Unborn Child Referral - Social Incompetence

[Karamallama]

So, previous post, I'm awaiting social services commencing their invasion into my life for their pre-birth assessment.

Last Tuesday, about 3 weeks after they had the referral they bothered to call and ask to 'come round for a chat'. Not that I am cynical, but I know with them, nothing is just 'a chat'. So I shuffled things I needed to do, to get them a 16.30 appointment on Thursday. Wednesday night I had a very bad night with my asthma. Thursday morning spoke to doc who wrote out a 'scription, handed it to their in surgery pharmacy, and I was told it'd be collectable at about 4.

Because of timings, OH called the social workers office, at 16.15 asked if the worker would be imminent or if we had time to run out and get the 'scription. They called her, no answer, assumed she was en route. At 16.55 (Just before their office shuts) she wasn't here, and we had no contact, so he called again and asked, because I needed the 'scription before docs closed. She was 'just leaving' her previous appointment, so we'd have time to run out for it. I stayed in, just in case.

At 18.12 she called us. She hadn't left her previous appointment due to some reasons or something. 'Not my problem' comes to mind. So we need to rebook. I said to my partner that off the top of my head I don't know when is the soonest she could come over, so she left it with us to contact her.

Tuesday, despite how tempting it seems to ignore them, I rang her office to make an appointment. She's on training, and might be able to call you tomorrow. She did call yesterday. At 19.06! While trying to sort dinner out. So now she's coming out Monday afternoon. Maybe she will this time. I'm getting really wound up by it. Then she wanted to ask a heap of questions that I thought was part of the reason for her coming out. I wanted to get on with sorting out the food... But she wanted to know if there were any outstanding issues from the previous involvement OH had with social, did I know about the fact there was previous involvement, (even if I didn't, social wanting to do a pre-birth assessment because of quote 'previous involvement' I must do by now!), is there anything we wanted to get out of the meeting.

I want her to hurry up and do the meeting, find that the situation is about as different as possible, and then I want to be left to my family in peace!

The worst bit is, I feel I should be on the defensive. Defending living a decent life! I feel like screaming I've done nothing wrong until I lose my voice. I keep looking at my flat and thinking of how social will twist it. Like at this moment in time, there is a folded pile of clean freshly dried laundry on my lounge table. I've just taken it off the airer, and when I've finished this, I'll iron it. But I know that social would take it as 'piles of laundry everywhere'.

My flat is clean, and tidy. It needs to be. I have extremely bad asthma, and dirt or dust would make me incredibly ill very quickly. We are well on our way to being prepared for baby. We have car seats (we have 2 cars, so leaving the one that doesn't attach to the pram in one car seemed a good idea), a pram that is suitable for birth until baby doesn't need it, a moses basket and bedding, sleeping bags, steriliser, bottle warmer, some clothes, 2 playmats, a changing table, some nappies, nappy bin, nappy wipes, nappy bags, sudocrem, some baby towels, some toys... We still need some things like the cot for when moses basket is outgrown, baby bath/bath support, and some bottles (although I want to breastfeed, it never hurts to be prepared), more clothes, non-bio washing stuffs, more blankets of varying styles and warmths, I want a spare pram... I'll stop there but the list goes on. As you can hopefully see, baby is my No.1 priority!

I'm just so incredibly worked up about it all. I'm sure they are just dragging it out to try and make us 'trip up'. Anyone have any ideas on how I can best demonstrate that there is no 'risk' here, to make them hurry up and go away?

Thanks

Karamallama

[purdie]

Welcome to the dreadfull service of SOCIAL SERVICES.

[iwantachange]

you should see my post called
come join the fight....................

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Karamallama

Welcome back to the board.

Sorry to hear that you are finding the current involvement from Children's Services so distressing.

From the sounds of your post, you seem to be doing everything that is being asked of you such as implementing a structured routine in terms of managing your home, as well as taking care of your own health needs in the run up to the arrival of the new baby. Although it is a difficult time, please try to keep your stress levels to a minimum, so it does not have a detrimental effect on the two of you.

Although you feel the current situation is very frustrating, may I suggest you continue to demonstrate your willingness to fully engage in the pre-birth assessment and your ability to prioritise your baby's needs.

This will then give you the opportunity to show that you have taken on board any professional concerns, whilst being open to any family support that may be available.

Once the pre- birth assessment is complete, if at that point you continue to have concerns about the social worker, being repeatedly late or cancelling planned visits, only at that stage would I consider putting in a formal complaint, if you still feel that you have been unfairly treated.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie