I have lost 5 of my 6 children to foster

[melhardy]

I am a single mum to 6 children, last october I left an abusive relationship, the man abused my now 15 yr old daughter, I reported the crime, and social services got involved.

All this time, the social have been happy to leave all the children in my care, in march this yr they applied to the court for an ICO, which they got, but the terms were for the children to remain in my care, but when the case went to court in March, the childrens court guardian recommended they be removed from my care, that same day the social decided to side with her, and ask for removal, I objected, the contested hearing was yesterday, and the judge gave them the right to remove my children.

I have 2 girls and 4 boys, aged 3 to 16. the 16 yr old has an eating disorder, he is under the care of a specialised clinic, my 15 yr old has metal health issues due to her abuse.

The only contact socail workers have had with my children since last october is a half hour once a week, they have not helped or supported the family. I have attended over 100 appointments, travelled 350 to 400 miles a week for my children, yet they are saying I am not engaging with professionals, and that I cannot meet the needs of my children, my 15 yr old is still with me until they find her a theraputic placement, which is a small consolation to losing the other 5 children. Thee social have no grounds to remove them, since last october, the whole family has improved, but I have been lied about to the judge.

I have had a parenting assessment done, and both me and the children have to have a psychological assessment done, the final hearing is November this year....I am devastated, and to make it worse, they have only put the younger 2 together in foster homes....

I need help, I want my children back..before November...what can I do, my solicitor seems to think it pointless to appeal the decision, but I have so much proof to show that I do understand, and can look after my children, this is killing me, and meanwhile, the real guily man is walking around free!!

Please help me, Please, anyone...

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Melhardy

Welcome to the parents' discussion board.

My name is Suzie, one of Family Rights Group's online advisers.

I am sorry to hear that you hare going through such a difficult time with the current care proceedings involving your children, five of which are placed in care at this time, having previously been placed at home under Interim Care Orders. From the information you provide, it seems that some of the children have been separated, which probably adds to your distress.

You say at this time your 15 year old daughter, has mental health problems, and is still placed with you, as she is waiting the right placement to be found for her. I am sure that the current uncertainty is difficult for you all to manage.

Can I suggest that in terms of trying to get your children returned to you, that you try to fully engage with any assessments asked for by the court. This will be particularly important, if this was one of the concerns raised before by the Local Authority. In addition, try to make any contact as good quality as it can be. How often do you get to see the other children.

It goes without saying that contact is likely to be supervised so using that time to ensure that you show that you are able to stay positive, and meet the children's needs on a physical and emotional level will be a useful written record that will be given to the court. Remember, that the Children's Guardian may wish to come to some of these sessions. So this information could be essential in any future decisions about whether the children are able to return to you.

Furthermore, try to ensure that you are open to suggestions for any further support from professionals. It may be helpful for you to contact the Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 1000 900. As they can give often give advice to families that have had to cope with the issues involved, when dealing with allegations of sexual abuse and similar experience to yourselves.

The Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist is an independent person trained to work with children in order to gain a proper picture of their wishes and needs when there may be concerns about their welfare. The court does not appoint them without giving it very careful thought, and there report will be key in deciding what may happen next. Therefore, it is important that the children feel supported to feel free to speak with this person, at what is such a difficult time.

In addition, you should be entitled to support with contact expenses. All of these issues can be raised with the Independent Reviewing Officer, the person who chairs the Looked After Review meetings. So be sure to talk to them about any help you may need regarding the children at this time.

Finally, please work closely with your solicitor, and keep them fully updated about any changes, so they can consider asking for any further assessments to be completed between now and the final hearing.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes



Suzie

[melhardy]

Many thanks for your advice, I have engaged with all previously requested work by the local authority, including non offender sexual abuse work, and domestic abuse work, aswell as getting my kids health up to scratch, and attending over 100 appointments in 5 months, travelling up to 400 miles a week to my childrens appointments etc, plus asking for extra help, which has been documented, i struggle to get the proper paperwork from the LA, and further to this, they have not seen my children in their placements since last thurs, esp my son with anorexia, who told me his foster carers were not even told about his eating disorder!!
this is a shambles, and i am working with many people to get my children back asap, i have plenty of people who will give statements if requested.

Contact is allowed twice a week for 2 hours, with the whole family.

In addition to all this, the IRO has failed to explain to the children the situation, the last review, i was ill, so it was done without me, and the comments made were not factual, but merely opinions of the IRO.

All in all, the LA and the IRO have failed my whole family.

[melhardy]

I have not failed at all to adhere to the child protection plan, not a single point!!
The LA are very slow to produce meeting minutes too, also they did not advise me before the legal meeting to have a solicitor present!
They have breached the rules many times!!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear melhardy,

I can see that there is a difference in what you say about engaging with the assessments. You say you do engage. Children services say that you are not fully engaging.

