Sons father

[Ks200]

Hello
I have an 18 month old child with my ex partner. We have been separated since I was pregnant as children’s services made me aware he had allegations him and he was a risk to children. Though he wasn’t charged with any of them and they was NFA I understand they are still concerned he poses a risk.
They were going to complete a pre birth assessment but then they decided not to as I ended the relationship. They said if he was to have any contact it would need to be supervised and he would need to contact them for assessments to be completed.
I was shocked and upset at the time and I denied contact out of fear social services would remove my children.
However, lately he’s been asking me for contact. We agreed to meet up for a coffee to talk (our child wasn’t there). I agreed he could have supervised contact and he is going to contact children’s services to get the assessments started. We have been speaking on the phone since and it’s clear we both still have feelings for eachother
My questions are is firstly what would happen with the assessments? How long would they take? Would be be allowed supervised contact whilst they’re being done? And secondly would there be any chance we would be allowed to rekindle our relationship and stick to supervised only contact? Would my child be out on a child in need plan if we was getting back together or would it more likely be child protection.
I wouldn’t do anything that would risk me losing my child he always comes first to me. I just want to create a family unit for him and work with social services to make sure they’re confident I can safeguard my child from any risk.
Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Ks200,

Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.

You say in your post that you have an 18 month old child with your ex-partner. You separated during pregnancy as you were informed that he had a number of allegations against him, and was a risk to children. Children’s services did not complete a pre-birth assessment as you ended the relationship. You were informed that if he were to have any contact, it should be supervised and that children’s services should be contacted for assessments to be completed. Recently, your ex-partner has asked for contact and you have agreed to supervised contact. You say he is going to contact children’s services so that he can be assessed. You would like to know what to expect from the assessment, how long it would take and whether supervised contact can take place during this period. You would also like to know whether you will be allowed to rekindle your relationship and what the outcome of the assessment is likely to be.

Firstly, you have not stated what the nature of the allegations made against your ex-partner were, but it appears that children’s services were concerned enough previously to only recommend supervised contact. If you would like contact to take place, the first step is to contact children’s services and inform them of this. Children’s services may open a children and families assessment – this will involve speaking to you and your partner and any other professionals involved to assess whether the family needs any support. The social worker may also want to complete a specific risk assessment on your partner in order to make recommendations about contact. You may find it helpful to read more about what to expect from an assessment here.

There are a number of outcomes that can come from an assessment. The social worker may decide that they do not need to stay involved and may make recommendations around contact that they will expect you to enforce. They may also recommend a child in need plan or if they are concerned that your child has suffered significant harm or is at risk of significant harm, they may initiate child protection enquiries which could lead to your child being placed on a child protection plan. I cannot tell you what the outcome of your assessment will be; each case is different and children’s services involvement will depend on a number of factors including risks and strengths within the family.

Please note that children’s services do not have the legal power to dictate who your child has contact with and how this happens. Nevertheless, they can make recommendations, and they do have a statutory duty to safeguard your child. If they think that contact is happening against your child’s best interests, they may escalate their level of involvement, and in the most extreme cases, they can apply to the courts if they think removal is necessary.

It is clear that your child’s priority is your top priority and it is important that you work effectively with the social worker during any assessment to show insight into concerns and to communicate any support needs you may have. You say that you would like to reconcile with your ex-partner – again, you should share this with the social worker. The social worker may be concerned by this and advise against it, or may agree to work with your and your partner.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.