asked your wife to ensure that she supervise all contact between you and your son. More recently the police have found further evidence of images and chats and you are awaiting trial in November. You have moved out of the family home and you are concerned about what the impact of any conviction may have upon your contact and relationship with your son.

I hope the following is helpful to you.

Children’s services are highly likely to complete a risk assessment after your court hearing and any sentence that might be issued. This risk assessment would consider whether it would be safe for your son to have any contact with you. It is certainly possible that this risk assessment could find that a particular level of contact is safe for your son, however there is no guarantee either way with this. Being on the sex offenders register does not necessarily mean children’s services will suggest no contact at all – it will be dependent on their risk assessment of your family’s particular situation. Children’s services may take information from professionals involved in order to complete their assessment. This might include a probation officer and/or a police officer responsible for any SHPOs (sexual harm prevention orders). The risk assessment would also consider your wife’s safeguarding capacity and her responses to this situation. It is important for you to co-operate with the risk assessment process and work with children’s services towards the best outcome for your son and family as a whole. Here is a link to our guide for working with social workers which you may find helpful.



You may wish to consider accessing support from organisations which work with people who are worried about their own sexual thoughts or behaviour towards children, including online behaviour. The Lucy Faithfull Foundation and Stop it now! organisations offer this support.



I hope you find this helpful and should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday. You are also welcome to post again in this forum.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[Regretfullman]

Hi Suzie

Thanks for your reply I must apologise for the late reply. I have been to both magistrates and crown court now and been given an 10 custody with 18 months suspended sentence. I have also been placed on the sex offenders register for ten years and also a SHPO For ten years which monitors my internet use age. The SHPO is fine as there is no current offending to take place as this has caused so much damage as it is it’s the last thing I will be doing again. However my understanding is that this also extends how long my offence will stay on record furthermore the court case has been published twice in the media which I can’t get my head round as it seems as though the whole thing will follow me for the rest of my life.

I’m thankfully still employed and living with my dad which I’m happy with but it would seem that there’s no current plans for me to move back home for a number of reasons mainly my dads failing health and due to the press leakage my relationship with my wife is pretty much obsolete and I don’t feel I can ever be happy again. Part of me thinks I deserve all of this due to the offending but part of me wants to move forward and try and salvage a life out of all this mess please tell me I’ve still got something to live for

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Regretfullman

Welcome back to the discussion board and thank you for providing an update regarding your situation. I hope the information detailed below is helpful to you and provides some solace at this difficult time.

You are feeling positive about living with your father and remaining in work. However, your situation has had a significant impact on your relationship with your wife and you are worried about what the future holds.

You have received your sentence, are now placed on the sex offenders register for ten years and have been made subject to a sexual harm prevention order(SHPO) for ten years. The SHPO will remain on the Police National Computer indefinitely and can still be mentioned in future criminal proceedings even after it has become spent. It becomes spent after the length of the order. You do not have to declare it after it is spent except for an occupation exempt from the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act, e.g. working with children. Before it is spent, you will need to declare it when asked, to employers, insurance companies and others. DBS checks - both standard and enhanced checks unless it is eligible for filtering. Once spent, it will not be disclosed on basic checks. I have added a HERE
to an organisation called Unlock. It supports and advocates for people with criminal records to be able to move on positively in their lives and provides useful information regarding SHPOs.

You have not mentioned your son in this post. Are you having contact with him? Please refer to our previous post advising of children’s services likely involvement following your sentence. Also, as per our previous post you may wish to consider accessing support from The Lucy Faithfull Foundation and Stop It Now! Please see above.

To support you with your emotional wellbeing, I would suggest you speak to your G.P. who will be able to help you. The Samaritans are also available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair. This is their helpline number 116123. It is free to access from a landline or mobile phone. MIND also offer emotional and practical support for people who are feeling overwhelmed and distressed by their situation. This is their advice line 0300 123 3393 which is open Monday-Friday, 9am-6pm excluding bank holidays. There are some further restrictions over the Christmas period - closed on 27th and 28th of December and the 3rd of January, with normal service resuming from the 4th of January.

I hope you find this information useful.  Should you wish to speak to an adviser please call our free advice line: 0808 801 0366 (Mon to Fri 9.30a.m. – 3.00p.m. excluding bank holidays) Our advice line is closed on 25th December until 4th January. Or you can post again on our discussion board (they remain open over the Christmas period).

Best wishes, Suzie