Could you have a meeting with your solicitor and ask him/her specifically what needs to happen for your children to be rehabilitated with you? Point out that you believe you have engaged with all assessments-why is this not enough? What else should you be doing? What do the guardian and children services expect?

It may be that the psychological assessment of you and your children will identify that you or your children have emotional or mental health issues. If these were identified-then you or any of your children could receive treatment which would mean your parenting skills may benefit or you would receive the support you need to help you parent.
For example, if you did have a health condition that needed treatment –then you could then get treatment that is needed which in turn may help you parent your children. Or if any of your children had an identifiable mental health condition-then they could then get the treatment needed and you can be supported to parent them.

Keep raising the issue of contact with your children with your solicitor-when can it increase?

In respect of your complaints about the social worker and the independent reviewing officer-you could keep a written diary and let your solicitor know. They could the raise it with the local authority legal department.
It is probably unlikely that you will be able to complain effectively-as usually when there are court proceedings the complaint will be put on hold until end of the proceedings. Your solicitor should be able to advise you of what is the practice in your area.

Finally, you say your children are in foster care. What about any family or friends? Are any available to be assessed as carers for any of your children?

Here is our advice sheet about care proceedings.
If you have a mental or emotional heath problem identified you could speak to an advisor from
Mind.

I know that it is incredibly difficult now for you-but please keep on working as best as you can with your solicitor and children services.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[melhardy]

Hi, my older 2 have mental health issues which are being treated, i am on antidpressants, but this has been commented on as a positive thing.

I put forward a couple of friends, they were not even asked to help with the care.

I have been made aware that the 3rd social worker in this case is leaving too!!

My 13yr old son is so distressed that he will not even unpack his stuff, the new SW is arranging daily phone contact, he is not attending school because of this!

I still have had no paperwork, or contact from my SW!!

This is ludicrous, and unneccessary, it is emotionally abusing more than 7 people, 6 of whom are vulnerable children, with no understanding of it all, they won't even explain it to my 16 yr old, they have refused!!



I am fighting this with every ounce of energy I have, my children should be where they are safe, which is with each other, and with their loving mother.

I have so much proof against the LA suggestions, I have a whole file of it!!

[ange301126]

Dear melhardy,



Many children are removed into the care unnecessarily by ruthless social workers which leads to a life of misery and ruin for the children and families concerned.I hope and pray it doesn't happen to you and I urge you to follow Suzie's advice.

A lot of people in your position find that social workers and Guardians do not look at the facts fairly.
Many parents on these forums have described the evidence given by social workers as ‘full of lies’ ‘distorted facts’ and ‘shocking allegations’. They can’t all be wrong! Do not be taken unawares when it happens to you! The general public are not allowed to see these statements because of the secrecy which prevails and neutrals are thus unable to make judgements as to their worth. The writers make the statements without following correct procedures as to fair investigation with an over-reliance on computer records mostly comprised of faulty entries made by other overworked staff. From the statements, it is never entirely clear what has actually taken place, nothing is satisfactorily accounted for and the ambiguity makes a case a huge puzzle. By the use of half-truths and allegations whilst omitting to investigate actual facts and discuss issues properly, the Social Workers appear to succeed in giving an impression of threat and aggression towards a child without actually explaining it in any depth. This is what ordinary parents mean when they describe social worker statements as ‘lies’.

Yes,follow Suzie's advice carefully, In my case ,when I offered to engage in Social Work assessments ,to work with the service and when I even agreed to accept a care order and work to get the children sent home, the social work team refused point-blank to work or even talk to me referring me to my solicitor and said they would see me in court!. The solicitor went to see the Local Authority and told her the same but she still stated to Court in the application that I would not cooperate,accept any concerns and work with them. Do what Suzie says and see your solicitor.I hope he or she does a better job than ours did.

As far as the psychological assessment is concerned,your and your children's mental health issues already seem to be clearly identified . You have told them all about it already but they probably did not listen.I don't want to worry you but I am afraid it is likely that the real reason they are commissioning a fresh assessment from a psychologist dealing with child protection work is that they want to get him or her to cast doubt upon your capabilities. See your solicitor and ensure that all your medical notes ( and the children's ) are sent to him or her as they should be and ensure you agree the letter of instruction.
Try and ensure that all the legal procedures are followed correctly.For example if the court calls for a core assessment,this should involve you and it should be an 'in depth' assessment .Not just a few brief details designed to misdirect the Court. Please do not panic at my advice,I'm only trying to warn you of what can happen!